Oprah Winfrey has a new, lengthy, insightful, tea-spilling interview in The Hollywood Reporter and, as the prophet Ice Cube once said, "I got to say it was a good day." Oprah Winfrey holding forth on whatever subject she deems suitable for her commentary—The Crown! Mayor Pete! Getting notes from CBS producers! Her spiritual closet!—is actually my life blood. Put words from Oprah into my eyeballs and you will see a person reborn! You know how in Black Panther, when T'Challa drinks the purple flower suddenly he's jumping over cars and shirtless wrestling Winston Duke on a waterfall? That's me when Oprah releases new content. APPROACH ME WINSTON DUKE! I AM READY.
As the media mogul is so faithful to do, Oprah casually dropped quotables and tidbits throughout her conversation. Here's some of the best parts which are singlehandedly responsible for getting me out of bed and pushing oxygen into my lungs today.
Oprah doesn't have time to watch TV. Except The Crown.
Okay, please prepare yourself for the most magnificent casual flex you will read all day. Oprah is asked by interviewer Lacey Rose how creative endeavors can be used for positive ends. Oprah answers the question and then has another idea. "TV is so good these days. I don't watch a lot because I have to watch a lot on my own channel, so the only other thing I watch is The Crown, and it's so good. I heard they just found a new Diana. The fact that I even know that…"
First of all, I am usually uninterested in people's excuses for why they don't watch TV, but the excuse "I'm busy watching my own network" is an advanced flex. A grand master flex. I bow. I'm going to incorporate this energy into my life.
You: Have you seen this meme?
Me: The internet is so good these days. I don't see a lot because I have so much great content on my own Twitter. Blessings.
The only thing Oprah watches, however, is The Crown, which is apropos as she is Queen of the United States. (A title she holds with Beyoncé and Michelle Obama; it's in the Constitution; look it up.) Not only does she watch it, however, she's up on the latest behind-the-scenes news, a fact that even she can't believe. The idea of Oprah being surprised at what wonders of trivia she pulls out of her perfect brain is an absolute delight. She's like, "I read on a blog a person's name. Can you believe I know this? My mind!"
Dear Oprah, you are hereby invited to be on my team at every Pub Quiz.
She has a nickname for Mayor Pete
Yes, Mayor Pete already has a nickname and that nickname is Mayor Pete. But the polyglot, cornfed snack has another nomenclature in House Winfrey. "I call him Buttabeep, Buttaboop," she says and before laughing. Then she casually drops an anecdote about this one time she was talking to Steven Spielberg about Mr. Buttaboop: "And I said, 'Have you heard of this Butta guy?' He goes, 'No, Butta-who?' I go, 'Buttabeep, Buttaboop. Look him up.'"
I have many questions about this.
First, if Oprah changes your name, doesn't it legally stay changed? Like, no paperwork involved or anything. Mayor Pete's birth certificate now magically reads Pete Buttabeep Buttaboop.
Second, what does Chasten think? I need information right away.
Third, can we talk about pronunciation? Is it Butta like "buttah" like Streisand butter? Or is it Butta like boot-a like Uta Hagen? [Here is where I insert and then delete my David Letterman-style "Oprah, Butta" joke.]
Fourth, this: "I like saying 'Butta.' (Laughs.)" Should this sentence win a Pulitzer Prize?
These are important queries so can someone have Oprah respond to me ASAP?
Speaking of names, she got some notes on hers from CBS.
Big mistake. Huge. She told Rose that she was no longer in a business relationship with 60 Minutes and it boiled down to some choice notes she was given. She says that though she enjoyed working with the team, it was "not the best format for me." She continues, "How should I say this? Never a good thing when I have to practice saying my name and have to be told that I have too much emotion in my name... I think I did seven takes on just my name because it was 'too emotional.' I go, 'Is the too much emotion in the 'Oprah' part or the 'Winfrey' part?'... So I was working on pulling myself down and flattening out my personality — which, for me, is actually not such a good thing."
First of all, the Knowing Your Own Worth energy in this anecdote is so strong. I need this entire quote stitched to a pillow. Part of the bedrock of Oprah's story is a lifetime of rooting herself in authenticity, even when those around her didn't or wouldn't understand the value in that. It's amazing that even at this stage she runs into it.
Also, I would pay to see an entire evening of Oprah saying her name emotionally. I understand the 60 Minutes format, as does Oprah clearly, but what I'm saying is I want 60 minutes of Oprah digging into her soul and pronouncing her own name. And possibly the word "Buttabeep." These are my needs.
I think the next Avengers movie should just be three hours of the 75 Hollywood stars in the movie trying their best to say Oprah's name emotively. Finally, a project worthy of a Michelle Pfeiffer cameo! Pom Klementieff, it's your time to shine! Tom Holland: I believe in you.
Oprah uses the word "Hateration"
When asked about the blowback to her involvement in the After Neverland, a companion to the Leaving Neverland documentary, Oprah had this to say: "Honeeeeey, I haven't had that much hateration since 'The Puppy Episode' with Ellen." Of all the words available to her, Oprah reached in her perfect brain, pushed aside The Crown trivia, and pulled out Mary J. Blige's "hateration." Attention must be paid!
Also, hats off to the Hollywood Reporter copy editor who let those five e's in Honeeeeey stay in the text despite what the style guide might say. They're doing so much work here and it's breathtaking.
She had a very important reason for taking the role in A Wrinkle In Time
"I wanted to go to New Zealand and wear the costumes," she says.
Honeeeeey, same.
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