Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Christmas Experiment 2013 Hour 17+18: Celebrity Christmas Crap

So, celebrities do Christmas specials sometimes or stuff like that. Let's look at a couple.

Lady Gaga & The Muppets' Holiday Spectacular: Apparently Gaga loves the Muppets. Considering she made a dress out of severed Kermit heads, I think they got the wrong idea. Regardless, they're doing a special together so let's see if anyone gets dismembered for a felt and foam leotard.

Literally the gayest thing ever.
First off, Gaga sings "Venus" with the Muppets. She has giant hair. She might be the twin of Sweetums. There are going to be a lot of pictures in this one considering Gaga's tendency towards crazy outfits. Also, because I think Gaga might secretly be a Muppet.

Kristen Bell pops up. She's excited to be with Gaga. Piggy is in the background. My gay meter just blew up. There is nothing about this that I'm not loving right now.

Muppets audition for the special. Some it is almost creepy.

Gaga sings Applause in a jumpsuit that might be made out of mirror ball.

Correction, Elton John and Gaga might be the gayest thing ever. Singing Benny and the Jets... err... Gaga and the Jets. Gaga is back in her fright wig. As a little monster, I'm not going to... Gaga just put on a pair of glasses made from the pop tops on Soda cans. Okay... that I might have to criticize. This transitions into a performance of ARTpop with the Muppets in the foreground dancing. I'm starting to think the majority of the Muppets involvement is these little sketches and dancing in the foreground.

Gaga gathers the Muppets to plot out the finale. Kristen Bell proposes puppets. I still love you Kristen. This all goes no where. The Swedish Chef proposes something. I always find it weird when the Swedish Chef has human hands out of nowhere. Nothing comes of this sketch.

Gaga's back in the fright wig and wearing Flannel and some weird goggles. I wonder if she's cosplaying as a lumberjack now? Gaga, lumberjack's tend to wear pants. Gaga and Kermit perform Gypsy which might be the best song on ARTpop.

Kristen Bell and Gonzo bond over losing consciousness after just down a ton of Sugar.

Gaga and Joseph Gordon Levitt perform Baby It's Cold Outside with Gaga in the masculine role. I don't like this song normally but then you have Joseph Gordon Levitt. I mean... mmmm. Followed by Kristen Bell and that one bear puppet who's name I can't remember. They dance together, teaching each other to dance. It's cute.

Correction, GAYEST THING EVER!
Then Gaga starts singing Fashion... and then RuPaul shows up. You know what I said earlier about those two other things being the gayest thing ever? No, take it back. This is the gayest thing EVER!!! Like, I'm a gay man and I do believe there may not be a gayer thing ever. We can all pack up our stuff and stop trying. Never again will there be a gayer thing to exist in the history of the universe. All other gayness will be forgotten!

Piggy performs Santa Baby. Santa Baby is one of those songs that get over done. But anything is better than Madonna's version. Then again, a pickaxe to the left temple is better than Madonna's version of Santa Baby. Piggy gets overshadowed by her background singers. Understandable. Background singers can be the worst.

At the end, Applause gets performed together with all the Muppets with outtakes.  Overall, I've seen worse star studded celebrity specials but that's just me. It could be much worse anyway.  Too bad there weren't more Muppets.

The Hollywood Squares: The 80s version. Most of the people here I don't recognize though Joan Rivers is the center square. Also, the contestants are kids this time. Thus, the questions are embarrassingly easy. Also, one of the kids is not even remotely playing well. Seriously, just going for random spaces on the board. It's a very one sided game. Then again, I've played Tic Tac Toe way too often.

The kid who wins gets a computer so there's that.

Non-Viewing Thoughts: Ever watch an older TV program and realize how many people in the credits are probably dead or can't get work anymore?

Late Christmas Ideas: I got to use Roommate Yogi's antennae today. I realize I wouldn't mind having one so I didn't have to goo through more grey areas to view TV shows as they air.

Notable Commercials: There is a... truly bizarre commercial for a House of Guitars with women dancing in fur bikinis while Santa shreds on a guitar badly. I... that might be more bizarre than anything on Gaga.

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 10
Amps left: 2
Cups of Coffee Drunk: 1
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2 left.
Sanity Rating: (1 being Aging with Grace, 10 being doing anything to remain in the spotlight):4

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