Impressions of E3: Microsoft
Since I’ve been really busy these past couple of days, I’ve just been able to run through the Microsoft and the Nintendo media briefing. So, I’m going to fashion these E3 impressions in a bulleted format with several curse words interspersed throughout. Also: incorrect grammar and punctuation.
- Microsoft opens with The Beatles: Rock Band intro video. The art direction is amazing and it spans their whole career. Heart flutters a bit. After those videos, several staff members(including a cute girl with piercings) do a live demo to “Day Tripper”. It seems like three part harmony is going to be included in this game. I’ve never been a fan of watching people on a stage playing Rock Band. Watching it being played by a smattering of random friends in a den seems to resonate more with me. But that’s just me being an asshole. Soon after that they show the official trailer which includes my favorites “Back in the USSR” “Taxman” and “I Want To Hold Your Hand”. Once the trailer concludes, they confirm all Beatles albums available for DLC with “Abbey Road” being first to be released. Dhani Harrison, Olivia Harrison and Yoko Ono come out and wave and leave. Then Ringo and Paul come out and ham it up for the cameras…well, more Paul than Ringo. Ringo just looks a bit perturbed but not too much where it disrupts the mood of the presentation. Ringo just looks like that all the time I guess? Anyway, his sneakers look freaking great. They make a couple of jokes and bounce out. Great introduction to a press conference.
- John Schappert comes out and discusses how they want to introduce 10 exclusive titles for the 360. He discards the sales numbers crap and moves on. Pretty exciting considering nobody wants to listen to that. I always thought those sales numbers were for investors and board members rather than the press or the gamers anyway.
- Tony Hawk comes out on stage and it’s sort of disconcerting. This is like his 6th E3 appearance it seems. I’ve seen him at more E3s than Kaz Hirai. I wish that was a joke. He introduces a new skateboard peripheral for the 360 which would work with Tony Hawk Ride. There’s a video with a bunch of skaters such as Christian Hosoi and others talking about how easy it is and how much it is like skating. I’m not terribly impressed. I wouldn’t be surprised how a skater sees it being easy to skate with a skateboard shaped controller. You want to show me how easy it is? Get my dad on that motherfucker. If she can do it, anybody can do it. Not really impressed with the game or the controller as much as I am impressed with how much Tony Hawk hasn’t aged. He’s gotta be at least 84 by now.
- Modern Warfare 2’s trailer plays and it’s the same one that they showed during the NBA finals. Then afterwards they show an impressive live demo. This might be the best live demo I’ve seen in a long time. The guy they choose to play this flinches when he gets hit, jerks his hand back and forth as he runs and is visibly frustrated when he gets into a firefight. It ends with a snowmobile firefight. Win. They announce two map packs in timed release for the 360.
- Yoshinori Kitase comes out to show off Final Fantasy XIII for 360 which looks the same as the demo that came out in Japan with the exception of Odin being summoned. He’s huge and he actually fights alongside your character as a secondary party member. Looks pretty cool. I just now noticed, as of this writing, how cut short and trunucated the FFXIII is compared to the other live demos. They’re going for a Spring 2010 release. Yawn until then. Show me some new footage.
- From here on out these are considered exclusive titles as of this event, Schappert says. He disappears in a cloud of butterflies.
- Cliffy B. comes out. Okay, maybe it’s me or maybe I just haven’t noticed, but has Cliffy been working out? This guy is almost Carrottop size by now. He looks like Dom. They show off this new Live Arcade game called Shadow Complex after mentioning Castlevania and Metroid as influences. Wow, let’s hope the hubris translates into a good game, guys. I have no idea what that means but the game has this weird 2-D perspective where you can shoot enemies in the background as well as in your plane. The demo is short as hell. About as short as the FFXIII demo.
- Joy Ride is announced and shown and it’s FREE. But you have to pay for other cars and customizable items. Second Life on the Road. Home with cars. You get to use your Avatar in the game at least. Not really interested but it’s free so its bound to be fun right? RIGHT?
- A Crackdown 2 (Jizz-In-My-Pants) trailer shows where a new character jumps around, shoots some guy in the face and moves in slow motion.
- Surprise of the show to me seems to be the Left 4 Dead 2 trailer. Although I love the first L4D, I’m not sure if I’m ready for another one so soon. Not sure if it’s going to be DLC or not but the inclusion of a chainsaw, frying pan or a baseball bat adds to some variety to the weapons. The fact that a black woman is fighting zombies really excites me (harkens me back to Michonne in The Walking Dead). Seems to be set in the south and also some dude that looks like Rick Ross is in the game as well. November?!!? Jesus Valve, you really do love us.
- Now my favorite demo of the show HAS to be Splinter Cell: Conviction. I’ve never fancied myself a huge SC fan but I have played them all and I’ve been thoroughly impressed with them. This game seems to throw away the mechanics of previous games and given you free roam over any given area, with millions of different ways you can beat the shit out of someone. A cool story mechanic is showing flashbacks of certain narrative elements in the form of projections on a wall or a ceiling or the floor. Also contextual clues on where to progress the story. They show Sam Fisher decimating some guy in a bathroom, shooting a bunch of guys in the face, and acting on his predatory nature by crawling onto ceiling fixtures and pouncing on enemies. They also mention a marking system which is straight out of Rainbow Six but this seems a bit more brutal. During this whole demo, I believe 485 people got killed.
- Forza Motorsport 3 is unveiled. It looks VERY impressive. They take several shots at Gran Turismo and calls FM3 “the definitive racing game of this generation”. Ouch. FM3 seems to aim towards everyone including beginners by making it more accessible through “one button driving rewind”, whatever the hell that is and gameplay rewind. There seems to be a cool video editing feature to make your own car commercials as well. Nice.
- Halo 3: ODST goes past the foreplay and into the intercourse by heading in with a live demo with commentary by a Bungie staffer. The game looks cleaner and faster. Since this is a different type of trooper from than the Spartans, they have a few different things to their disposal including a night vision toggle for their visor. Nothing really new in this Halo release it seems but it looks good. They also release a Halo: Reach trailer which will be available with ODST. They also mention a Co-Op mode for ODST called “Firefight” which will be shown later at E3.
- Finally, a freaking Alan Wake live demo. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is this the first time they’ve shown this? Jesus Christ. This game has been in development for as long as my niece has been alive (hyperbole). It looks like a weekly serial TV show with it beginning with “Tonight on Alan Wake”. It looks pretty though. The enemies seem to be afraid of light but Alan has a flashlight. How convenient. Whoa someone just whacked Alan with a sledge hammer or something. Spring 2010?!!? What? Wasn’t this supposed to be the first PC game to use Direct X 10 graphics native or take advantage of multicore processors or something? Or was that a rumor? Jesus, this game is older than Jesus…seriously.
- After this time, I kinda blanked out because I knew I wanted to see the new games but I’ll give a quick rundown: You can put Netflix movies in your queue through your 360, Last.fm support and streaming, Facebook integration, Twitter integration (uh oh), Zune Video relaunch with all 1080p movies available instantly, the UK can finally get movies per an agreement with SKYTV, nice, Felicia Day (swoon).
- It’s about over but…wait. Hideo Kojima pops up out of nowhere. He announces Metal Gear Solid: Rising. Snake is nowhere to be found but whatever dude, we have Raiden now and he’s cool now that he’s 95% robot. No gameplay is shown. Just a short teaser with Raiden’s metal face staring at you.
- Project Natal is shown which uses your whole body as a controller. It looks cool as hell but eh. I’m not impressed to be truthful. I”m a lazy fatass and although I’d like to try it out….HOLY SHIT Steven Spielberg? Micro$oft apparently enjoys making it rain by bringing out these people. I’m just now noticing in my stream on IGN, the green lights in the background make my head hurt. For some reason after this, I’m pretty impressed with Natal. Kudo Tsunoda (good to see him again) is on stage, either visibly drunk and/or high with sunglasses on. He displays some early prototypes and shows us the bottom of his Avatar’s shoes. It’s quite funny to see his Avatar moving like a ragdoll with broken arms. He shows off Richochet where it’s like a 3-D game of Breakout with your body. Looks super tiring but fun. It’s amazing how NOW i’m quite excited about this. AAAAAND Kudo fires shots at “Waggle” commands. ETHER. Next they show some game called Splat, where you make art using your whole body. Color (pun) me impressed.
- Peter Molyneux (of Lionhead studios) comes out and introduces Milo, who you can interact with and apparently draw pictures for. Pretty impressive and innovative.
My Thoughts
I didn’t really want to grade anyone’s press conferences like I enjoy doing so I’ll just give a short review: Microsoft wants to keep players on their side. They’ve thrown a lot of money into R&D for Natal and spent a gang of money to secure exclusives and timed releases for certain DLC. They’ve also expanded their integration by throwing Twitter and Facebook into the mix. Digital content seems to be a big thing this E3 as well by improving their video service and expanding their video service across the pond with the inclusion of the SKYTV partnership. Microsoft seems to be making their system for everyone. Should Nintendo be shaking in their boots? No. Nintendo already has their audience and it’ll be hard to catch up to them. Microsoft, however is great at marketing their platform as a media device as well as a gaming device. If anything, it’ll give reasons for current owners to stick with the 360.
renegade frenchfry. 
Leave a comment