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Lost in Motherhood: The Memoir of a Woman who Gained a Baby and Lost Her Sh*t
Previously published as Mum Face.
Best described as The Wrong Knickers for mums, in this wry, resonant and darkly funny memoir, journalist Grace Timothy explores motherhood as an issue of identity.
What begins as shock and then denial of how your life will change has to become acceptance when you’re too big to walk/waddle/work; you’re fully repurposed now; you’re a mum, in everything you do, and everyone knows it. From the physical and emotional changes you encounter to the way your agenda and daily life is altered, your identity is constantly up for redefinition. As the friends and colleagues who shape and support your sense of self slip away, work dwindles as every hour becomes a moment you should be with your child, and your confidence is knocked by the constant feedback from everyone, you try and fit in everywhere – old life, new life – and don’t fit anywhere. It’s the identity crisis that no woman is immune to, belying the credo that being a mother is the most natural thing a girl could do.
Grace has experienced mum rage, mom jeans, mum-tum, mum-hair and had to put on her mum face to cope with it all. These are the truths of motherhood too uncomfortable to flow forth at your NCT meet-ups. From bad sex, messed-up friendships and irretrievable labia to questioning everything and everyone around you.
The hilarious book follows Grace’s journey from a young married woman at the top of her editorial game in London, to a thirty-something mum, confused as to how she can love someone as much as her daughter and yet feel lost as a person.
Compulsively readable, irresistibly written and incredibly well-observed, Grace Timothy’s searingly-honest account of motherhood is essential reading for every mum trying to find their way after the mother of all identity crises.
Best described as The Wrong Knickers for mums, in this wry, resonant and darkly funny memoir, journalist Grace Timothy explores motherhood as an issue of identity.
What begins as shock and then denial of how your life will change has to become acceptance when you’re too big to walk/waddle/work; you’re fully repurposed now; you’re a mum, in everything you do, and everyone knows it. From the physical and emotional changes you encounter to the way your agenda and daily life is altered, your identity is constantly up for redefinition. As the friends and colleagues who shape and support your sense of self slip away, work dwindles as every hour becomes a moment you should be with your child, and your confidence is knocked by the constant feedback from everyone, you try and fit in everywhere – old life, new life – and don’t fit anywhere. It’s the identity crisis that no woman is immune to, belying the credo that being a mother is the most natural thing a girl could do.
Grace has experienced mum rage, mom jeans, mum-tum, mum-hair and had to put on her mum face to cope with it all. These are the truths of motherhood too uncomfortable to flow forth at your NCT meet-ups. From bad sex, messed-up friendships and irretrievable labia to questioning everything and everyone around you.
The hilarious book follows Grace’s journey from a young married woman at the top of her editorial game in London, to a thirty-something mum, confused as to how she can love someone as much as her daughter and yet feel lost as a person.
Compulsively readable, irresistibly written and incredibly well-observed, Grace Timothy’s searingly-honest account of motherhood is essential reading for every mum trying to find their way after the mother of all identity crises.
321 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 22, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
April 10, 2019
Oh my god. This book!
I read it under the new title of Lost In Motherhood.
When I was half way through I messaged two of my girlfriends and declared it ‘Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love for women who have babies’ and I can’t think of a better way to explain it.
So many of the experiences are exactly what I felt, and all of them were ones I felt completely alone in at the time.
The sleep deprivation, the unreasonable (but totally reasonable) anger at your partner, the terrifying fear that something might happen to your baby, the terrifying fear that something -has- happened to you, the territorial rage you feel when somebody else holds them, the desperate need to be touched, the desperate need to never be touched again... the ups, the downs, the realities.
Every mother should read this. Every father should read this. Every friend of a woman who just had a baby should read this. I’ll probably read it again.
It’s the book I wish I’d written, and the book that’s giving me so much inspiration to write my own story.
It’s incredible. I cannot fault it. Especially with how detailed the descriptions of post-baby vulvas are. And the amount of ‘fucks’ obviously.
I read it under the new title of Lost In Motherhood.
When I was half way through I messaged two of my girlfriends and declared it ‘Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know About Love for women who have babies’ and I can’t think of a better way to explain it.
So many of the experiences are exactly what I felt, and all of them were ones I felt completely alone in at the time.
The sleep deprivation, the unreasonable (but totally reasonable) anger at your partner, the terrifying fear that something might happen to your baby, the terrifying fear that something -has- happened to you, the territorial rage you feel when somebody else holds them, the desperate need to be touched, the desperate need to never be touched again... the ups, the downs, the realities.
Every mother should read this. Every father should read this. Every friend of a woman who just had a baby should read this. I’ll probably read it again.
It’s the book I wish I’d written, and the book that’s giving me so much inspiration to write my own story.
It’s incredible. I cannot fault it. Especially with how detailed the descriptions of post-baby vulvas are. And the amount of ‘fucks’ obviously.
January 13, 2020
I liked the beginning, and there were some funny bits, but then it just got so tedious. Lots of repetition. The structure felt quite chaotic and parts felt shoe-horned in for comedic effect, which came across as trying too hard. Couldn't wait for it to be over (I never DNF a book...it's a problem). The second half of the book just didn't do it for me.
July 4, 2021
I’d recommend the book to women who are deciding to have babies. It was a nice and realistic description of what a woman goes through during pregnancy and after giving birth. I wouldn’t say it was very well written, though; especially towards the end it got messy, it was like she wanted to put everything in the book no matter how irrelevant it was to the chapter.
July 29, 2018
I hadn't heard of Grace Timothy before, but as a mum to a four month old and a lover of non-fiction, I was quite interested in Mum Face when I saw it on the shelf in the library. It's a vastly different experience of motherhood to the one that I'm going through, so I didn't find myself relating to it all that much, but there were bits that made me laugh out loud and it was a very quick read. However, the narrative jump between the six month old baby and the two year old baby was quite dramatic - it works rather slowly through the first few months of Grace's daughter's life, so it felt very odd to suddenly experience such a leap.
August 25, 2018
The start of this book is hilarious. I found myself laughing out loud and reading excerpts to whoever was around me at the time, perhaps because a lot of what the author was saying resonated with my own introduction to motherhood! However, it started to get boring from about halfway and I didn’t end up finishing before it was due back at the library!
November 19, 2021
I picked this up because I, too, felt lose in the motherhood. I did not know what I was looking for, but I found it here. However, only in the first months and a little at the end when weighting up the pros and cons of a second. Generally I like the openness and how truthful Grace wrote about the challenges in these first months. Most people do not want to share these parts of their journeys, so I could truly relate and was happy I was not the only one. However, as months went by, I started losing interest and found less and less of what was still similar or interesting. Unfortunately I've had to skip some chapters as they dragged on.
Overall, I think if you are a new mum and you are a bit lost, you should read it. You will find plenty to help you feel more relaxed about certain things and make you realise you aren't alone. But, as I said, closer to end end of the book, I was not feeling it anymore, though I felt for the author going through very difficult time.
Overall, I think if you are a new mum and you are a bit lost, you should read it. You will find plenty to help you feel more relaxed about certain things and make you realise you aren't alone. But, as I said, closer to end end of the book, I was not feeling it anymore, though I felt for the author going through very difficult time.
August 8, 2018
Loved this book and how open she was in her experience. It’s an easy read and full of hilarious moments. I like how she didn’t hold back on talking about her sex life too. I think everyone’s experience as a mother is different and this book reaffirms the tension life presents with curveballs. My only criticism which could just be a personal thing and not so much on the author, I was a bit shocked how her narrative went from her daughter being a baby to suddenly ready to begin school.
July 23, 2018
Parenting age 0-5 is shite.
This is fantastically honest and has made me feel better about my hellish life I'm living at the moment (mum to a 2 year old). I hate myself and i hate my life. But u give me hope with this book..survive . And NEVER have another.
This is fantastically honest and has made me feel better about my hellish life I'm living at the moment (mum to a 2 year old). I hate myself and i hate my life. But u give me hope with this book..survive . And NEVER have another.
May 2, 2019
Insightful and reassuring
A very personal story, well written, funny and real. I found this book helped me, as a new mum, to see that every mother's journey is tough but also incredibly rewarding.
A very personal story, well written, funny and real. I found this book helped me, as a new mum, to see that every mother's journey is tough but also incredibly rewarding.
May 27, 2019
Great book
Great book with moments that make you laugh out loud because they are so relatable. With a serious underpinning message that it's totally ok to not be ok. Very refreshing
Great book with moments that make you laugh out loud because they are so relatable. With a serious underpinning message that it's totally ok to not be ok. Very refreshing
July 22, 2019
‘It felt like I’d been punched by a truck’. This is Timothy talking about her vagina a few days after giving birth. A third of the way into this book, I’d already had to put it down about 20 times for fear I might faint or puke on my commute to work.
Timothy has managed to capture every fear and hope I have for the eventual possibility of having kids in the most brutally truthful way. I’m pretty sure if I decide to have kids, this is how I’ll regale the story of pregnancy and childbirth to others...especially teenage girls.
The last few chapters lost me a little...it gets a bit self involved and loses the gusto of the first three quarters of the book. But Timothy’s writing style is right up my alley and it was a highly enjoyable, if not an utterly terrifying read.
Timothy has managed to capture every fear and hope I have for the eventual possibility of having kids in the most brutally truthful way. I’m pretty sure if I decide to have kids, this is how I’ll regale the story of pregnancy and childbirth to others...especially teenage girls.
The last few chapters lost me a little...it gets a bit self involved and loses the gusto of the first three quarters of the book. But Timothy’s writing style is right up my alley and it was a highly enjoyable, if not an utterly terrifying read.
March 21, 2020
A great read
Very identifiable and a real look into motherhood. A laugh out loud book. Even spat out my coffee. Brilliant book
Very identifiable and a real look into motherhood. A laugh out loud book. Even spat out my coffee. Brilliant book
April 23, 2020
Loved it
Such a relatable and honest journey of being a first time mum. It made me laugh out loud and made me cry
Such a relatable and honest journey of being a first time mum. It made me laugh out loud and made me cry
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July 18, 2020Didn't like this book.
August 15, 2023
Very funny and relatable easy read
November 23, 2023
Hilarious but also made me anxious about giving birth....
May 17, 2021
So funny. I laughed out loud all the way through. Even at things Grace Timothy writes about that are actually not funny at all but rather hard when she experienced them. Humour is so powerful when it helps us push through hard times and feel thousands of other humans have gone through the same s... or look back at those times and use humour to heal those wounds. Really recommend.
September 7, 2018
I listened to this on BookBeat and really enjoyed it. I quite like listening to mum books like this on audiobook because I can just tune out a little but also learn about things I might need to know in the future. This was very down-to-earth and described the whole process from conception to a terrible twos. Really in-depth and quite sweet.
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June 22, 2018Since this subject has interested me for many years, I enjoyed the emotions described and enjoyed reading about pregnancy and childbirth and having a kid
Sometimes throughout the book Grace would repeat herself one too many times, so much that at times I thought I had read that paragraph
And maybe it was intended to be chaotic so that sometimes I wasn't sure where in time we were
Grace did get it through to me that she felt pressured and desperate the first few years of her child's growth from being in her stomach and coming out to the world
She made me wonder if I would be the same if I got pregnant and got children and then I would think maybe in some degree, and other times I would think that it would be different because I want a baby. But then I won't know until it happens
That said, it should be noted that there were some funny parts in this memoir, and I should also note that at times I forgot that this was real life and not a story.
Sometimes throughout the book Grace would repeat herself one too many times, so much that at times I thought I had read that paragraph
And maybe it was intended to be chaotic so that sometimes I wasn't sure where in time we were
Grace did get it through to me that she felt pressured and desperate the first few years of her child's growth from being in her stomach and coming out to the world
She made me wonder if I would be the same if I got pregnant and got children and then I would think maybe in some degree, and other times I would think that it would be different because I want a baby. But then I won't know until it happens
That said, it should be noted that there were some funny parts in this memoir, and I should also note that at times I forgot that this was real life and not a story.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews