How to fake an opinion about the 2014 Oscar nominations

Each year, Hollywood's equivalent of Christmas morning draws movie buffs from their beds at an ungodly hour to await the announcement of the year's Academy Awards nominees. The next few hours are spent dissecting the age of the nominees, the deservedness of the movies and, of course, raging over the snubs.

For many movie fans, this day marks the beginning of a mad scramble to watch the nominated films and determine how we feel about them. But much like a New Year's resolution, we're back to watching YouTube videos of exploding whales and reality television in a matter of days … or so I've heard. 

If you too are beginning the mad movie watching dash – you have 45 days – and want to keep the energy sustained, here are a few things you should also do:

Say the first thing that comes to your mind about American Hustle and do it now!! 

View image in fullscreen

This “rambunctious crime caper” garnered 10 nominations from the Academy, including one for best movie, and its aggressive marketing campaign and superstar cast makes it the hardest movie of the year to avoid watching. Hustle was directed by David O Russell, of Silver Linings Playbook fame, who is currently raising eyebrows on the press junket circuit for comparing his muse Jennifer Lawrence to a slave. Reviews of the film have garnered an impressive 93% on Rotten Tomatoes, with 80% of viewers reporting that they enjoyed it. Amateur film critics on Twitter don't seem quite as pleased, but what else is new? 

Also with 10 nominations is Gravity, which most notably gained its own Twitter critique from none other than rocket scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson himself. 

Show some respect for the seasoned best actress nominees 

View image in fullscreen

The average age of the best actress nominees is 55, which in Hollywood math is two and a half Jennifer Lawrences. Last year, it was 39. And the year before that, 46. Without the usual errant minor thrown into the mix, much is being made over how this year's nominees are old crones, with tribe elder leader Meryl Streep extending her nominations record to 18 for her role in August: Osage County. 

It does turn out that this year's crop of nominees are, on average, older than ever. Marshall Flores created some histograms for Awards Daily, and tweeted that the average age of nominees usually hovers around 37, which was more in line with previous years. He sent us this updated chart that tracks nominee ages over the years: 

View image in fullscreen

Check out all of these incredible 'holy shit' tweets from nominees 

Just kidding! 

Despite generating massive amounts of conversation around their movies, most celebrities nominated for an Oscar have publicly shamed social media at one point or another. Jennifer Lawrence betrayed her generation by calling social media "confusing" and "overwhelming" – since when has that ever stopped anyone? Sandra Bullock said she doesn't use Twitter because "I don't want anyone to know where I am", while unironically giving a Vogue reporter a detailed tour of her favorite haunts in Austin, Texas. 

So anyway, the “holy shit” category is currently being swept by documentarians – if you see more nominee exclamations, please leave your findings in the comments. 

Get really mad about ______________ being snubbed

In times like these, when you really don't care one way or the other, the easiest thing to do is to muster some personal outrage over snubbed actors. Our own Kayla Epstein has reached out to Twitter denizens for their comments on This Year's Biggest Snub™.

If you have thoughts, be sure to tweet at @GdnWhiteboard: 

Lastly, always remember that the Razzies are more fun 

View image in fullscreen

Why does no one get up early to watch the Razzie Award nominations, which faithfully curate the worst of the worst? This year, worst-actress nominees include Tyler Perry, Lindsay Lohan and Selena Gomez; worst-actor nominees include Adam Sandler, Johnny Depp and perennial winner Sylvester Stallone. This year's actress category is more in line with yearly Oscars age trends, by the way – the average age for the ladies is 37 and for the men, 43.