FATHER'S DAY

Why do childless men bottle up their grief and pain?

“All I ever wanted was to be a dad.” Sarfraz Manzoor talks to men about what happens when they can’t create the family they dreamt of. They share their emotional — and rarely heard — journeys

The Sunday Times
Mark, 39, had always dreamt of having kids, but after a “heartbreaking” IVF experience with his partner, has faced up to life without children
Mark, 39, had always dreamt of having kids, but after a “heartbreaking” IVF experience with his partner, has faced up to life without children
GARETH PHILLIPS FOR THE SUNDAY TIMES MAGAZINE

Today, happy chaps will be spotted in pub gardens up and down the country sporting “Best dad in the world” T-shirts and lapping up the attention of their adoring kids. But for many couples who want children but can’t have them, looking at these happy family scenes, Father’s Day will hold a painful note. Much has been written about the deep sense of anxiety and grief felt by many childless women, but what of the men who find themselves in these circumstances?

“The biggest myth about male childlessness is that men are not bothered about not being fathers,” says Dr Robin Hadley, an academic who has gathered information on hundreds of childless men for his research. “It is often purported that women are broody and