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The Chairman's Toys

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Vancouver, British Columbia - land of psychotically expensive real estate, high-grade cannabis, and Jake Constable. A man adrift.

After Jake quits the drug business, his realtor/ex-wife, Nina, gets him a job as a house sitter for her wealthy clients. Jake celebrates by throwing a party in the mansion he was hired to look after. Unfortunately, the guest list gets out of hand, leaving Jake to contend with a hallucinogenic-vitamin-dispensing yogi, a dead guy in the bathroom, and The Norwegian - a criminal force of nature with a grudge against Jake.

When the owner of the multimillion-dollar crime scene returns home prematurely, only Jake's inadvertent discovery of the man's politically incorrect business history saves him from having to clean up after the party. But he still has to come clean with his ex-wife. The situation threatens to turn into an international incident when Nina’s power broker uncle and some Chinese government agents show up to turn the screws on Jake. Soon after that his friends start disappearing. With the Chinese government leaning on him and The Norwegian out to settle an old score, Jake comes up with a desperate plan to dupe a pair of secret agents, save his friends, and (why not?) solve the murder.

352 pages, Paperback

First published July 3, 2018

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About the author

Graham Reed

1 book74 followers
Graham Reed is an award-winning author of crime fiction. He lives on a small island in the Salish Sea with his wife and two kids.

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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
Profile Image for Jay.
543 reviews19 followers
September 23, 2018
The review for this book will not be appearing in Mystery Scene after all so here's what I had to say about it in full:

Jake Constable is a former drug dealer, a seeming ne'er do well with a sarcastic sense of humor trying to go straight. Working for his ex-wife Nina as a housesitter in Vancouver for her wealthy real estate clients seems like a cushy gig. He stays in fancy homes and life doesn't seem to be all that stressful.

When his friend Richard talks him into throwing a forbidden party at his current client's house, things go from bad to worse when a dead body is found in the bathroom. Unsure of what to do, Jake and his friends try to figure out what to do in order to get rid of the body. As if Jake's luck isn't bad enough the homeowner, Mickey Wu, shows up far earlier than planned and catches them in the middle of everything.

Despite discovering the dead body himself, Wu lets Jake and his friends leave with barely a word said. This less than outraged reaction piques Jake's interest. Who was the dead man? Who killed him and why? The list of suspects grows quickly. There's The Norwegian, Jake's former partner back in his drug-dealing days, Micky Wu and eventually a couple of agents of the Chinese government come into play as possible suspects or potential albeit tentative allies.

If murder isn't enough for you, there's plenty of drugs, violence, a kidnapping and some international intrigue involving the Chinese government's plan to force their ex-pat citizens to return home. Tying these threads together would seem to be a bit beyond Jake's capabilities which left me thinking the plot's resolution was a bit too clever for it's own good. Perhaps that's a lesson to not underestimate the power of a good con man.

Jake Constable is definitely an anti-hero. He's in a mess of his own making and each further mistake he makes seems to end up hurting someone is his small circle of friends. The author's bestowing of a killer sarcastic wit on the character certainly helps soften the rougher edges, but at times I found myself caring more about the supporting characters than Jake. Reed's descriptions of Vancouver gave a definite sense of place to the book and he's created a motley crew of interesting characters, however desperately flawed, that I'm sure we'll read more from in books to come.
Profile Image for Cheryl.
5,577 reviews215 followers
July 28, 2018
This book does have the slap stick humor of black comedy. Which, if you have not read a black humor book, than you will either love or hate it. Black humor is more crude and in your face. In this case, it works well for this storyline. The characters were eccentric which helped to keep the story interesting.

For example, the story starts out with Jake hosting a party at a house he is house sitting at. Things go wrong with a dead body in the bathroom and the house owner a big name in China with Mao Tse thong underwear.

Jake and his friends find themselves in over their heads on the run. The story is unbelievable and silly but again this is what makes this book charming. This is a fast read. The Chairman's Toys is good for some laughs.
Profile Image for Eliott Behar.
Author 1 book17 followers
August 13, 2018
A fantastic book, written in an insightful, sharp, and very distinctive new voice. Reed has a style that's always one or two steps ahead and that invites you to catch up with him, packing a ton of observation (and quick wit) into every sentence. You'll likely find yourself, as I did, going back over sentences to unpack them again. Quite a debut...I'm excited to see what's next.
Profile Image for Bookreporter.com Mystery & Thriller.
2,100 reviews41.8k followers
November 9, 2018
Jake Constable is a 40-something, older but wiser former millionaire cannabis grower gone straight. Thanks to his former wife, a successful Vancouver realtor with links to offshore billionaires who find the booming housing industry on the British Columbia peninsula to be a prime money-laundering repository, he now house sits empty mansions and condos --- checking locks and alarm systems, fluffing pillows, sorting mail. It’s profitable but boring.

It’s so boring, in fact, that he decides to throw a party in one of the $50 million mansions he is hired to watch. The address for a small party for some friends goes viral, and events spin completely out of hand when friends of friends of friends make a turnstile out of the magnificent front door. Especially when word gets out that the mansion is owned by Mickey Wu, the Underwear King of Beijing, designer of the wildly popular Mao Tse Thong. Wu is known to be safely thousands of miles away on business in Shanghai.

Jake is neither surprised nor pleased when former customers and their friends swarm through the massive hand-carved doors. Mickey’s dining room table has become an assembly line for partiers who are hoovering up lines of a suspicious white powder. Windows are shaking as the DJ cranks up the sound. Dawn is breaking when Jake decides the event is over. He is seeing the crowd out the door when he receives a text from Richard, his co-host: THERE’S A DEAD GUY IN THE BATHROOM. Upon checking the body, they see what appears to be a bag containing drugs under the man’s chest. Contacting the police is ruled out.

While Jake and Richard ponder what to do with the corpse, they look up from the floor of the small bathroom to see Mickey Wu. And looming in the doorway is Jake’s former distributor, The Norwegian. This once-successful purveyor of weed to the Vancouver social elite finds himself the target of the Chinese Secret Service, Interpol, the Canadian version of the FDA and the Canadian Coast Guard.

Graham Reed’s first novel introduces us --- through his wry, urbane and witty writing style --- to Jake, a naive young man who is up to his neck in trouble. Jake would prefer to live a quiet, normal life, but his early-20s escapades rule out that option. He thought he was through with The Norwegian after buying him off with $300,000 when he shut down his cannabis trade. But now he’s back --- an all-towering Viking of a man with ties to the Canadian underworld and the Chinese triads.

We look forward to Jake’s future adventures, especially now since marijuana recently has been legalized throughout Canada. This is not an issue in THE CHAIRMAN’S TOYS, but Jake is such a beguiling character with a penchant for mayhem that we hope to see more of him. He turns out to be good at crime solving, so he could become a detective --- or will he return to his old habits? In either case, he seems to know where a lot of bodies are buried.

Reviewed by Roz Shea
Profile Image for Ruthie Jones.
1,028 reviews55 followers
August 31, 2018
The Chairman’s Toys by Graham Reed is absolutely hilarious. It takes special skill to keep snappy prose from becoming gimmicky, and this author definitely has that special skill. Jake is certainly not the stereotypical good guy who reveals his redeeming qualities by the end of the book. Jake races across the pages with the “I will do whatever it takes to save my own skin” attitude from the very first line to that last line that had me shaking my head and laughing out loud.

All the characters are well developed and completely fun, and the plot is unique and full of twists and turns. When a house-sitting gig turns deadly and messy, Jake somehow jumps in and out of trouble, setting the stage for an amusing caper filled with a dead guy with two phones, drugs, a kidnapping, a bait-and-switch routine involving a safety deposit box and raunchy porn, Chinese secret agents, and financial crimes galore. The author throws Jake into Vancouver’s sordid underbelly of corruption, pitting him against (and with) a slew of memorable characters. The fun part is that we are taken along for the ride.

The writing is incredibly fluid and dynamic, fitting well with Jake’s uncanny ability to land on his feet and talk his way out of the many jams he stumbles into. What I love most about this story, besides the humor and all the enjoyable characters, is the overarching theme of camaraderie. Sure, Jake flies by the seat of his pants, and many would call him a screw up, but he cares. He cares about his old friends, Richard and Dante, his ex wife, Nina, and his new friends, Wendy and even Barb eventually. And deep down, we know he cares about The Norwegian, who, by the way, is my favorite character (next to Jake). “It’s been said that no man is an island, but The Norwegian was about as close as they come.” I’m still laughing, and this is a prime example of the type of thoughts rambling through Jake’s head throughout the book. Love it!

For all his faults, Jake is a likable character and easily forgiven for his dexterity at weaseling his way out of trouble. He’s funny and often silly, but his survival instinct is real and honest. And the bit about Jake’s mother, Captain Constable? Well, I’ll leave you to discover that plot gem for yourself, as well as how Jake manages to be the hero and extract himself and his friends from the jaws of death but still remain the same happy-go-lucky goof off as when we met him on page one. Some people never change, and thank goodness Jake Constable is one of those people.
Profile Image for Steven Karalash.
51 reviews
August 20, 2018
Book Synopsis:    Vancouver, British Columbia – land of psychotically expensive real estate, high-grade cannabis, and Jake Constable. A man adrift.

After Jake quits the drug business, his realtor/ex-wife, Nina, gets him a job as a house sitter for her wealthy clients. Jake celebrates by throwing a party in the mansion he was hired to look after. Unfortunately, the guest list gets out of hand, leaving Jake to contend with a hallucinogenic-vitamin-dispensing yogi, a dead guy in the bathroom, and The Norwegian – a criminal force of nature with a grudge against Jake.

When the owner of the multimillion-dollar crime scene returns home prematurely, only Jake’s inadvertent discovery of the man’s politically incorrect business history saves him from having to clean up after the party. But he still has to come clean with his ex-wife. The situation threatens to turn into an international incident when Nina’s power broker uncle and some Chinese government agents show up to turn the screws on Jake. Soon after that his friends start disappearing. With the Chinese government leaning on him and The Norwegian out to settle an old score, Jake comes up with a desperate plan to dupe a pair of secret agents, save his friends, and (why not?) solve the murder.

 

My Review:   Through Mr. Reed’s amusing, witty and entertaining writing style, we are introduced to  the main character, Jake Constable, who is trying to turn his life around, and get out of the drug business for good. But because of his history and some old acquaintances from his previous life, he seems to run into trouble at every turn.  The characters develop at just the right pace and with enough depth that you are right there, in the story with them.  A lot happens in just a few pages, and before you know it, you are witness to a good old-fashioned murder.  The story itself, is never predictable.  Mr. Reed  takes you on a dizzying rollercoaster ride as you try to figure out the answers to the plot.  It includes the discovery of a body to kidnapping, encountering secret agents, and dueling with a very sizable (and somewhat scary) villain named “The Norwegian”.  The plot is anything but simple, but there are no loose ends to leave you pondering either.  Every part of the story is meticulously told to you with cleverness (and sometimes laugh out loud humour) which is a staple throughout this book.  The writing style is unique and an absolute delight to read. Through Jake Constable, Mr. Reed pays homage to the gumshoe tradition of characters like Columbo, but in a contemporary Vancouver setting.  I knew after only a couple of pages, that I was in for a treat and Mr. Reed did not disappoint.  I loved this book and I for one, can’t wait for the next installment featuring Jake Constable to be written.

I rate this book 4 out of 5 stars.

About The Author:  Graham Reed is an award-winning author of crime fiction. He lives on a small island in the Salish Sea with his wife and two children.

 
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jessica Bronder.
2,015 reviews27 followers
August 22, 2018
Jake Constable used to grow and sell cannabis with a partner called the Norwegian in Vancouver. But he has decided to go legal and currently works housesitting for the rich clients of his ex-wife. But at the most recent house he decides to have a party that gets way out of hand. The client comes home early to discover the mess and a dead body in the bathroom.

But this is just the start of Jake’s troubles. His friends find themselves kidnapped, the Chinese government wants him, and the Norwegian is back and after him too. His ex-wife is pretty pissed too about the party. Jake is going to have to do some fast talking if he is going to save his friends and himself from this mess.

This is a great story will with lots of action, adventure, and mystery. Jake is trying to get away from the drugs but he just can’t seem to get his life in order. But he is kept on his toes with the Norwegian coming after him. It doesn’t help that the rich guy’s house that his party trashed is wanted by the Chinese government.

I really liked this book and think it was a great introduction to Jake Constable and Graham Reed’s writing. I was easily drawn in and although the book concluded well has left me wanting to read more from Reed.

I received a complimentary copy of this book. I voluntarily chose to read and post an honest review.
Profile Image for Joan.
3,883 reviews91 followers
August 1, 2018
I enjoyed this quirky mystery as it wandered through the dark side of Vancouver, BC. Jake is definitely a deeply flawed hero but one I liked. He is the epitome of so many today, unsure how to live a productive life. Having given up growing marijuana, he checks on the houses of wealthy but absent owners. He can't even get that right. He is loyal to his friends, however, even if he keeps getting them into trouble. It was a bit humorous how Jake bumbled his way through to solving a murder.

I appreciated the setting of Vancouver, BC. I knew the Chinese had been buying properties in the city over the last decades. This novel gives a good view of Chinese influence in the city.

I like Reed's writing style. He has a way of painting a scene with words. For example, “He showed me a grin like a rusty saw blade.” I could just see it!

I recommend this novel to readers who enjoy a quirky mystery with a flawed hero and a gaggle of supporting people. Jake is the kind of guy that makes me want to know what adventure he is going to get into next.

I received a complimentary digital copy of this book through Partners in Crime Virtual Book Tours. My comments are an independent and honest review.
Profile Image for Katreader.
806 reviews40 followers
August 26, 2018
THE CHAIRMAN'S TOYS By Graham Reed

Jake Constable has given up his drug dealing ways and is trying to keep on the straight and narrow. Well, perhaps somewhat curvy and wide. He's been house sitting for the wealthy in Vancouver and gets talked into throwing a party at one of the fantastic mansions. The party gets out of hand, drugs are freely flowing, and the homeowner returns unexpectedly. Oh, and there's a dead body in the bathroom. Although the homeowner pretty much lets him off the hook, Jake still has to answer to his ex-wife, who got him the job. His former business partner, with whom he did not part on the best of terms, seems to be back in the picture, as well as the Chinese government. The curvy and wide has just gotten wider!

THE CHAIRMAN'S TOYS is simply a lot of fun. Jake Constable is a lovable loser. Sorry, Jake, but it's true. A former drug dealer, dependent on his ex-wife to find him jobs house-sitting mansions is not quite hero material. Yet, he's likable. He's a good friend, he's trying to be a better person, and he's funny. There's a smorgasbord of secondary characters including Chinese secret agents, a Norwegian drug dealer, and the Underwear King of Beijing! All of the characters are engaging and all have their idiosyncrasies adding to the fun. I particularly like Agent Wang.

THE CHAIRMAN'S TOYS is a fast paced romp through British Columbia. The writing is taut, the comedy is pithy, and the antics engaging. I thoroughly enjoyed this fun caperesque tale!

FTC Disclosure – The publisher sent me a copy of this book in the hopes I would review it.
Profile Image for Shelly.
Author 1 book36 followers
August 28, 2018
Growing up in small town USA, I enjoy a unique place to explore -- even if it's only inside a book! This book takes you on a journey full of excitement and oddities. Jake is one of those characters you can't help but like. Sure, he's made mistakes but he's trying to go on the straight and narrow. His ex-wife sets him up with a boring, no nonsense job of house-sitting. Old habits die hard and a party to spice things up is a must-have. Much to his chagrin, the small get-together turns into an all-out party of the century. Wild partying, destruction of property, drugs, and a dead body are only the start to the action. The homeowner, along with Jake's former distributor, show up right in the middle of the madness. Jake has developed skills to play detective in the mess he finds himself in; however, his 20-year-old antics are becoming more enticing by the minute. Definitely a unique read!

I received a complimentary copy of this book through Partners in Crime Virtual Book Tours. My review is 100% my own.
Profile Image for Mark Hudson.
1 review1 follower
August 4, 2018
Really enjoyable read. It puts an eclectic and quirky band of characters together in a roller-coastery trip through the underside of Vancouver, set off by an ill-advised and unauthorized house party in the mansion of a Chinese underwear magnate. Jake Constable is a super-likeable hero, who spends the book stumbling from corpse discovery to break-in to maritime kidnapping with a scotch- and tequila-mediated calm. The book welds a unique and funny kind of cynical, almost fatalist wit to scenes of constant calamity, all with a figure of perpetual menace (The Norwegian) looming throughout. The story is an entertaining ride through shady real-estate developing, drug-dealing, and the intrigues of the Communist Party of China, and it provides a fun scaffold for Jake's drily hilarious ruminations. Reed also does a great job making Vancouver, BC, into a live character, a rainy yin to the sunny yang of Carl Hiassen's Florida. Hope to see more of Constable in the future.
10.4k reviews174 followers
June 27, 2018
This would make a good movie. Jake's just messed up again, but this time it's on a big scale. His ex-wife is mad at him (nothing new) because he threw a party in a house he was watching for one of her clients but that's the least of his problems. Some of this is way out there - there are Chinese government agents, narco types, vengeful men, and a murder- but hey, that's what makes it fiction. It's a funny quick read. Thanks to edelweiss for the ARC. For fans of the crazy funny crime novel genre.
1 review2 followers
August 17, 2018
Yes, this book is funny and compelling. And yes, the tale is fast paced and lively, steering the reader far clear of the cliché and pottedness that afflicts so much of the genre. What impressed me most was the keen intelligence and command of the fun of language that shone through this debut novel. You’ll smile at author’s masterful turns of phrase while you delight in the wonderfully, deeply flawed cast of characters that Reed introduces us to. A dark comedy for the thinking person and an impressive first novel.
1 review
January 11, 2019
Characters and description that made me see intrigue everywhere and wonder what the person in the booth next to me was up to. This is a fun read that brought me back to the genre. An impressive debut.
Profile Image for Vivi Alfonso.
31 reviews2 followers
September 21, 2018
It was really hard for me to get through this book even though it was a short novel the story wasn’t all that interesting.
Profile Image for Heath Henwood.
299 reviews5 followers
June 21, 2018
Jake Constable is a drifter, currently as a house sitter for wealthy clients in Vancouver. During a out of control party, Jake discovers a dead guy in the bathroom, and a world of troubles begin.

Suddenly more enemies than friends, Jake must do some quick talking and side stepping to come out alive.

An easy read, that does not stretch the brain to follow. The characters and plot are not developed to any depth, leaving a fun and easy book to read.

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