why being a mom is enough.


I'm talking about simply being a mom.

I'm talking about getting up in the morning, slapping your face with water, looking in the mirror, sighing, brushing your teeth (maybe), and picking up that toddler and wandering into the kitchen and pouring cereal in bowls, rinsing dishes, kissing the top of their head, and waiting for your coffee to brew.

There isn't much glamour.


There is you. You giving of yourself. Minute, by minute, by minute, by minute until those hours add up to create a day which adds up to create a week which adds up to create a month which adds up to create years which add up to create a life. A beautiful life filled with ordinary enough mom moments.

Somehow in this mixed up media world of things to do and places to go and dreams to follow the beauty of simply being a mother is completely lost.

Being a mom is enough.

It's enough, I say.

Sometimes we want to look to those big things and use them as a grade for success. We look at the cool science fair projects where our child got the blue ribbon. But, honestly, we miss the hours of interacting and holding glue sticks and looking up things and laughing side by side. We want the trips to Disney or American Girl Doll and discount the time spent in the backyard. The bar of success and joy and happiness gets pushed so high by culture that the little things, the enough mom moments, are lost.

Do you know what matters?

This.


The other day my 15 year old came to me and told me she missed me. Missed me? I couldn't believe it. I was a bit incredulous, actually. I told her about the trips to the movies, the trips to the yogurt bar (are those places ever cheap? I mean, seriously, $24 total for four containers of yogurt with a variety of too heavy toppings? End rant.), shopping together, getting Starbucks, and all of that. She looked at me and told me that's not what she meant. She told me she just wanted me present during the day.

Little things.

Like stopping my crazy busy mom and work agenda to look at the graphic design she made on the computer and really looking at it and trying to appreciate her talents. It's about me taking thirty minutes to play cards at the table with them and not checking email constantly on my phone. Email can wait thirty minutes. They cannot. It's in not worrying so much about the laundry and instead just letting that go and being thankful for a family to do laundry for. Just being there. Cooking together. Laughing. Giving of myself in the simple things.

Mom things.


The things that don't get celebrated on Pinterest that much. They're the just a mom things that I write about and celebrate. They're the things that most people probably won't see.

They don't see you stand in the bathroom and gather your resolve every morning. They don't see those of you who mother alone without much support. They don't see the trips to the car back and forth and back and forth. They don't see you counting to ten a dozen times before noon. They don't see you look at the bank account and sigh and try to figure out how to make three meals with what's left in your pantry. They don't see you walking into the principals office, doctor's office, friend's house and defending your child.

They don't see bandages placed on knees. Kisses on foreheads at night. Pillows pushed just the right way and blankets tucked to the perfect demands. Laundry folded and folded and folded. Tears that sting your eyes as your keep going. Dinners prepped over the stove. Times of laughter over silly things. Hair brushed and pulled back into pony tails. Prayers over wandering teens. Prayers over little babes. Nights spent sleeping in a chair holding a sick child. Days where the house is a wreck but you're reading books. The brave smile on your face when you're weary.

Those things matter.

Those things are the little things that add up and and up and up.

I say those things are enough.

Don't be weary, dear mother, in trying to keep up with a supermom agenda. There is no supermom, really - that whole supermom who has everything together is just a fallacy. There are real moms. Real, authentic moms who admit that they don't have it all together but keep on fighting. Scared and tired moms who keep fighting. Moms who are overwhelmed by keeping up with littles all day long. Moms like you and me who sometimes feel lost in a world of outward accomplishments.

A mother isn't based on external perfection. A mother is the person, the woman, just like you. The woman with little ones in her care that she loves, and sometimes wonders how she loves them because they're driving her batty, but still she does. She fights, gives, prays, works, and doesn't give up even when she wants to throw in the towel.

That's you. Today. Tomorrow. Yesterday.

I say that is enough. 

It is more than enough.

You are amazing.

********

Read The Spirit of Motherhood to learn why I am so passionate about motherhood.

For more reminders about why motherhood matters check out my my dear mom letter ebook - it's full of letters reminding you why you matter and why you're not failing and honestly, why mothers are absolutely amazing.

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Images credit: Hannah Nicole
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

139 comments:

Michelle said...

And I say, thank you again for your words. They arrive in front of me just in the moment that I need to hear it the most. I am enough. Thanks for being my encouraging cheerleader. :)

Steph at I'm Still Learning said...

I couldn't agree more. I often find that I'm so concerned with the outcome of something that I miss out on the experience at hand. I try to be mindful of the little things in life. It's the awareness of those little things that make for a happy life, in my opinion. Beautifully written, as always.

Michelle said...

I've been praying for an answer. Praying for some direction, something to keep me going... and there it popped up in my email - your blog. I once again applaud you for your words that touch the lives of those who need it most. Thank you thank you thank you for the reminder and encouragement.

Meagan said...

As always, your words speak right to my soul, right where I need to hear them most. It has been one of those days of attempting to juggle work and kids and more, but your words remind me of what really matters. Thank you. I will definitely be sharing this post with my readers because what mom wouldn't relate?

Karin said...

This was simply wonderful and exactly what I needed to hear! Saw this posted from mamalode. Loved it loved it. Thank you!

Shelly Cunningham said...

That entry paragraph... it's poetry. I am going to print it and hang it on my fridge in my home in Alaska, so that every morning this fall, I remember that my "normal" is everyone else's normal. That I am not alone in this.

Oh, and "The brave smile on your face when you're weary"... Yes. This is what I needed to hear.

Thank you.
From the bottom of my heart.

Gramomster said...

I had this thought just the other day, holding my grandson at the riverbank. We'd gone down to an event to hear some music, play in a bounce house, see friends... the best part of the day, the most meaningful moment of the whole week, was holding my wet 7 year old on a sunny rock to warm him back up after a trip into the river. And his wet shivery little body reminded of holding his mommy when she was wet out of the swimming pool at his same age. It was warm, and it was sunny, and his body was as still as I've seen it in ages, just curled into mine.
Thanks for reminding us all that it is those moments, not the things, not the places, but the being present.

Unknown said...

Amen. Just amen. Thank you for the encouragement.

Jadalynn Griffin said...

As I stopped to check my phone as it was beeping from a text with your like in it, I was in the middle of resorting toys into their proper bins, doing dinner dishes (yes, three hours after sinner they were still on the table) switching laundry. All while the rest of the house is sound asleep. No one knows how the house is miraculously clean in the morning, they just know I am there to love on them, fix them sippy cups, brade hair for dance class and make one more pbj.
Thank you for reminding me that it is ok to just play with them and enjoy the process of making memories and being enough! :D

Anonymous said...

I really needed that...

Lynn said...

Never, ever wanted to be anything besides a wife and mother. The Lord has blessed me so greatly!
Praying right now!
1 Peter 1:18-19, 20 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot (21) Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God.
My email address

Unknown said...

Thank you so much for sharing this post! You are an amazing mom and you are truly inspiring. Your encouragement really had a very good impact. Thank you for your words. :)

Kimberly King said...

You have no idea how wonderful it was to read this. With 4 little ones, it's easy to get discouraged when I find that my sister-in-law has her kids in soccer and baseball and swimming, and they're camping and doing crafty things, and they're vacationing at all of these wonderful places, while the six of us are at home, playing in our backyard with nothing more than a swing set. It's easy to think I'm not doing enough. So thank you for showing me that there are other moms out there like me.

Unknown said...

Love your beautiful words. Admit I got a lump in my throat as I related to most of it. Thank you!

Kathryn-nannygoat said...

Thank you... just what I needed today and I will enjoy this day of motherhood because of your thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Can I just say that your gentle words and stunning "messy" hair combined with your loving heart make you the most beautiful person! Keep being you, because you are a gift to others just the way you are...

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for your blog post. I sat here crying so very encouraged. Thank you!

Jessy G said...


"They don't see you stand in the bathroom and gather your resolve every morning. They don't see those of you who mother alone without much support. They don't see the trips to the car back and forth and back and forth."

This is me EVERY morning :) Ha ha

Anonymous said...

This is amazing. It made me cry but in a good way. This is me every day and these are words of encouragement that I need.

Unknown said...

Loving your blog its exactly what I have been looking for. Having recently had my second baby I have suddenly had a revelation about every day life and the special things that make up a day. New to blogging also please check out my blog have no idea what im doing but enjoying it.
http://snippetsandspirits.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I wish I heard some of those encouraging words while I was bringing my four kids up.
They turned out pretty great but I wish I would have taken more time to just spend time with them.

Autumn said...

Thank you for this post as I spent most of the day recovering from falling apart last night due to grieving over the child I lost in the wintertime. My due date is coming up and I just had to sit and cry about it--the loss and the grief, but also the joy in the three children I do have and what would I be without them? This line from your post resonated the most with me: "The brave smile on your face when you're weary." That's me--smiling at my three beautiful, different, wonderful children all day long. Because without them, there would be such emptiness, still, in my heart and my life for both my husband and I. Your blog is wonderful and your words are a salve. So, thank you again.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had been made more aware of the things that you write about.I did love and enjoy a lot of small simple things when my children were very young but failed when they were teenagers.For that I'm very sorry but I can't change the past,hopefully I can do better from here on..I will do my best with my grown children and my grandchildren. Thanks for your blog.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this. God bless you. Tears.

Anonymous said...

As I juggle a medical practice, a 2 year old daughter, a husband, a baby on the way, and various other projects and responsibilities, I've been a *little stressed. My mother asked me yesterday if I ask myself what I want instead of what I need. Without thinking I said "I want to be a good mom". End of story. Everything else comes second. Some days I do well, some days I don't (with crazy morning sickness 24 hrs a day, there have been more than a few lately), but in the end what it comes down to is nobody ever says they wish they had spent more time in the office when their children were little. I think all those little things we do make us super moms, even if the "S" isn't capitalized.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this wonderful wonderful article. Just enlighten my day and encouraged me to go on with my imperfections. You are a blessing to all moms for airing our worth and reminding us that indeed, being mom is more than enough :) Thank you and God bless :)

Krystal said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. It hits very close to home right now as I am currently battling some health issues that have left me short of patience with my three toddlers (ages 6,5 and 3). I find myself in the constant state of feeling like I'm NOT enough. I think, of all people I should be over the moon every day, as I know what it is like to burry a child. I should feel more grateful. And yet, some days it's all I got to keep it together. Yet, at the end of the day when they are in bed and I have a moment to enjoy the quiet...I know they are my world. It's in the very small moments that I am reminded how lucky I am an how blessed we are for having these precious children. Though I have to admit with battling my own health issues, I quite often feel lost as a mother. I expect so much more...I KNOW I have so much more to give and yet...I'm exhausted and the guilt for not feeling enough sometimes weighs me down like a brick. I read this post and while tears stung my eyes, it was a wonderful reminder about the importance of the small things and that this too will pass. Thank you so much for sharing!

Krystal said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. It hits very close to home right now as I am currently battling some health issues that have left me short of patience with my three toddlers (ages 6,5 and 3). I find myself in the constant state of feeling like I'm NOT enough. I think, of all people I should be over the moon every day, as I know what it is like to burry a child. I should feel more grateful. And yet, some days it's all I got to keep it together. Yet, at the end of the day when they are in bed and I have a moment to enjoy the quiet...I know they are my world. It's in the very small moments that I am reminded how lucky I am an how blessed we are for having these precious children. Though I have to admit with battling my own health issues, I quite often feel lost as a mother. I expect so much more...I KNOW I have so much more to give and yet...I'm exhausted and the guilt for not feeling enough sometimes weighs me down like a brick. I read this post and while tears stung my eyes, it was a wonderful reminder about the importance of the small things and that this too will pass. Thank you so much for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this. No one in my real life says these things to me, ever. So, if I have to hear it from a stranger in a blog, then I guess it's better than never hearing these words at all. Why can't people lift each other up?

sarah said...

This is so beautiful, so wise and wonderful. Thank you for writing it. You are right - it is more than enough.

Lynn said...

Life can be overwhelming at times, but the victory is ours through Christ! Put your trust in Him! Praying!
1 Corinthians 15:54-57 So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
My email address

Anonymous said...

Love this moments reading this article. I did have moments doubting myself if I did enough for them. Thank you for making me realize it. ��

Anonymous said...

Beautiful...well said my dear :)

Unknown said...

All I can say is, thank you.

Shanna
mommacdesigns.blogspot.com

Alicia said...

Thank you for this. Having a really rough day and not feeling the much-needed support from my husband. This makes me feel so much better.

Thank you.

Unknown said...

Well, geez. Tears streaming.

Sarah F said...

Beautifully put from one real mom to another. Thank you.

Unknown said...

Thank you for these beautiful words. From a mother who is doing it all over again, raising my young granddaughter, I often doubt myself and this made me feel so much better and I can really relate. Thank you again. :)

Paula Hong said...

Thank you for this. Can you take a look at my post?
It's for moms who take their kids to therapy. http://www.paulalovesjosh.blogspot.tw/2013/07/therapy.html

Unknown said...

As a new mom (my baby just turned 9 months) and going through some rough days lately, I really needed to "hear" this. The words went straight to my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for reminding me that I am enough and that what I am doing, no matter how insignificant it may seem, is making a difference for my son.

Anonymous said...

you expressed a mom's sentiments beautifully.. ur words are so honest and inspiring. i needed to hear it.. and believe me.. no matter who we are and what we choose to be..in the end.. being a mom is really enough!! thank you frm the bottom of my heart for writing it.. i shared it with so many of my dear frnds.. near and far.. we all are in that boat at some point and we all feel it. yet.. to hear it out loud from others is so helpful. thank you. pls keep writing!

-keyo
spellbound18@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written, you brought tears to my eyes.

Anonymous said...

It's almost a painful reminder when I see things like this (similar to "being a mom is the best job ever!). It was a nice post but sometimes I feel moms write things like this because they somehow have to justify that they're "just a mom". I wish I could be a mom...not all of us are so lucky.

mabel said...

this post almost made me cry. i am a working mom and things can sometimes be overwhelming. but thanks for reminding me to just take things one at a time and just focus on loving my children more.

Cathy Messenger said...

I found your blog through a friend today. I would love to be able to write like you do but that is why people like you have such talent...to speak for the rest of us. We had our children just at the end of the "normal" stay at home mother era. People looked at me like I had two heads because my husband and I chose to live on one income and make motherhood the fulltime job it is. True, we never had a vacation that didn't involve staying with relatives, and few of the "things" everyone else had but I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Reading aloud all evening while the children lay on couches eating popcorn or spending summer afternoons at the village pool are memories we still share even as their children head for adulthood.
Young mothers today need you to not only validate their choices but to encourage them to appreciate those choices. Thank you.

Karah said...

Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL writing. I dare say, you must print this out and hang it on the fridge alongside your kids stuff! :)

The Vronko Family! said...

Thank you.

Unknown said...

Lovely. Yes. Thank you.

Lynn said...

Lifting up prayers to the Only One who can hear!
Psalms 34:4, 6-7 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. (6-7) This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.
My email address

slmlegs said...

Beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing. I needed this today! <3

Christy said...

Women are so hard on each other and themselves. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in what your peers are doing and what you think you’re not doing. Did my kids eat ‘lunch’ today? No, but they snacked healthfully all day on which eventually contained all the four food-groups and ingested enough water to keep them hydrated.
What did the imaginary people on the sidelines say to that? Oh wait, they don’t exist. Today my kids were not the cleanest, they sassed a little, I didn’t clean the house, I did dishes at 4 pm, I didn’t even set eyes on my washing machine. But, I taught them to say goodbye to friends moving away, we visited, played and bonded with supportive mom group friends, we talked, played, wrote our names, added up prices at Sam’s club, talked about helping and coordinated a meal for a friend, played with our pets and neighbors, we swam, we watched TV (good Lord, save us, right? Whatever.) did imaginary play and even tried to rest a little. We prayed. I prayed for rest. That didn’t work so when Daddy came home early after a dentist appointment, the kids were excited and we hung out, made dinner, accosted the Schwan’s man (well, Isak any way) and just lived. We just lived our lives tonight and didn’t care who was watching or who wasn’t. I had a little wine. Yep, I like it. Sorry. Oh wait, I’m not.
Both my kids, (and husband for that matter) are tucked into bed, as are the dogs. Everyone is peaceful and sleeping and I feel good. My house is messy, my dinner dishes are not done, but somehow I find the strength to move on It’s raining and relaxing and after reading and pondering this article for a while I just have to say, as long as you’re on the narrow path, stop being so hard on and stop judging yourself. Just live and feel good about it.

MommysAnonymous said...

This is a beautiful reminder and great encouragement... thank you!

SAHM said...

I am not a mom yet, but I am a stay at home young wife. Struggling with with feeling insignificant. This article helped me a little. Thank you.

Joy said...

Love, love, love. We need to be reminded that what we do is valuable--because the current culture doesn't value motherhood.
Thank you Rachel. Blessings and keep up the good work (both in motherhood and in your fabulous writing!

Unknown said...

Glorious!

Brittany said...

I just love this post! Sometimes it's so hard to press pause on everything and truly BE there. It's a struggle, but it's so important. I was in my kids' room tonight cuddling our 19 month old son because he was restless and having a hard time sleeping. There he lay in my arms inhaling, exhaling, heart beating in tune with mine.. And it hit me.. How much time do I spend IN their room and not just passing through putting up laundry and picking up legos? We're not perfect and neither are out little angels, but we need so desperately to be reminded to BE there and not just be there around them. The world is bidding for their attention and they're being pulled away from us one inch at a time. Hold on, mamas... <3

www.lifeunscriptedministries.org

christa sterken said...

sharing this with everyone I know on social media today. Your words are priceless, so important for moms to hear. FOr years I struggled against family thinking that this, this mothering, could not possibly be enough. Oh, but it was. I look at my 15 year old and say "I miss you" . she laughs and smiles
www.christasterken.com

Melanie Routhier said...

This is beautiful! Thank you for this amazing gentle reminder of what it truly important. When I think of my Mother and what I loved about my childhood it is always about her. Simply being there for us and loving us. This is what I hope my son remembers of his childhood. Not how many play dates he had.

Anonymous said...

thank you! :) needed to hear this.

Charmaine said...

Beautiful.
I miss my 17 year old daughter. I can relate to the bit where it costs money to just spend time with them :) Coffee cake lunch, i wish we could just sit at home and have coffee or do something relaxing together that doesn't involve her phone, texts and facebook *sigh*

Or worse still, Mum, i will see you in a little while and many hours later, i may have been lucky enough to set eyes on her.

Anonymous said...

I'm 61 years old and my best memory of Mum is just Mum and me, sitting quietly in the car, saying nothing, whilst waiting for the bus to take me away to college. Just being together and feeling the love was enough.

Anonymous said...

Keeping out of the graveyard today is hard and just being there for all that life throws at you - in my eyes makes one the best mom in the world

Hannah Braboy said...

This is beautiful, beautiful truth. I've been discovering this very thing, even within my relationship with my fiance. Need to remember this.

Anonymous said...

This brought me to tears. Incredibly moving and humbling. Thanks for sharing. And yes, there are dishes in my sink too! And two baskets of unfolded laundry!

Jess @ Crunchy Hot Mama said...

This is beautiful! Just what I needed to hear. Sometimes we mamas try to do it all and sacrifice that time with our children. We need to accept that we are enough just being a mom and that's ok. We can't do it all and don't need to, for life will pass us by and we'll look back with regret. This post is reminding me to sit down and hold my 3yo as much as possible, because that time will be gone before I know it.

I can totally relate to this post: http://crunchyhotmama.com/2013/01/11/i-am-not-superwoman/

Unknown said...

Thank you for yet another excuse to sit in front of my computer and just let tears fall. You're awesome.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this to make me feel like im doing a good job. This just what I needed

Karlberg Fam said...

It is enough to just be a mom, and you don't realize how lucky you are. I am currently the breadwinner for my family and wish I could be the stay-at-home mom. I wish I could be there for everything, but right now I can't. Cherish the time you have with your children, there are many that don't have that luxury.

MamaBee said...

Hi Rachel, I just stumbled across this post on FB when a friend posted it. I reposted on FB but would love your permission to repost on my blog: embeecroft.blogspot.com

I am looking forward to reading more... some similarities! I am like what I see so far!

Best,
Emilie

Mary G said...

And please don't leave out those of us whose children were floundering in the public school and made the sacrifice of financial security in order to bring that child home where she needed to be, and educate her myself so her self esteem wasn't destroyed in the flood of people.

Our society sometimes chooses to view us all as religious whack jobs, not realizing that some of the kids who would otherwise be put on drugs in order to stay in school COULD come home and learn successfully in a healthy environment.

It was ALL GOOD. =)

Anonymous said...

This may be simply the best description of motherhood that I have ever read. Beautiful.

Lisa Grace said...

Beautiful; thank you so much.

HappinessSavouredHot (Julie Saint-Mleux) said...

Very nice. And nice pictures, too.

I don't think it's that surprising your 15 year old can tell you she misses you, if you're the wonderful mother you sound to be. :-)

Unknown said...

This post should be etched into a bronze plaque and fixed to every public building in the world! Fantastic. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Being a mom is enough. In fact, it is more than enough. The best time of my life :) There is nothing more valuable I could have chosen to spend my time doing for the past 24 years. The rewards are many.

Anonymous said...

i needed that , i'm a first time mom of a 7 month old little boy, which i love , but there are some days that i think i'm not doing enough, for him, i cant do it anymore but i still press threw those days , so thank you for posting and writing this, it gives me hope

Happy Soul Project said...

Simply amazing.... Beautifully written.. t @ Happy Soul Project

Unknown said...

Thank you so much for this, just when I feel like I'm not enough.. God puts your words before me and I am renewed. God bless you from a mom that is more than enough!!

SocialButterflyMom said...

I need to stop saying, "I was a teacher, but now I'm just a stay-at-home-mom." Just...? Who am I kidding? This is the single most important job anyone ever has.

anna said...

Well THAT was just awesome! Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I need to remember that being a mom is enough!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I cried when I read this. Thank you so much.

Anonymous said...

Thanks I needed this

Jennifer said...

Thank you so much for posting this. It's as if some of your words were from you, and yet some of them were from my heavenly Father. Thank you for reminding me. Thank you for being used by Him.

Anonymous said...

I was blessed to be able to stay home with my son. I always felt our time together was more important than a clean house or fancy meals...we did things together that didn't cost money...We spent time outdoors...not in front of the television...we caught bugs and other critters then went to the library to learn about them...if we did go to a movie, we sat down afterwards and discussed it...as I said, I was truly.blessed to be a stay at home mom.

Joy said...

Aw, this is really sweet. I read it after a long day with a sick baby. The house is a mess and he's eaten nothing more than blueberries and goldfish today (no appetite). Thanks for the reminder that my best is enough.

Anonymous said...

My daughter sent this to me for a birthday message. I have been truly blessed with two beautiful daughters who have come into their own adult lives ten-fold. God is Good and I am the fortunate ones to witness transformations of sweet babies to testing the teen years, now to precious beautiful young women inside and out. They see the beauty in giving and tolerance, learning lessons daily as their mom continues to do. Thank you for this blog.

Unknown said...

God has Blessed You with Yet Another child & even though nothing can take the place of the one you lost, let that child's spirit help to carry you through each day in a positive way. Knowing that their spirit never really dies. Every time you think of them or mention them say thank you for coming to visit today, & give me a lift. I know this helped me when I lost someone close, & it made me feel like they were still with me in Spirit. I pray for strength for you. God Bless you & your Family.

Unknown said...

AMEN! I wish I could Stop thinking & wondering what other people think of me & my home! The problem is every time I try I'm reminded by my fiancé & family members of the "proper" way things should be done around here. So, once again I'm left to feel criticized & overwhelmed because truly there's Not enough of me to go around! Between working 36hr nights 1 hr away, & taking care of all my own health needs, I want & need to spend time with my 9 yo, so that usually prevails over the housework. I do try to keep up on NY days off. Thanks for affirming that I don't have to be perfect.

Unknown said...

God has Blessed You with Yet Another child & even though nothing can take the place of the one you lost, let that child's spirit help to carry you through each day in a positive way. Knowing that their spirit never really dies. Every time you think of them or mention them say thank you for coming to visit today, & give me a lift. I know this helped me when I lost someone close, & it made me feel like they were still with me in Spirit. I pray for strength for you. God Bless you & your Family.

Anonymous said...

It might be enough, and I might be able to appreciate what I see in the mirror, if the spouse didn't insult, undermine, and sabotage so many of those things that encompass being a mom.

Being accused of stealing, of cheating, of being lazy and a leech, destroying what I just cleaned, telling me to shut up when I'm tired or when I'm having feelings (not being emotional, just having a human feeling), telling me I'm being manipulative when I want to cry, of screaming that life was better without me.

Without that, being a mom would be enough.

Anonymous said...

Well said...my daughter sent me this.....I hope she always remembers your words, for they are truly beautiful and perfect.

Anonymous said...

Enough...thank you for the reminder, the little things the little moments, they matter. So true!

Baby Angel said...

You have no idea how badly I needed to read this today.

Thank you

Lacey @ KV Organics said...

Love this, thank you. No time to write more (yup, I'm a mom!) - just thank you. ;)

Anonymous said...

So beautifully written, when my son was a baby I remember reading an article which said something to the effect of; new parents should put down the video camera and really absorb the moment.....it resonated with me and I made a point in those moments when I would have been videotaping to soak in every aspect of what was going on. The article used as an example how when you are rocking your baby you should make a conscious effort to feel his weight in your arms, listen to the sound he makes, breathe deeply the smell of his hair.....there was a night when my son was about 8 months old I did all of these things and to this day when I recall that moment the memory of his weight in my arms and his sweet smell is clear. Reading that article was a gift that I am so thankful for. I have videotapes of my boys but its never been of the big stuff.....it's dancing in underwear and washing bikes with soapy water......I have teenagers now and am a single Mom and parenting them has been the greatest blessing in my life. You really have one shot at raising good kids......being present for the little everyday issues is what builds a life......Jackie Kennedy had the greatest quote ever "if you bungle raising children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much". So put down the phone, put the girls night out on hold and enjoy your children.....they're grown in a blink.

Katie @ The Almost Vegan said...

Thank you so much for this! Such a beautiful reminder of what it means to be MOM!

Anonymous said...

Just perfect perfect words inspiring

Anonymous said...

As a step-father of three and one of my own. I am amazed by my wife everyday. I'm actually embarrassed that I am the one who is praised for "working" all day, while my wife just "stays" home to raise the kids. She feels she has to ask me for money because I'm supposedly the bread winner. Her job is a hundred times more exhaustive than mine ever is, even on a hard day. I hope there is a father out there who reads this and when they get home from work, kisses their wife, gives her a big hug and tells her to take a break. Go to a coffee shop, go for a walk around the lake... anything they want to do. How can you ask someone to work 7 days a week, 12-20 hours a day without a break? Even the unions know that's unsustainable!

Jennine Watson said...

Thank you. After my two year old spilt his apple juice on my newly mopped floor that's exactly what I needed to hear.

The Rainbow Zebra said...

Thank you....this is so beautiful! And it is this very reason why I am....floundering since my first child went off to college. Part of my job description is not here where I can hold her and tell her goodnight every night. It is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, drive off and leave my baby at the university.

I still have my 11yo son, middle school now, but he's even showing that sudden spurt of independence where I wonder...now what?

I'm taking a bit of a mental vacation while I catch up on my own "new normal"

Unknown said...

This brought tears to my eyes. I work hard at being a mom and wife and nothing else. My husband works to support us so that I can choose to be a full time mom and in this crazy world of too many accomplishments I opt out, but I wasn't sure how I felt about that decision. Reading this was beautiful and eye opening! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I am a 75 yr old greatgrandmother. My husband has a Master's Degree. I had one year of college. But my greatest accomplishment is my three beautiful children who are all college educated and have great families. My husband was in the military and many days it was all up to me. On two different tour he as gone for one full year. There was no extended family nearby the relieve me of a 24 hr. a day job....but I loved every minute of and have no regrets that I was there for my children. I feel that I did my job well and have lots to be proud of. You do not have to have a college degree or a great job to feel successful. Raising children
you are proud of is a great accomplishment in itself.

Anonymous said...

What about DADS?? More and more women are abandoning their kids and going to party - thanks, feminist movement! All my friends are dads who stepped up and trying to be mom and dad for our kids cause women are out cheating and partying.. it's a sad world and sites don't even give us credit AT ALL..!! So I just read articles like this and replace every "mom" with "dad" and keep trying to find a real women cause honestly there aren't many out there at least not in Cali..!! 8)

GAFlyGirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GAFlyGirl said...

You couldn't have said it better! this made me cry and was just what I needed to hear. thank you!!! I am a mom of 7 beautiful children who I love and adore but some days I feel like a failure because the house is a mess, or we didn't get my to do list finished. or..... or... or... THANK YOU, and thank you to the step father who commented about wives needing breaks and having hard jobs. what a beautiful comment and it made me cry too. lol

Donna said...

Yes, yes, and yes! This can never be said too many times. Grab those tender moments and don't let go. This is your prize.

Stacey said...

I really needed this post today. Thank you for sharing this inspirational message.

Unknown said...

Thank you for celebrating what is truly important & giving permission for all of us to recognize that we are enough.
www.postpartumwonderwoman.com

Pat LaChance Knode said...

Beautifully written from your heart. I wish I could go back to my mommy days and change a few things. I hope I didn't fail and let my children down. Now that they are grown and gone, my heart longs for those crazy days of mothering - of just being "Momma."

Unknown said...

thank you. just thank you.

Tiffany said...

Beautiful! This is so exactly perfect!

Unknown said...

THANK YOU! I needed this! Beautifully written and from the heart. Thank you thank you

dr spinster said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Barb said...

I am a grand-mom now. My daughters are in their 20s. I was at the beach with a house full of their friends -- special friends from childhood and we were talking about their childhood. What did they remember the most? Taking sandwiches to each other's houses for lunch, sleep-overs and lemon-ice at the beach. They remembered the silly song I sang as I put on their sun-tan lotion and the rhyming prayer I had made up and said to them all when they slept at my house. The simple things. That is what they remember, what I remember, the simple times when we shared life.

Yes, I agree looking back, being a mom is enough. It is all that matters. It is that simple daily love and caring that spreads the love and life over generations since Eve. It is good, essential, wondrous even though oh, so hard at times. Looking back, worth it. Hang in there moms! when it is over, you will want to go back. Really!

Maniladad said...

As an anonymous commenter pointed out, the one filling the role of mom is sometimes a man, in my case a step-grandfather of four, beginning with the oldest 10 years ago, then the others when they were ages 1 through 3. They're now 7 through 12. To all the usual challenges of a mom, add those that arise with age and you'll understand why my refrain is "Now I know why God gave children to young people." Still age does provide experience and I recognized early on what a blessing they are and I've done my best to do as you wrote, to be there for them with hugs and laptime, reading stories and all the rest. And like the first-time mothers and the working mothers and the rest of the sisterhood, I still worry that I'm neglecting the quiet one, too critical to the oldest one, too harsh with the sensitive one, too permissive with the sweet one and on and on. The demands of the role of mom are high, the pay is awful, the hours are long and inconvenient but even with these and all the other challenges the ancillary benefits make it all worthwhile.

Robbie K said...

Perfect. Can we give it to every new mom before they are discharged from the hospital?

Anonymous said...

My mom married my dad who was a widower with 5 kids. Soon she had a baby girl of her own. she was barely 17 years old with six kids and a husband who was often away in the navy. she raised her step kids like her own and even had three more of her own. she didn't have a lot but i think she did fantastic with what she had!

Emily said...

As I am planning my daughter's first birthday that's in a few weeks, I really needed to read this today! I am keeping things simple and focusing on family--not outdoing other friends who came before me. The memories are what will matter to me, not the size of the cake or the amount of decorations. Thank you!!

three apples four said...

Thank you for posting this. This was just beautiful to read and appreciate. Mothering is constant, unseen and a lot of hard work but there are so many beautiful and inspiring moments throughout the day that get us through!

Kim said...

I think I'm going to take a walk with my daughter today. Or, maybe tickle her every time she asks me too. Yeah! I think I'll do that.

Shonna said...

It IS enough! Beautifully put.
Shonna

www.yourapronstrings.com

Rachel @ Finding Joy said...

I am simply humbled and blessed by all of your comments. Thank you. They are all so encouraging, but more than that, they are a celebration of motherhood. Grateful to stand with all of you moms (And dads) in this parenting journey.

Rachel

Stacie said...

Thank you! Needed this reminder today :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you - this has me sobbing, it's just what I needed to hear at a moment when it feels like no one else is empathizing.

J. E. Campbell said...

I only counted to three. Saved time.

Alecia said...

I saw this linked up on Facebook last night and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I tried to be supermom with a career and now I'm home due to an illness and I've been trying again to be supermom and my kids are driving me crazy and out of control. It's because I'm trying to be supermom and not stopping to enjoy my kids and those little moments that will be gone way to soon. Thank you for posting this and I plan to link to it during my 31 day challenge next month where I'm talking about some of these things.

RocĂ­o Miranda said...

Hello! i trino just like you. People should care about little important things that forms a new person. Little details. Big work. Congratulations, you touched my hearth, you put in words what I feel everyday since I'm a mom. i also have a blog: www.unrayoenmicabeza.wordpress.com thank you.

Unknown said...

Beautifully put.

samantha said...

OMG...thank you! Now that you've made me cry at work. LOL. This is so amazingly well put. I felt every part of what you said to the heart. I'm a working mom, so I have limited time with my 2 boys, 4 & 6. I constantly have that guilt in the back of my mind that I wish I could be there for them more. When I am with them, I feel like there are so many things to get done and not enough time to do them that I don't cherish the moments. But at the same time, after reading your post, I am doing that. I'm being a mom wholeheartedly. I'm cooking, cleaning, bathing, brushing teeth, reading bedtime stories, taking to the park, etc, etc, etc. I do do alot, and I know they appreciate everything I do. I think we moms spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others instead of realizing what you are doing is so important. We are laying the foundation that our children will take with them for the rest of their lives!

dig this chick said...

"The things that don't get celebrated on Pinterest that much."

YES.

love this mama.

Buckeye Mommy said...

Thank you for this. <3

Carol Boyle, Newtown, PA said...

Thank you for acknowledging a real mom. I've always said "There isn't a textbook for Mom's" and "There should be a book about warning young Mom's not to jump in lightly". The fact is, we all lose ourselves in our day to day world and sometimes don't chose the best choice, or we miss something that was right in front our nose. We need to take a step back and truly enjoy our Blessings. So what about the laundry. So what about the dishes. So what about being perfectly together. I have worked from home a long time, and continue to do so.
When I tried to go back to work PT out of the house, they hated that I wasn't home as much. So, I quit. My kids wanted me home! ;-) My kids are 12 and 15 now and I really miss the long hugs and cuddles and watching TV together. The giggles we would have while reading in bed. Thank you for giving me these words at a time that I thought I could possibly lose it the next time I was sitting in the hallway (yes, the bedtime drama doesn't end, it just gets later). xo

Shanda said...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Life can get so overwhelming and at times you can wonder what you do it all for. Reading this helps me to remember what it IS all for. For being a mom. You are SO right we are enough. I cried the whole way through your post as all the things you said are things I feel daily. Thank you again for these amazing words.

Anonymous said...

Couldnt have said it better better! Thank you.

Anonymous said...

the stress is just wearing me out that i often miss to appreciate the good things & blessings (my kids) in life. thanks for this article...never too late to change our perspective.

E.G. Moore said...

Divinely timed, perfectly put. Thank you for this!

Anonymous said...

Could not described it better what my wife has done and is still doing.
Now imagine all of this shared with a father and a husband and you know why is worth not only to be a parent but also to be a couple.

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