By Jenni Haswell

February 21 is my 16th Auntieversary. You may be thinking, "Huh? What on earth is an Auntiversary?" It's the day that I became an aunt. It's not a celebrated holiday. My nieces and nephews don't say "Happy Auntieversary Auntie Jenni!" No. That day is my niece's birthday and it is about her, not me. But having my first niece turning 16 has (#1) made me feel kind of old and (#2) has made me look back on the past 16 years.

I was 14 when I became an Aunt so a lot has happened since then. I struggled with depression. I constantly thought about suicide. I graduated high school. I went to a college 7 hours away from home. I spent more time in the music building than anywhere else trying to prove that I deserved to be there. I graduated college (with a music degree). I was a missionary for 3 years. During those 3 years I was in counseling. I moved to Texas, then to California, and then Texas again. I met some of the most incredible people. I moved back in with my parents. Then I moved 6.5 hours away from home. I got my first full time "I'm now an adult" job. I got my first apartment. I had my heart broken. I made new friends. I gained more nieces and nephews.

And seriously, that list could go on and on. Like I said, A lot has happened in 16 years. So what have I learned during this time?

We all do things differently

No two aunts have the same personality nor do they do the same things. Just like everyone has different parenting styles, aunts have different "aunting" styles. Something to keep in mind: there's no right or wrong way. We all do things differently and that's okay. I would LOVE to be the kind of aunt that has the time and money to take them on grand vacations or spoil them way more than ever before. I would love to live closer to them and spend quality time with them. But those things aren't possible for me. So I spend time watching their life over Facebook, I text, I talk to my mom to see how they're doing, and when I do get to spend time with them, I don't want to see anyone else but my family. When I'm home I play games with them, eat meals with them, and generally just sit around laughing and enjoying their company. I've learned that the way that I'm an aunt is different from yours, and that's okay.

Playing favorites

I try to not have favorites. I know that I shouldn't have one. I don't know about you (and maybe I'm a terrible aunt for even proclaiming this to the world) but it is really hard! I make sure I spend the same amount of money on each of them for birthdays, Christmas, or those just because gifts. When I'm spending time with them, I try not to pay one more attention than the other. As soon as my niece's personality started showing when she was growing up, she was called my "Mini-Me". We have the same sense of humor and attitude. Her and I have a connection that there are just no words for. So for me, it is hard sometimes to not show favoritism. Hopefully I've done an okay job at it!
    
Watching them grow

I am amazed at watching these kids grow up. Watching their personalities shine. Hearing their stories about their first school dance. Watching them tease one another because of a boyfriend or girlfriend. Watching them argue as siblings do, and yet 5 minutes later watching one defend the other against bullies. As they grow, I am so immensely proud of them! Yes, they've made mistakes and have gotten into trouble quite a few times. But I beam with pride when I talk about them. It has been an honor to watch these kids grow up and I know there's a lot more growing for them to do!

You don't have to be related

I have one niece and one nephew that are related to me. I have 4 nieces, 2 nephews, and 2 more to be born this year that are by choice. Not all of them call me "aunt" but I don't care. I still consider them as my honorary nieces and nephews. And I am their ABC- Auntie by Choice. Yes, I love my related niece and nephew more (they are certainly the favorites), but all the honorary ones bring me SO much joy! I love hearing their little voices ask me to read their bed time story, invite me to a birthday party, get the biggest grin when I walk in the room, or take the phone from their mom and start "talking" to me. Just like I beam with pride talking about those related to me, I beam with pride talking about all the kids in my life.

Being an aunt has determined how I live my life

I make mistakes. I screw up. We all do. But the question I ask myself the most is, "Would my niece and nephew be proud of me for this?" There have been times that decisions have been based upon that question. I want to be someone in their lives that they can look to as a positive example. I want them to look at the way I live my life and be encouraged and gain strength. I want them to realize that if I was able to overcome what I have, they can too. I want them to be proud of their Auntie Jenni. I have become who I am today because of my role as an aunt.

Success

We all have different ideas of success. Maybe some of you want to be a wife and stay at home mom, a CEO, a millionaire, retire at the age of 55, travel around the world, pay off student loans, quit smoking, own a home, pay your bills every month, and the list continues. But I think we can all agree that being a successful aunt is very important to all of us. However even though we agree on that, how that happens for each of us will be different. Again, we all do things differently and we can certainly gather together in our Savvy Auntie community, exchange stores, encourage one another, and learn from each other.