The 25 Most Annoying Types of People On Facebook

From the guy who is always fishing for compliments to the acquaintance who checks in everywhere he goes, here are the 25 most maddening “friends” you’ll find on Facebook. They’re the reason Mark Zuckerberg created an unfollow button. 

Related: The Better Man Project—2,000+ Tips and Hacks for Being More Awesome

The friend who copies and pastes those Facebook privacy statements is the same guy who links to “Breaking Bad is coming back for another season!” news stories. 

We’re happy you landed a great new job. But don’t announce your major life events to us like we’re reporters at your own personal press conference. 

On the other hand, “just got the greatest news!” won’t cut it. We’re mildly curious about your life, but don’t make us pry for details. Just tell us your damn news already.

We didn’t sign up the first, 10th, or 100th time you posted about your overpriced miracle workout shakes. Chances are we’re not interested this time either.

Buddy, you have a six-pack. You’re not allowed to post “feeling fat today” selfies.

Oh, good. For a second there, we forgot what you looked like. 

We’ll happily donate to help your sick relative, but we draw the line at paying for your plane ticket to Coachella or your dream honeymoon to Tahiti. 

Thanks, human GPS, but we don’t need our bosses to know we went to 11 bars—and fine, McDonald’s—on a Tuesday night.

You keep doin’ you, creepy random liker.

We appreciate the novel about our shared history. But we’re not going to put in the same effort once your b-day rolls around. 

Just give us a courtesy “HBD” and we’ll be fine. 

We don’t know how you got so far down the rabbit hole that you just liked our photo from July ’08, but kindly climb back up. 

“Does anyone know what the weather’s supposed to be like this weekend?”

Let us talk shit on controversial politicians in peace . . . 

. . . But badmouth our favorite candidate, and there’ll be hell to pay. 

Don’t do it! You still have so many attention-grabbing ultimatums ahead of you!  

Related: 25 Douchey Things You Don’t Know You’re Doing

Serious question: How the hell do you have all these childhood photos so readily available? 

Oh man, we totally would, but we’re so slammed writing this list. Next time, for sure! 

How are we supposed to trust someone like that? How? 

Why yes, we actually will be in San Francisco during the week of your poetry slam!