Hand-me-ups: the smartphones parents inherit from their kids

Name: Hand-me-ups.

Age: Well past it.

Appearance: Clapped-out antique.

Like a rusting Morris Minor? No, like an iPhone 4S.

But that's the sort of phone I have. You surprise me, old man.

What's wrong with it? It does everything I need it to do, and more. Why, it's like a watch and a walkie talkie in one! How many pixels does the camera have?

There's a camera in it? Has it got fast wireless? 64-bit architecture? Fingerprint recognition?

I don't really know that much about it, to be honest. One of my kids gave it to me when he got an upgrade. That's why it's called a hand-me-up, granddad.

Sorry, what's that? According to a new study from an online retailer, old technology – including phones, tablets, TVs – are increasingly being "handed up" to parents by their children. Apparently one in three UK mums is now using a phone handed up by another family member.

Sounds very sensible. The older generation – that's you – isn't really concerned with having the most up-to-date stuff, whereas people under 25 tend to think a smartphone needs replacing after 11 months.

That's ridiculous – just because the screen is a bit scratched and it sometimes plays loud music in your pocket for no reason. It's still perfectly serviceable. It's all yours, mate.

You young people wouldn't know you were born if you didn't have an app to remind you it was your birthday. Such mindless consumption. Actually, hand-me-ups are a pretty efficient form of recycling: new technology enters the household through the family member most concerned with novelty, and ends up with the person who cares least, extending the lifespan of the product.

Do you know that if my children ring me, their names and faces actually appear on the screen? It was nice talking to you. You take care now.

Before you go, could you just show me how to get Radio 4 on it? I'm late as it is. Bye.

Do say: "Like me, this old phone may be cracked and obsolete, but there's plenty of life left in both of us."

Don't say: "When I was your age we had to crush our own candy, with a mallet."