We never know how God will weave the threads of today.
Three years ago, my son began his freshman year at our state university, moving into an off-campus scholarship house with 15 others boys. His roommate turned out to be my friend’s son who had just transferred to the university.
“Let’s cook dinner for the boys,” she suggested.
This friend. She’s always been so purposeful, intentionally looking for ways to pour into others and connect with neighbors, friends, and her children. Knowing that home cooking is the way to every college boy’s heart, we quadrupled our favorite casseroles, loaded up our mini-vans, and headed to our alma mater to cook and serve dinner to these college students.
Our mission was simple: get to know our boys’ housemates and bless them with good food.
And so our tradition began. Each semester, we’d drive down and serve a buffet of our best home cookin’.
We gave warm hugs along with seconds and thirds. We learned names, talked majors, and heard about families back home. While some students drifted in from classes and out to meetings, most lingered long after dinner was cleaned up, sprawling on the mismatched couches and worn carpet to swap stories and play games.
Then came the unthinkable.
Just after the house closed up last summer and the boys had scattered to hometowns and summer jobs, a tragic accident took the life of a young housemate, Bryan. When fall rolled around, we wove in a new thread — we invited Bryan’s parents to join us for our home cookin’ nights.
In the wake of their own loss, Bryan’s parents reached out to his housemates and joined us.
You can imagine it’s terribly hard to love on some college kids while you’re nearly crippled from missing your own. But nervous anxiety for both boys and parents gave way to healing. With students crammed onto couches and perched around the room’s perimeter, Bryan’s parents opened up about the accident and their hope in Christ. In return, students unearthed stories of Bryan, filling in for his parents the memories missing from his year at college.
And then just days before Christmas break, more hard news came . My friend’s son, Daniel, had gone to the infirmary after feeling a lump and, after testing, was told he had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He would graduate and start chemo before his career.
Our own family had been walking the hard, after my husband passed away unexpectedly when my son, Nick, was 16.
We three moms came together again that spring to cook for the boys. Our simple mission to cook for some college boys had knit us together as we now encouraged each other in the hard.
Sometimes we ask what God is doing? Why all this suffering in one house of boys? All three living hard for the Lord.
I don’t think we yet know. Those threads are still being woven and we may not understand the whole masterpiece this side of life.
In the college world, where life can seem boundless but feel vacuous, perhaps these dinners are a window into life that is hard but full of hope. For we do not grieve as those having no hope. {see 1 Thessalonians 4:13}
It’s not just our shared hard that binds us together but our shared hope.
And the threads God is weaving today may be the community He uses tomorrow.
Leave a Comment
Michele Morin says
Oh, Lisa, there is redemption all throughout this post like like confetti sprinkles on a beautiful dessert. Thank you for reassuring me today that even the darkest and most crippling losses in our lives can be turned inside out in His great mercy. Thank you for choosing to live in this redemption even though you, too, have walked the hard path of loss and grief.
Augusta says
Yes a sharing of food that brings hope even in times of pain.God Bless you all.
Lisa Appelo says
Thank you, Augusta. Food sure helps build a bridge with college kids. 🙂
Wendee Brown says
What a powerful message. The older I get, I see that the threads of life work their way in and through this journey. Some of those threads we are allowed to see as beautiful…still some are mysteriously interwoven and remain in question. But what comfort knowing that He is doing the weaving…not us.
Lisa Appelo says
Wendee, we see as through a glass darkly…what a joy when we get to see all that God has been weaving!
Lisa Appelo says
Michele, thank Goodness for his mercy and purpose. <3
Adria says
Wow! An amazing story. Thanks for sharing. We don’t know what the plan or design God has for our future but He always has us in mind. He knew that all the moms would need each other for support long after the college days. God is so good!
Lisa Appelo says
Our pain has been different, and the grief for each of us is different, but there has also been understanding in the hugs and tears we’ve shared. <3 Thank you, Adria.
Deb says
Thank you for sharing your faith filled story. How heartbreaking yet your faith inspires.
I’m encouraged by your thought of how our lives are threaded by God as I go thru my own tragic loss of my marriage. The betrayal and heartbreak are shattering yet I know God will piece it all back together.
Lisa Appelo says
I’m so sorry for such a deep loss, Deb. I have not walked where you are walking but this I’ve learned: God has beauty and hope and life for us in Chapter 2. God will lovingly mend every shattered piece because you are so valuable to him.
Valerie says
What a beautiful testimony of God’s hope shining through each of you during such sad times. It’s these kind of inspirational moments when God’s people showi love during the most painful times that show there’s only one place that kind of hope and love can possibly come from—God! He gives hope when all seems hopeless. God bless you!
Lisa Appelo says
That’s it exactly, Valerie! It’s a humbling thing to walk back into a house of college boys with a mom who’s lost her own boy, who should be there, who has left a gaping hole. I’ve watched this mom and dad pour back into kids’ lives because of they can trade in hopelessness for hope every day.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Lisa,
Your beautiful post reminds me of how many times Jesus had fellowship with people around a meal. Even the Last Supper is so inspiring in it’s simplicity. Sometimes a hot casserole says love like nothing other. What a heartwarming tradition that turned into a healing ministry. No, we don’t understand why God weaves things together like He does, but we can trust the Weaver’s hand. He is good and He is love. Some days that needs to be our enough. Thanks so much for sharing!
Blessings,
Bev
Lisa Appelo says
It is enough to trust Him. This every single day. Thank you, Bev. xoxo
Tracie says
What a beautiful story of community.
Lisa Appelo says
I’m so grateful for a friend who spurred us on to create that community…to get to know those kids.
Nancy Ludrick says
Our giving to others and helping them we find therapy and help for both them and ourself! The pain of grief is just so physically painful. My son, the oldest of six took his life when a freshman at Texas A&M. That was in1984 and yet whenever I read stories of grief and loss I go rushing back to that time, remembering the severity of the symptoms and once again looking for answers. It is as though I belong to a group.God has brought me so far and my other children as well but heavy scars were left which impaired communication. I know our Lord has purpose and came to rely on Isaiah 26:3 for my help!
Lisa Appelo says
Oh Nancy, sending you much love. I don’t think I every could have understood before that 30+ years do not erase such a deep loss. Our only peace in those kinds of tragedy are to keep our minds stayed on God and look for His hand even there. Praying for your mom heart even now.
Libby says
Thank you for this. We do not grieve as those having no hope. It is ok to grieve but we focus on or hope in Christ who is our hope and peace. I have learned this as of lately with the death of my parents. I live this in the big and small disappointments of life. Thank you for the reminder of sharing Jesus’s love throug relationships.
Lisa Appelo says
Libby, yes, we do grieve for sure, but always breathing in and out the hope we have in Christ.
Stephanie says
This really hits home for me. Last September I finally felt that I had my son back because he was being discharged from the army after serving three years. Nine months were spent in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, he didn’t adapt well and committed suicide in May.
JT says
Stephanie, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I can’t even imagine the pain you must be experiencing, but I pray that God will give you glimpses of hope each day and that He will surround you with people to help you through this difficult season.
Lisa Appelo says
My words fall far short, Stephanie, but I’m am so sorry for such a huge loss of your son. I’ve prayed for you, trusting you to God…praying you feel his strong love today. Deuteronomy 33:27.
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JT says
This is beautiful. Looking back, I can see why God has placed specific people in my life at specific times. He lovingly surrounds us with people to not only share our joys with, but people who will be able to support us when life gets hard (if we are willing to let them into our pain). In the midst of darkness, sometimes it takes just a little bit of hope to help us keep walking.
Lisa Appelo says
Yes…so grateful God put us in community and that we have others who can pray for us, cry with us, laugh with us and just walk us through the hard.
Jennifer Waddle says
Such a lovely story! I find it so wonderful and remarkable that those boys were tender toward their moms, inviting them in time and time again.
Thank you for sharing!
Lisa Appelo says
They love it, Jennifer! It’s become a circled spot on the calendar because lots of mom-cooked food! But you’re right..I remember a warning at orientation that our college kids might push us away but we get and give hugs to every single boy (and girls too!) in the houses when we come.
Rebecca L Jones says
I am sorry for your loss. we don’t always see the plans of the enemy but God turns it for good. Even grown up children need that mother love whether they’s admit it or not. What a wonderful way to minister His love to young men. It should be done on all college campuses.
Lisa Appelo says
Rebecca, it’s become a cherished tradition for all of us!
Beth Williams says
Lisa,
What a heart warming story. Yes home cooked food is always welcomed at colleges. It helps young people know that someone cares for them. Thanks for being the hands and feet of Jesus for these young men. ” It’s not just our shared hard that binds us together but our shared hope. ” College students want and need that comfort, especially during trying times. God blessed you three women with friendship and bond that will last a lifetime! May God continue to heal each of your hearts and souls!
Blessings 🙂
Lisa Appelo says
Thank you, Beth.
Theresa says
What a beautiful story of you cooking for and blessing these boys in ways you will never fully know. Years later they will still be remembering the kindness, love, food, and friendship you extended to them. Things like this change you and them.
Lisa Appelo says
I never would have understood that when we first set out to cook for them, Theresa, but you are right.
Kristi Woods says
What a sweet, sweet idea and ministry all wrapped in one. I’m so sorry these boys and you parents had to face these hard and tragic life situations, but I’m glad you had Jesus and food. You’re planting seeds in my own mind for our kids’ future college years. Love it and thank you!
Lisa Appelo says
It’s a great tradition, Kristi! I hope you have some fellow moms that you can join together with!
Laura Smith says
Wow, what a story! That is fantastic-a healing community-a church really, born out of love for one another and hope in Jesus. Thank you for sharing!
Lisa Appelo says
Yes, the body of Christ in fullness. <3
Keri McCue says
I love how God uses things like a simple dinner tradition to bless so many others. I love that He uses the little things and He begins to use them long before we even realize what is happening. I love this story and the community that is portrayed here! What a blessed group of young men to have moms like you all! This is such a wonderful reminder to live intentionally in everything you do!
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Carrie says
There is nothing like breaking bread together. But this was so much more than that. Thank you for sharing! What an amazing testimony to God’s work through decisions we make. Nothing is wasted.