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270 pages, Paperback
First published June 22, 2019
“I’m giving you what you want by walking away. You want a family, and I can’t do that while my family is my team.”
My heart is beating hard against my chest walls as her body starts to tremble. This is what we do. We fight, we make each other crazy, we push each other away, and then we crash back together.
Like a never-ending war that we keep fighting because we can’t stop.
She sniffs as her shoulders fall. “It could be so simple for us.”
I bury my face in her dark red hair and brush my nose against the back of her neck. “I can’t do it. I can’t give up this life.” In her heart, I think she knows this. “Not even for you.”
“I’m not yours anymore.”
That’s where she’s wrong. She is mine. She will always be mine. “I’m not walking away this time, Ash. No matter how hard you push.”
“I don’t expect this to be easy.”
“No, it definitely won’t be.”
“I know that I have a lot of grovelling to do.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “I’d say that.”
“But I’m willing to do it. I’ll fight through whatever line of men is trying to take my place. I’ll slay any dragon if it means I get you in the end. I know talk is cheap and that I’ve made promises I couldn’t keep before, but I want to give you whatever you want.”
His fingers wipe away a tear I didn’t feel fall. “I’ve only ever wanted you.”
“You have me.”
“I’m in love with you. So deeply in love with you that I don’t think there will ever be a way out.”
He moans against my mouth, and my hands press against his hard chest. I want him so much I want to not want him even more, but I can’t stop it. He breaks the kiss, but his lips move to my neck.
“I hate you,” I tell him.
“No, you don’t”
“Shut up.”
His warm breath is right against my ear. “You shut up.”
“Make me.”
He slowly drags his lips back to mine, effectively doing exactly what I told him to do – shut me up.
There are no winners here. There are just two people who can’t seem to find their places. It’s sad and awful. The pain of losing him was bad enough the first go around, yet here I am, enduring some form of it again.