When Fantasy Becomes Reality

Photo by Denis Khuisov

Everyone has a fantasy, there's no point in denying it. Just like there's no point in denying that we masturbate, claiming that's only something for the misters. Get real! I'm a woman and I masturbate. I love nothing more than some alone time, delving into the deepest, darkest corner of my mind and digging out the craziest fantasy I can conjure to get me off. I have a variety of sure fire imaginings that guarantee me the Big O: sensual Shibari, sex with a stranger, getting the spanking of a lifetime. The list goes on and on. Yet there's one fantasy that has always brought me to climax faster and harder than any other. 

Sex with another woman.

Yep, getting naked and playful with other women turns me on. But as far as fantasies go sapphic sex is actually deemed pretty vanilla, non?

So what happens when the fantasy is no longer enough and you're suddenly faced with the opportunity to turn fantasy into reality? Do you say fuck it and jump straight in, knowing that you only get one shot at this life and there's no time for regrets?

Damn right!

I never intended to turn my same-sex fantasy into a same-sex reality, but one evening I had an offer I just couldn't refuse. Like a nervous college girl on a first date I met with a woman. We kissed. We touched. We fucked. We talked a bit and laughed a lot. And then we kissed and touched and fucked some more.

That night, though now buried deep in the past, bore so much positivity to my outlook, not only within my relationship, but in friendships and general attitude towards life also. It taught me to be more open to new experiences, which I have taken on board and have now had the pleasure of spending time with some amazing women. I've formed friendships with a deeper level of connection, friendships that keep me happy, grounded and whole.

Photo courtesy of Aurore Érotique

But with the positives, also come the negatives. The first time I kissed a girl I could laugh it off, everyone has a cheeky same-sex snog with a gal pal at some point, right? But does everyone end up in bed with her? I had to come to terms with a truth that was previously hidden, remaining dormant until someone came along and shook it awake. It took a while, but I came to terms with the fact that I had sex with a woman, that I enjoyed it, and that I wanted to do it again. Does this mean I'm a lesbian? No. I crave the touch of a man, his scent, his kiss, his cock, just as sometimes I crave the gentler touch of a woman.

Perhaps it means I'm bisexual, but honestly I'd rather not label myself as anything at all. The past I've had and the life I live cannot be defined by labels or academic terminology. I experience people if those people are worthy of my time. And each experience, I like to believe, happened because those people deemed me worthy enough of their time. To share another person, a kiss, a body, a bed, a night of passion and experimentation and love is only ever fulfilling when trust and respect exist that the core of that experience. Pin down the person who deserves both your trust and your respect and you have the makings of a pretty amazing experience.

Turning a fantasy into reality can sometimes lead to disappointment, with reality not nearly as pleasurable as how it played out in your head. But sometimes, just sometimes, you get lucky and despite the good, the bad, and the ugly, one thing remains the same: making love to another woman remains my all time favourite sexual fantasy. What's yours?

No, I Did Not Wet the Bed!

Photo courtesy of aurore érotique

A few weeks ago Liv challenged me to write about squirting--female ejaculation. The truth is, I don't know what to write about it. It's an amazing sensation, one that I've described elsewhere, but it's one that many women never achieve, despite intense desire and focused practice on trying to make the elusive squirt happen.

Squirting doesn't necessarily make sex better. It makes it wetter, and for some, wetter is definitely better. It makes it messy, and messy isn't always desirable. And for some women it can be embarrassing, especially with a new partner.

I didn't always have the ability to ejaculate, and I don't do it every time we have sex. Sometimes I go through long stretches with nothing at all, and then I'll hit a period where it happens almost every time. One of the dangers, if I may go so far, of pursuing ejaculation if you've never experienced it before is the potential pressure it can put on a woman and her partner. When there are high s-expectations about anything in the bedroom, there is always the chance for disappointment. I'm not telling you anything new there, but with those enhanced expectations can come a sense of shame and failure when the hoped-for event fails to materialize.

I never pursued ejaculation; it was simply something that happened to me one day after a long, enjoyable, and thoroughly satisfying afternoon delight with my husband. Sometimes after doing the deed I enjoy some additional stimulation. I always have, but that one afternoon the outcome was completely unexpected and, to be brutally honest, it freaked my shit out. I mean, I'd known about squirting, but having owned this body for more than a couple decades, it blew me away that it could just pop up with a new party trick no one had ever seen before.

I wish I had a photo that captured the look of shock on both our faces. We were utterly stunned and froze for a second, not completely understanding what was going on. And then we laughed our asses off. Had that happened with a new partner I feel certain that I'd have been mortified, especially since some people still believe that female ejaculation is just pee she can't hold in any longer. It's not. I suspect that most women with healthy bladders and Kegel muscles don't pee in bed involuntarily.

Women have written to me asking how to achieve squirting. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I have any especially helpful answers. The only recipe I know is to be exceptionally aroused (preferably post-fuck), know the location of your g-spot and be open to intense stimulation of it, and be able to let go completely with your partner. Starting on your own, with intense g-spot and clitoral stimulation together may help, too. But the real advice? Don't force it. Don't force anything when it comes to pleasure and sex. Just fucking enjoy it when it happens.

Photographers We Love

Introducing Balthazar...

Every once in a while you stumble across someone who just captivates you, whether it be with their prose, their art, or, as with the man of this blog post, their wonderful imagery. Feast your eyes on these!

Copyright of Balthazar 

Copyright of Balthazar 

Copyright of Balthazar 

Pretty delicious, right? 

These three photos have never been shown online before and are from a very special never before seen collection of Balthazar's, forming part of the series used only for his Dirty Photo Subscription project, meaning that we (and you guys) are privileged enough to have been given a sneaky peek into a collection far vaster and dirtier than I dare depict on Tongue Tied! 

We've been a fan of The Imaginary Sailor, Sometimes Photographer's work for a couple of years now and were lucky enough to steal some of his time to find out more about the man and the mind behind the lens. 

Q. Why photography and why the erotic persuasion?

A. Honestly, I always tell people that I got a decent camera about 5 years ago so I could take better dirty photos of my girlfriend (now wife). That was really the extent to my ambitions. She is my muse and I wouldn't be taking photos if I hadn't found her. One thing has led to another since then, but my ambitions are not much different. Women inspire me and that's why I photograph them. I'm curious about people and their inner lives.

Q. Tell me more about the 'Request a letter and a Polaroid  project and what the driver behind its inception was.

A. My first love, long before photography, was writing. It finally dawned on me a few years ago that my ideal medium for writing was the letter. The whole idea of the letter as this intimate communication to an audience of one frees me in a way that I don't find anywhere else. At first I decided I'd just let anyone request a letter from me and then a short while later I started taking Polaroids and then it occurred to me that it was the perfect combination: a letter and a Polaroid. Both are one-of-a-kind, non-reproducible, intimate objects. It's perhaps the only good idea I've ever had. I think the letters and Polaroids are my best work.

Q. I love the rawness of the images you create. Is the shooting of the scenes just as raw or more fabricated than the images lead us to believe?

A. It depends, but in general I'm shooting friends or people I know and while there's some set-up (lights, etc.), the scene itself is usually organic. For example, with the photos of couples I am very much in the background and there is no direction or interference from me. I'm most comfortable trying to find the moments as they happen rather than orchestrating them. 

Q. So, who is Balthazar and what does the future hold?

A. Ask me in 50 years. Until then I'm still exploring both of those things and haven't a clue. Five years ago I wasn't taking photos. This summer my wife and I are moving to Brooklyn and that is bound to bring many changes. Firstly, at last, I'll be near the ocean and I know that's going to bring good things. 

Piqued your curiosity? Whetted your appetite for more erotic imagery? Want more of this sensual filth? Find out more about the Letter Project and the Dirty Photo Subscription over at CallMeBalthazar.com.

A Sexy Chat with Sarah Jayne of Unbound

Psst, go check out our first installment!

If you're a woman and you haven't been living under a rock or in North Korea for the last couple of years, you might have noticed the proliferation of subscription sample boxes filled with luxurious products. But just in case you've been swinging with Kim Jong Un and missed out, these sample boxes are a cost-effective and thoughtfully curated way to try a number of quality products that you might not otherwise know existed. Smart idea, great design concept, and perfect for a gal who wants to try a bevy of products for a home spa night, right?

So what if the chic product box contained custom-written erotica, a carefully chosen intimate pleasure device (ummm, sex toy), and other delightful tidbits to get your erotic juices flowing, and was delivered to your doorstep every quarter? And as an added bonus you also had access to creative playlists of lust-inspiring music, a Q&A with women who love exploring sex and sensuality as much as you do, and more wonderful free features? That exists in reality, and it's called Unbound.

Last week Liv and I debuted a feature over on the Unbound site called Ask Livia & Liza where we answer questions submitted to the lovely girls at Unbound, and we thought it would be fun to interview our editor Sarah Jayne and find out more about how they developed the concept and why it's billed as "an intimate revolution." We posed a series of questions to her, and she got back to us with the following. We think you'll love Unbound as much as we do! And hey, if you have a question for Livia and Liza, pop it in the comments and we'll see about tending to it on Unbound!

A snippet of erotica offered on the site.

Why Unbound, why sex and why now?

We're trying to pull it all together into one place to create a very open, honest and upbeat conversation and retail environment. A space that sort of breaks the rules that currently divide sexuality, intellect and femininity into separate groups. We want a place where a dominatrix and a PhD science writer both have a voice (and who's to say its not the same gal anyways?) We want it hot, informative, sex positive and welcoming of all types. Why now? I'll speak to my own involvement since I am sure my cofounders have their own reasons (besides free lube). For me, I am a feminist. I have always had a strong interest and involvement in promoting women's sexual health and wellness. I want to encourage women to take an active, engaged and informed role in their sexuality while creating a better cultural and social environment for it to thrive. Women need to feel as if "this sort of thing" is not shameful, negative or unacceptable if we want to be successful.


As a woman meeting your typical demographic, why should I come to Unbound for sexual and erotic info and exploration rather than say, my local sex shop or the host of other sex sites that already exist in the realms?
One of our biggest goals is to bridge the erotic industry and the modern gal. This is the woman that gives a damn about the products she uses, whether its lipstick or fair trade coffee and values good design when it comes to her everyday life. There's a pretty big gap that exists there now- most erotic products still arrive in cheap plastic blister packaging with an 80's style bikini clad gal and you think, "is this even attempting to get my attention, let alone get me off?" We're championing good products that "get it" and get you off. Products that are designed well and have a conscientious side to the materials they use. We're also very keen on staying "partner agnostic." On the site and when it comes to whats in the box. It's important to us to not exist in the heteronormative assumption that our box customers or visitors to the site are just straight couples looking to "spice things up." Maybe you have a boyfriend, maybe you have a girlfriend, maybe you've got one of each or maybe you've been single for ages (and like it that way, thankyouverymuch). It's no problem, sex isn't the goal anyways- pleasure and discovery is and that can be reached whether you've got a sack mate or not. Not everything we put out may not be your bag but it might be worth trying once or twice anyways to find out. We want to bring everything to the table, as long as it's good and hot.


Stripping back all the glitter and jazz of Unbound, what is the fundamental element that lies at the core of your 'mission'?
To create conscious sexuality. Not just sex: pleasure. Not just sexy: sexual. Being more than just a web based magazine is important to us too. We want to be competing in the retail space as well; selling products that we genuinely care for with a context to them. We're not experts, nor do we claim to be. Hell, we're still figuring our own sexuality out to be experts on anyone else's. I guess the mission in a way is to promote and encourage collective, thoughtful and positive discovery. We think sex and discovery is a very positive aspect of a woman's life at any age and we want to make it compelling and easy for her to do so.


How do you come up with the topics for each quarter's box and content?
My fellow lady founders and I have what we call Vcon (Vagina Convention more or less) in which we like to essentially eat and drink (probably junk, mostly booze) and just muse about the topics and products we want to explore. We listen to our friends and other women we chat with and take their curiosities into strong consideration as well. We're not just creating an SJ, Greer and Katie fantasy box- these are ideas and themes that women of all sexual orientations and appetites will enjoy exploring. The online content follows the product selection in a fairly organic way. There's always good discussion to be had...


What's the most outrageous thing/product/idea you've ever pitched for the site or the box, and did it (or will it) make it?

Check out some product reviews, too.

I still hoping my request for 2 pallets of Sex Cereal will be fulfilled. I could eat cereal out of a punch bowl so I'm dying to write about it. It's a good industry for strange and exciting product. While some things sound outrageous and exciting, often times things can come across outrageous and bogus. We definitely enjoy the experience of trying products that have lofty claims or a strange premise. Frankly, we're down for trying it all- the weird, the good, the silly and we encourage that in others, too. In a way, every vibrator in the world might have the chance to be someone's favorite. We're not going to knock something we deem a "bad" product just because it doesn't light us up. We'll explain what you might like and why it's worth trying. If it's downright awful--because let's face it some flavored lube is gross--it just won't go on the site, and certainly not into the box. We feel very strongly about things remaining positive and upbeat on the site and in the box.


How can we help inspire other women to join the conversation we're having about sex, sensuality, and desire?
I hate to say "normalize" it. Normal is such a weird word to use when discussing sex. The last thing we are trying to do is take the excitement out of sex by making it something that's so mainstream and homogenized that it barely gets people aroused. However, we do believe that sex, and more importantly, women's sexuality ought to be understood, encouraged and accepted more openly. When you hear that simply saying the word "vagina" can get you barred in a state legislature, something isn't being addressed. It's being stifled. And a message isn't being received. Women need to feel comfortable and secure in exploring their sexuality and desires and to have fully and unfettered agency over their bodies. It can be done in a way that's modern and provocative. We think a site that honors all orientations and a quarterly box that provides a high concept introduction to new experiences is a good start. But the conversation really starts after that...

e[lust] #45

Photo courtesy of CreativNooky

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #46? Start with the newly updated rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~



Bringing Toxic Sex Toy Facts Out of the Attic

How Do I Get My Wife to Dominate Me?

I Need This



~ Featured Posts (Molly’s Picks) ~

Speaking the unspeakable

#safetytipsforladies



All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Want an Orgasm? Be Selfish.

Over the last week or so I've seen many references to an article about the orgasm gap between men and women. The headline caught my attention: the real reason women get off less than men. That sent my head spinning just a bit, since it's pretty clear that women, on average, have a much shorter refractory period post-orgasm than men, allowing us the opportunity to indulge in multiples in short order.

Photo courtesy of Don't I Wish

The issue, somewhat unsurprisingly, has almost nothing to do with anatomy and everything to do with how comfortable women feel with their partners. According to the research, college women in relationships have nearly 7 times more orgasms with their partners than college women hooking up with a dude for the first time. But here's the frustrating fact: even those who have achieved relationship "status" are not having orgasms during partnered sex as frequently as their (male) partners do.

In the study, the researchers explored the variety of sexual activities the subjects participated in. Their findings showed that when a woman experienced oral sex, vaginal intercourse and clitoral self-stimulation in the same encounter, her likelihood of orgasm reached parity with her (male) partner's.

Rather than pegging the orgasm to anatomical issues (though it's shocking that 35% of women apparently don't know where their clits are located), the report found that the key factor in whether women reached orgasm as frequently as their partners was how invested the pair were in the woman's pleasure. And of course, how comfortable they were with each other to do all the things it apparently takes to get there.

Keeping in mind that the study subjects were college students, I wonder to what extent maturity and comfort with one's body and desires played into the results. While college kids seem like ideal subjects because they a) have a lot of sex (or the freedom to have a lot of sex), and b) they may be more likely to have more hookups than the average adult, they are relatively new to the whole experience of communicating openly about sex. That's not to say that adults with a few more years of hookups or relationships behind them are any better at the whole communication ballgame, but they might have the advantage of knowing what it really takes to get off with a new partner and the courage to make sure it happens more often than not.

I'm curious to hear from those who are more experienced with hookups than I am, or at least, more recently experienced. Does the nature of the hookup, in your opinion, encourage a greater focus on the man's pleasure and almost none on the woman's? And what's holding women back from being a bit selfish early on and asking for what they need to get off?

My recent experience, which is definitely non-hookup-y and all relationship-y, says that women have more orgasms than men, and sometimes men get a little cranky and jealous about that. What say you to that?

Honest Sex Talk

Photo courtesy of  Aurore Érotique

A recent conversation with a friend of mine about sex in long term relationships, and specifically marriage, has me thinking about my own current sex life. By conversation I mean Liza's last post on Tongue Tied. Creatively titled 'How to be Good in Bed' (*wink*) this post suggests that we all have the tools to be good in bed, and the hindrance we face is usually something within ourselves. Yep, that old 'you are your own worst enemy' chestnut.

I believe myself to be a prime example of this. No matter how much I want sex, there is something that is stopping me from taking the plunge. I have an issue with each of the ten suggestions on Liza's list, a personal issue that stops me from filling the brief. So I've set myself a challenge. 

After lapping up each of her 'thoughts on how to up your game' I've set myself a task - to put said suggestions into practice in a quest to get laid. I don't just mean your bog-standard-run-of-the-mill-same-old-same-old-comfortable-coupledom sex. No, I mean throw-me-down-bend-me-over-and-fuck-me-in-front-of-the-mirror kinda sex.

New sex. 

Exciting sex.

Blah, who am I kidding...any sex!

Whether or not this is possible after being with someone for ten years I am yet to learn, though according to the likes of Liza B it's certainly possible. Whenever I think that perhaps I am the one in the wrong, that I am not enough of a wife, of a woman, I read a post like this and realise that I am not the only person in the world to have suffered a lull in their libido. And there's the crux, my desire for sex has diminished and therefore of course I'm going to be having less of it. But despite this plateau I do still want sex. I do still crave it.

Liza's list of encouragement is superb, but I'd still like to hear of any further suggestions to up the ante and get all parties comfortable and excited in the bedroom again. Have any tricks of the trade? Throw them my way, people!

My name is Livia Bryant and I want sex. 

My name is Livia Bryant and I am going to fuck!

How to Be Good in Bed

'Fuck for Me Tonight' courtesy of Balthazar

Being good in bed, it's more an art than a science, amirite? And defining "good in bed" is a bit like defining obscenity--you know it when you see it/taste it/feel it. No matter if you're straight, gay, somewhere else on the continuum, vanilla, poly, kinky, or a virgin, everyone has the tools to be good in bed. How you kiss, touch, fuck, and more might not be to every partner's liking, but here are a few thoughts on ways to up your game.

1) Be decisive.
Know what you want from your experience and be willing to share it with your partner. While an enthusiastic verbal assent might seem goofy, use your words. Don't limit your communication to grunts and touches. Giving and getting pleasure takes some explicit action and more than a muffled "uh-huh, yeah baby."

2) Take it slow.
Slow can be sensual, rough, intense, teasing, mellow, hot, and anything else you want it to be. Whatever you're doing, find a way to extend the pleasure you're giving to your partner. If she likes it rough, explore different ways to manhandle her. If you know she enjoys a spanking, consider exploring different ways of burnishing her bottom, working up from an open-palmed smack to a crop or a paddle. Time can be on your side when you want to increase the sensuality of an experience.

3) Create anticipation.
This is different from building expectations, which can sometimes result in misunderstandings when expectations fail to align. Instead, find ways to communicate your erotic imaginings to your partner. Leave a naughty note in an unexpected place. Work up the courage to send a suggestive (or explicit) sext. Find beautiful images that express things you want to try or remind you of previous experiences. Use these elements to spark your partner's imagination and libido.

4) Be safe.
Take care of yourself. Be healthy. Use birth control and condoms. Be honestly concerned about your partner's health and do your utmost to keep him or her safe. Choose a safe word or use the red/yellow/green system to keep things in check. Being prepared is smart and sexy.

5) Be vulnerable.
Allow yourself to be open to experimentation and open to suggestions. Feeling nervous and apprehensive is pretty much par for the course when you're naked with somebody new. But don't let nervous giggles keep you from trying something when the thought of it makes your nipples hard and gives you excited goosebumps. And then let your partner know how fucking good it felt to let your guard down and try something new. And if something your partner desperately wants to try runs up against your hard limits, open it for discussion but be true to yourself.

6) Be enthusiastic.
When you clearly want to fuck your partner, to make him or her feel good, that enthusiasm is palpable and even contagious.

7) Know yourself.
Know your pleasure spots. If you don't know how to get yourself off, it's going to be hard to help a partner get to know your body. Likewise, know your hard limits. Is anal really not your thing? That's OK. Don't do something that makes you feel uncomfortable or crosses your hard lines.

8) Be empathetic.
But don't ask you partner "is that OK?" every 5 seconds! Sometimes, despite our best intentions, stuff we're doing in bed just isn't working for the other person. It's not necessarily a reflection on you--that particular activity just may not suit the mood, or maybe it feels too intense (or not intense enough). Likewise, if you're the one asking your partner to stop and recalibrate, be cool about it and let them know that you're still game for something else.

9) Have fun!
Sometimes we take sex soooooo seriously. Getting naked with another person can be a huge step, fraught with anxiety, when it's just a really fucking awesome way to have super free and naked playdate. I'm not saying skip the loving tenderness or deep, soulful looks into your partner's eyes. Do those things, by all means. But don't forget that sex is about pleasure and pleasure is fun.

10) Be passionate.
Focus on your partner, explore and find out what gets them off, and bring a red-hot intensity to the proceedings. Find ways to express your passion that sync with your partner's needs. If you and she/he are verbally or aurally stimulated, use some filthy hot words to express your excitement (note: at the right moment, words of passion whispered in my husband's ear make him come like a fucking train). If you're both more physically inclined, get back to those sexy soulful looks, or maybe a nip and a strategic smack on the ass will make your point.

Ten always seems like the right, round number for these sorts of lists, but it seems I forgot an important item. Learn. To. Kiss. I can remember all the really good kissers I've ever kissed, and not one of them was a letdown in the bedroom.

Alright, friends. Go forth and fuck and be divine in bed!

I Touch Myself!

Photo courtesy of Don't I Wish

I want to get serious for a moment, so if you're after a nice easy read full of sex and fluff, hit the 'back' button and go in search of porn instead. Today I'm going to discuss an issue that's been weighing heavy on my heart for the past twenty years. One that has had impacted significantly on all facets of life, and perhaps most crucially, my sexual relationships.

Body Dysmorphia. BDD.

The American Psychiatric Association's DSM-IV describes BDD as a "Preoccupation with a specific body part and the belief that this body part is deformed or defective. The preoccupation is significantly excessive and causes distress or significant impairment in functioning. It is not better explained by another disorder such as dissatisfaction with body shape in anorexia or delusions associated with a psychotic disorder."

Mine? My thighs.

Good intentions. . .bad results!

Photo courtesy of Don't I Wish

Or should that be bad intentions. . .good results?!

I had good intentions, truly I did, yet when I sat down to write a post following on from my last about the dangers of intimacy, this came out: -

I wasn't expecting what he had planned. I didn't see his arm as it snaked around my waist and up my back. I didn't notice his hand as it roughly grasped my hair and twisted it into a knot at the nape of my neck. But I felt it as he firmly eased me down onto the bed, kissing me with fervor - staking his claim - before flipping me over and pressing me into the hard mattress.

e[lust] #44

Photo courtesy of Plumptious Pea

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #45? Start with the newly updated rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~


Everyday D/s

Honesty sometimes feels like manipulation

Blood, life, sex



~ Featured Posts (Molly’s Picks) ~

Grief and Sex

Bringing Others into a Dom/Sub Relationship



All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

No Sex Ed + No Women's Healthcare= ...

Love this smart way to tuck a condom
in your bag!

I hail from one of the great states that requires abstinence-only sex education in public schools. A state that not only does this, but outsources the abstinence-only programs to contractors whose programs have been found provide inaccurate information. In 2004 the Texas State Board of Education adopted textbooks that lacked any accurate information about contraception or preventing STDs. This is slowly starting to change, but the vast majority of students in Texas receive an abstinence-only until marriage message about sex education.

A couple of weeks ago Salon reported on the results of the substantial cuts Texas made to the Women's Health Program, which provides health services to low-income women, and they aren't good. In 2011 the Texas legislature cut $73 million from family planning programs and women's health services. When it did that, the state forfeited the $30 million in federal Medicaid funds that also funded those programs. At the time there was a lot of rhetoric about the need to defund abortion providers (i.e. Planned Parenthood), and sadly "abortion provider" was found to be equivalent to "women's health provider" since Planned Parenthood was the primary provider of services in the Women's Health Program. Nota bene: most Planned Parenthoods in Texas do not offer abortions, and none of the ones providing the Women's Health Program services did.

Two years later, what are the results? From the Salon piece, italics mine:

The Health and Human Services Commission has projected that, because of funding cuts, unplanned pregnancies in Texas will add $273 million in costs to taxpayers. The Texas Legislative Budget Board also estimated that the cuts would lead to 284,000 women losing family planning services, resulting in 20,000 additional unplanned births at a cost upward of $200 million.

If I understand everything, the numbers above are projections for 2014-2015. It now appears that the legislature is poised to put $100 million back into the budget to fund the Women's Health Program, but it's fairly clear that Planned Parenthood will not be brought back into the fold. Mother Jones has a nice visual piece on this issue from which I stole the following graph:

Others have explained this issue better than I'm able to, for example, The New York Times. As a woman, as a taxpayer, and as a human being I find the situation in Texas frustrating and demoralizing. I am very glad that there are steps underway to repair some of the damage. But the anti-education, anti-woman, and anti-choice decisions that the legislature continues to adopt put the health of millions at risk.

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to hear an overview of the programs another country has in place for sex education, access to contraception for minors, and access to healthcare services and sexual health services for poorer people. I sat there open-mouthed, occasionally gasping like a fish out of water. After decades of uphill battles to provide greater access to information and healthcare services, it sometimes feels like, in Texas at least, all we're doing is backsliding.

For all my indignation I feel pretty powerless. I can write to or call my representative. Fortunately, he thinks like I do. And sadly, we're both in the minority.