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Tuesday, December 22, 2015
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Good Old Sport Awards 2015
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We often pay tribute to the incredible season-defining moments that occur throughout the year, and that's all fine and good, but we also want to make sure the WTF moments, horrible decisions, and over-the-top reactions stick in your brain as vividly as the time you accidentally saw grandma naked (you're welcome for that visual being stuck in your head). Time to vote for the biggest...
Disservice to the Game
And the nominees are...
- Nick Kyrgios, for his embarrassing work in, “Phone It In,” where the Australian tennis pro purposely tanked a game after receiving a warning for swearing during a Wimbledon match, then awkwardly hugged a ball boy.
- The Indianapolis Colts, for their knee-slapping comedic performance in “Not A Chance In Hell,” highlighted by their 2-on-5 trick play that went so horribly wrong spectators were left both crying from laughter and scratching their heads in confusion.
- DeAndre Jordan, for his incredibly frustrating performance in “Brick House,” where the professional basketballer missed 22 free throws in a single game (the most in 50 years). To reiterate, a guy getting paid $88 million to make a ball go through a hoop missed 22 unguarded attempts to do so.
- Mikhail Youzhny, for his work in the sequel, “Racket To The Head II,” which has been highly criticized for having the same plot as the original, but with less blood.
- Sally from Australia, for her roll as The Jock in, “Ballin’ Since Birth,” where, with $250,000 on the line, she couldn’t have had a worse half-court shot attempt.
To vote, click on a nominee below. You only get one vote, so make it count!
Nick Kyrgios
The Indianapolis Colts
DeAndre Jordan
Mikhail Youzhny
Sally from Australia
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- Designated Drunk Driver. Suspended Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Justin Blackmon, who hasn't played since 2013, was arrested for another DUI. The Lindsay Lohan of the NFL, Blackmon has let drugs and alcohol destroy a once promising career.
- Thanks For The Reminder. Just in case you forgot boxer Floyd Mayweather was an asshole, he posted an Instagram photo of himself laying on a bed of cash with the caption, "I bring the strip club to me wherever, whenever."
- Young Clubs. 89 players have qualified to play in next year's Masters Golf Tournament, with three of them (Justin Thomas, Daniel Berger and Emiliano Grillo) having been born just a few years before Happy Gilmore (1996) came out. "You think you're better than me?!"
- Sit Down. Coming as a surprise to no one but Odell Beckham Jr., New York Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. has been suspended one game for using his helmet as a battering ram in an attempt to decapitate Carolina Panthers cornerback Josh Norman.
- Big Jump. USC cornerback Adoree' Jackson, one of the best in college football, will forgo spring practice to prepare for the Olympics as a long jumper. The unparalleled money and fame of Olympic long jumping has poached yet another talented athlete from the penniless, lackluster lifestyle as a football player.
- Weak In The Knees. Free safety Tyrann Mathieu of the Arizona Cardinals and quarterback Marcus Mariota of the Tennessee Titans are out for the year with a torn ACL and a sprained MCL, respectively.
- Beer Me. Soccer player Massimo Maccarone of Empoli F.C. put one in the back of the net, then immediately rushed to the stands and took a swig of a fan’s beer to celebrate. It’s cute until you realized Maccarone robbed Joe Schmo of an $18 stadium beer.
- Tit For Tat. The New England Patriots have signed a running back who knows how to take a beating (Steven Jackson) to replace one that knows how to give a beating (LeGarrette Blount).
- Man Up, Coach. Chicago Bulls shooting guard Jimmy Butler called out Bulls head coach Fred Hoiberg for being too much of a softy. Butler said Hoiberg is too laid back, and he needs to coach the Bulls harder. Hoiberg wasn’t immediately available for comment, but it’s assumed he rolled over and succumbed to Butler’s demands like a scolded puppy.
- All For Naught. Drew Brees of the New Orleans Saints became just the fourth quarterback in NFL history to throw for over 60,000 yards while losing to the hapless Detroit Lions 35-27 on Monday Night Football.
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WHAT?
Chelsea F.C. recorded a 3-1 victory over Sunderland A.F.C. this past weekend, and Chelsea fans could not have been more pissed about it.
WHAT ELSE?
It was the first game for Chelsea without freshly fired manager José Mourinho at the helm. Chelsea, who had been struggling all season, suddenly looked revitalized as they cruised to an easy win. Their performance was so impressive it seemed to validate Mourinho’s claim that his players had “ betrayed” him by intentionally putting forth a half-assed effort in preceding weeks, which resulted in his firing. The fans were quick to take Mourinho’s side, chanting his name while reining down boos upon their home team despite the winning performance. Much of the crowd’s animosity was focused on defenders Cesc Fabregas and Diego Costa, who were singled out as the reason Chelsea has struggled defensively this season, a primary factor in Mourinho getting shitcanned. One fan even attempted to make a sign that appeared to lambaste the pair of “rats,” although it’s difficult to decipher due to the penmanship appearing as though it came from an eight-year-old with Parkinson’s, writing with his non-dominant hand.
THOUGHTS?
If we start phoning it in at work is there any chance we can get our boss fired?
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NFL Pick 'Em Results - Week 15
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Bernadette Guerrero of La Habra, CA. kicked ass this week. She missed just two games and guessed the exact score of the Monday Night Football game. Why can't the rest of you be more like Bernadette?
The best of the rest include:
1. Bernadette Guerrero (14-2; 62*)
2. Annapurna Kennedy (13-3; 45*)
3. Rob Kuhn (13-3; 31*)
4. Alex Edlin (12-4; 56*)
5. Sean Woods (12-4; 53*)
*Total points estimate for Monday Night Football. Actual: 62
GET YOUR WEEK 16 PICKS IN NOW. Winner gets a pair of Good Old Sport Koozies, one to keep each hand warm! That's what koozies are for, right? Submission deadline is Thursday, 12/24 at 8:24pm ET.
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MOVING UP THE LADDER
Jaromír Jágr, the Florida Panthers 43-year-old (118 in hockey years) right winger, scored his 732nd goal against the Vancouver Canucks. The awesome one timer moved Jágr into fourth for most goals in NHL history, passing Hall of Famer Marcel Dionne. Jágr has a good chance to surpass Brett Hull (741) for third all-time, but will likely not reach Gordie Howe (801) or Wayne Gretzky (894). As you should know by now, Good Old Sport rule requires us to mention Wayne Gretzky’s daughter, and provide photo evidence of her existence, anytime Wayne Gretzky’s name is mentioned. We’re not sorry for any inconvenience.
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BAD FANTASY
Snoop Dogg isn't pleased with Chip Kelly and the Eagles, who (apparently) "cost [him] his fantasy league." We'll just leave the transcript of his Instagram rant, which was performed while wearing a shower-cap , right here:
"Chip Kelly, kill yourself you dumb ass coach, you're sorry as f*ck, cuz. You need to get dropped down to f*ckin' little league football, you sorry mother f*cker. Cost me my f*ckin' fantasy, cuz. I'm so f*ckin' pissed off..."
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What to Watch (All Times Eastern)
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NHL. Canadiens at Wild - 8pm on NBC Sports; Sharks at Kings - 10:30pm on NBC Sports
COLLEGE FOOTBALL. Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Akron vs. Utah State - 3:30pm on ESPN; Boca Raton Bowl: Toledo vs. Temple (24) - 7pm on ESPN
COLLEGE BASKETBALL. Iowa State at Cincinnati - 7pm on ESPN2; Delaware at Villanova - 7pm on Fox Sports 1; California at Virginia - 9pm on ESPN2; George Washington at DePaul - 9pm on Fox Sports 1
JIMMY FALLON. Michael B. Jordan stops by to chat about about Creed - 11:35pm on NBC
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