In May 2011, when she was 21, Lisa Bacon found out she was pregnant. Suddenly she was afraid that she might lose her home and that her baby would be taken away from her. Lisa – who has a mild learning disability and hearing loss – knew that only a tiny proportion of people like her ever become parents and if they do, there is a 50-50 chance that the child will be removed, shortly after the birth.
Lisa was taken away from her own family when she was 11 and put into foster care. At 21, she left her foster mother's home to live on her own, but struggled. She couldn't cook, use a washing machine or manage money. Then, eight months later, everything in Lisa's life changed for the better – in ways she had never imagined.
Lisa went to live with Dawn Jago, under a scheme that pairs adults with learning disabilities or, sometimes, dementia, with trained people who are committed to the idea of sharing their homes, families and lives, either short or longer term. Lisa moved into Dawn's modest home on a housing estate in Redruth, Cornwall.
Dawn, 46, joined the charity Shared Lives South West, which runs the scheme, as a carer two years ago. She and her husband, Jason, have four sons, two of whom, aged 18 and 10, are still at home.
The idea was that Lisa would spend six months under Dawn's wing, learning how to look after herself. However, Dawn got more than she bargained for. "Lisa moved in on 4 May and next day told me she was five weeks pregnant by her boyfriend Brian. It was a shock."
"I was scared Dawn wouldn't let me stay," says Lisa, "I didn't want to be out on the street and I didn't want my baby to be taken away."
According to the organisation Best Beginnings, around 7% of adults with a learning disability become parents and their offspring are more likely to be removed than any other group of children. And the information website About Learning Disabilities estimates that 40-60% of parents with a learning disability don't live with their children. The site says: "One of the main problems faced by a parent who is learning disabled is the presumption of incompetence. Even carers and social service professionals may have preconceived ideas about their ability to parent."
Dawn faced a difficult decision at the very start of the relationship. "I didn't know very much about Lisa or her ability to cope with pregnancy. I didn't know if we'd gel, and there was the rest of the family to consider. But Jason and I decided to take one day at a time and support Lisa the best we could."
Thanks to that support, Lisa is now living in her own two-bedroom flat and caring for her six-month-old baby, Tia, who chortles contentedly on the blanket spread at her mother's feet. Lisa has dressed her daughter in white trousers, pink sparkly shoes and a pink knitted cardigan. "Last time I had her weighed she was 19lbs 5oz, but I think she is more like 20lbs now." Lisa says proudly. "She's healthy and developing normally."
Jane Bell, chief executive of Shared Lives South West, says, "We have nurturing carers who are great with older people who are unlikely to learn new skills. Then we have carers like Dawn, who are fantastic with youngsters and pushing them to be independent.
This way, clients can learn how to be parents in a traditional way, through experience, says Jane. "Lots of people who lose their children never had the chance to learn how to parent. Being able to see how Dawn's family operates, and the dynamics of how you solve problems and rub along together, is good role modelling for a new mum. That said, it's not going to work for people who have severe learning disabilities who really couldn't parent independently."
Before her pregnancy, Lisa had a social worker who is still around. Although her social worker and Shared Lives were confident that Lisa could cope with parenthood, children's social services became involved to protect Tia's best interests.
Janice Brown, senior Shared Lives coordinator, explains: "I visited Lisa regularly to ensure that she understood that there was a process [involving children's social workers and the Special Parenting Service who work with parents with a learning disability] that we had to follow."
Dawn says, "Lisa helped herself by being so willing. She went to all the ante-natal appointments and did all the things that social services asked of her. She went to parenting groups and followed a healthy lifestyle."
From the beginning, Dawn was by her side, just as she would have been had Lisa been her daughter. As the pregnancy progressed, their bond grew and Lisa asked Dawn to be her birthing partner. Lisa doesn't think of Dawn as a mother, though: "She's more like a big sister."
Not everyone was enthusiastic about this pregnancy, Lisa says: "The dentist wasn't happy. I said, 'Do you want to see the scan picture?' and she said, 'No'."
Dawn adds: "The dentist was negative and said, 'You've got to think about the child.' It wasn't appropriate, and we were shocked."
Lisa smiles, "Now Tia's here, the dentist is quite interested in her."
Dawn recalls Tia's arrival: "One week over Lisa's due date, I sensed the birth was imminent. Lisa started contractions at 5am. After a visit from the midwife, we stayed at home as long as possible, arriving at hospital at 10pm. Lisa managed brilliantly, only having gas and air for the duration of the labour. At six minutes past five, on 12 January, Tia was born."
Lisa takes up the story. "She weighed 8lbs 14oz. I knew I was having a girl and had chosen the name Carla May. But I changed my mind. I said to Brian, "What about Tia Serena – it suits her."
After the birth, Dawn's extended family rushed round with things for Lisa and the baby. Lisa smiles, "I got loads of presents from people I didn't even know!"
Over the following months, Dawn helped Lisa hone her life skills.
Dawn says, "With lots of repetition, it was all achievable."
Lisa says, "I can wash my own clothes and cook spaghetti bolognese and shepherd's pie. Last night I made Tia mash and mixed it with a jar of baby food and she liked that."
In June, Lisa moved into her flat, two miles from Dawn's house. Little by little, she is furnishing her home. "I've got a sofa and I am looking for a high chair. I have bought Tia a baby walker."
Lisa hopes that Brian will move in, though Dawn and Jane are encouraging Lisa to have time on her own with Tia, to establish her independence first.
Children's services are no longer involved in Lisa's life and her social worker is now happy to see her at three month intervals. Dawn pops in weekly. She says, "I have five hours of outreach support with Lisa on a Wednesday. It's Lisa's choice what we do. We've been sorting out carpet for the flat and a gas meter that works with a card so Lisa doesn't get a bill. Yesterday Lisa asked if I would go to the doctor's with her and Tia to make sure she understood everything the doctor said. There were little things wrong with the flat, so I supported Lisa to contact the agency she's renting from, and helped her sort out housing benefit. Lisa's day-to-day living skills are really good. We improve on them all the time."
This is a great example of how well this innovative scheme can work. As Jane says: "Through Shared Lives, people create relationships and love and family."
As Dawn cuddles Tia and coos, "Who could not love you?" it is obvious that Dawn doesn't clock-off after the five hours for which she is paid. She is available for Lisa and her baby for as long as they need her.
Jane says, "I've met lots of people in Lisa's position who have lost their children. They are sad, and then they have another baby and the same thing happens because they really want to be parents. With the right support it is possible – we just need to find more Dawns. Lots of people have the capacity to welcome people into their home, but to actually set up a path so that someone like Lisa can move on and parent for herself – that takes special skill."
And for Lisa, what is the best thing about being a mother? "To get to hold my daughter and wake up with her every day."
Sadly, that's a pleasure that many people with learning difficulties can only dream of.
A Shared Lives carer earns approximately £300 to £450 per week, depending on the needs of the service user. This covers rent, food, household costs as well as the time and input by the Shared Lives carer. To support a parent with learning difficulties a premium is likely to be added, to reflect the additional skills the Shared Lives carer will need and to accommodate the child. The fees are paid partly by adult social care and partly by the service user from his or her benefits. There are tax breaks for Shared Lives carers. To find out more, go to www.sharedlivessw.org.uk