The Founding Fathers of the United States were party animals — delegates got trashed off their asses two days before signing the United States Constitution. According to a preserved bill from City Tavern in Philadelphia, 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight bottles of whiskey, 22 bottles of porter, eight bottles of hard cider, 12 bottles of beer, and seven bowls of alcoholic punch were split between 55 men on September 15, 1787. And they only managed to break one glass the entire night.
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Where to Get Shitty Like a President This July 4th
Celebrate Independence Day by getting shitty like a president at some of these locations across the United States:
- John Adams: He was known to drink beer for breakfast. You can too at Washington DC’s Tune Inn, located in Capitol Hill. This restaurant will lovingly serve you a beer and a deep fried hamburger at 8am.
- Franklin Pierce: This guy gets my vote for “hottest president.” And according to his cabinet, he was also one of the drunkest (his alcoholism cost him a reelection bid). Get drunk and feel pretty at Beauty Bar in New York City. Take a seat under a hot-air hairdryer, sip on cocktails, and occasionally get your nails “did.”
- James Buchanan: He made the White House into the ultimate bachelor pad, as he was the only president to never get married. Baller! He also had a penchant for drinking whiskey by the gallon. Drink vicariously through him at The Silver Dollar in Louisville, Kentucky. Sip or shoot your way through the state from their list of local whiskey distilleries.
- Barack Obama: Obama’s alcohol intake seems to be slim — he was once criticized for having a beer at a Washington Wizards basketball game during the height of the recession. But a favorite stop in Chicago for him and is wife is Topolobampo. Practice your slurred campaign speech with a round of margaritas — then faceplant into your enchiladas from drinking too many.
- Ulysses S. Grant: This guy was pretty much wasted during the entire Civil War — which only proves that if America drank more, we’d win at everything. Relive a time when the only anesthetic used to cut off gangrened limbs was bourbon, during a pub tour of Charleston, South Carolina. Over shots of sweet tea vodka, learn about pirates, hookers, and speakeasies of this notable Civil War city.
- George W. Bush: George Jr. had his fair share of drunk driving incidents and did lots of drugs back in college. While I won’t endorse getting behind the wheel shitfaced, I definitely support playing drinking games. Player1 Video Game Bar in Orlando, Florida, lets you hook up your Wii system to their TVs so you can play p’wn your friends at a game of drunk Mario Kart.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt: So maybe he hid the fact that he had polio from public view — what he didn’t hide was his love for martinis. He hosted cocktail hours at the White House during his presidency, mixing all kinds of weird stuff together and serving it to people like Joseph Stalin. Check out Kristauf’s Martini Bar in Salt Lake City, Utah, a relaxed cocktail lounge where you can choose from over 80 different kinds of alcohol to make whatever the hell you want.
- Richard Nixon: He was a pretty big wino. This included a love for Château Margaux, with bottles ranging $250-$2,500. Reenact your own Watergate scandal at the Tower Suite Bar in Las Vegas. If your gambling addiction doesn’t pay for a whole bottle, you can sample one ounce of Château Margaux 1982 for $88.
***Explore the world party scene with 101 PLACES TO GET F*CKED UP BEFORE YOU DIE. Part travel guide, part drunken social commentary, 101 Places to Get F*cked Up Before You Die may have some of the most hilarious scenes and straight-up observations of youth culture of any book you’ve ever read.***