-
I Was Tired
I was tired. My mind not so much. People kept coming to me. I needed a break. Many did not want to or care to understand. They used guilt and responsibility to get their way. You should be this way, it’s your responsibility to act like that. You should be thankful, you should be happy, you should be sad, you should be…. People’s expectations of others were overflowing onto me.
I actually thought it would be better for me if they didn’t exist. Please don’t piss me off, I don’t want to be blamed later if you get sick. It was always me and my negative thoughts that caused your sickness, correct? Just because I thought many would be better off if you didn’t exist? I actually think that. I really just want to get away from you. I didn’t want to wish you illness, I wanted you to be a better person. I didn’t think saying “I wish people got what they deserve”, would actually work. Maybe I should stop saying that because for sure I’m never ready to see it play out.
