Dear E. Jean: I've paid my way through college and grad school by working in retail management for a famous clothing store. I've been glowingly recommended by two of our shop's managers for a new assistant-manager position, but I discovered that a certain other person has started a search for external candidates. This is a person I repeatedly reported to HR for workplace violations—lawbreaking violations. Should I stay on the team and wait for the decision? I suspect she doesn't want me to succeed. —So Very Lost
Very, My Violet: Succeed? Hahahahaha! I don't want to insult or alarm you, but the lady wants to strap you in cement stilettos and dump you in a bog in New Jersey. Start interviewing new companies. (It'd be cool if, by attaining fame at your next job, you could knock the woman's seething dislike for you up a few levels to berserk envy, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.)
You simply can't "repeatedly" report a superior for "lawbreaking violations" to HR and live to tell about it. HR, after all, is only human. HR is there to protect the company, my luv, not you.
The way to handle these kinds of situations is to talk directly (frankly, kindly, with humor) to the person and offer a solution before taking it to HR. For example: "I saw you making out with Gerald, your assistant, in the company car. I hope you checked the odometer; I think it's due for an oil change." Or, in serious cases ("lawbreaking" probably falls under that heading), the folks at the Society of Human Resources Management say you may go directly to HR.
This letter is from the E. Jean archive.
I write the ASK E. JEAN column in ELLE magazine. Incredibly it's the longest, currently-running advice column in American publishing. I live in a little cabin on an island (it's about the size of a mattress) in upstate New York. I used to write for Saturday Night Live and was a contributing editor to Esquire and Outside. I have noticed one thing about writing: when I get stuck I find that walking into the kitchen sixty or seventy times to eat something really helps.
