An apple on a stick, enrobed in some sort of sugary, sticky substance, is a delightful fall treat. The two most common options for apples are a bright red candy coating or a rich, buttery caramel, and one is clearly better than the other.
Competition
The Caramel Apple
The caramel apple is a symphony of flavors with tart, crisp apples acting as a perfect counterbalance to rich, sweet caramel.
The Candy Apple
The candy apple is an apple that is coated in a very hard, very vivid red sugar shell.
The Caramel Apple: It’s delicious and perfect!
As mentioned earlier, the caramel apple is a perfectly balanced confection. The hint of malic acid provided by the fruit cuts through the buttery confection, keeping you coming back for more until all that remains is a sticky stick. Caramel apples are a little messy to eat, but sticky strings of caramel provide an element of whimsy to the consumption process.
The Candy Apple: It’s dumb!
The candy apple is a one-note, difficult to eat piece of fruit with a too-hard, artificially colored sugar coating. Sometimes there is cinnamon involved, but that doesn’t really help. Candy apples are annoying to make, hard to eat, and just not worth the trouble. They’re also red, the color of communism, which I’m actually kind of a fan of but—let’s face it—is anti-American. Basically, candy apples are the ribbon candy of the apple world; they’re pretty to look at, cloying, and beloved by the elderly. I have been told that the experience of “breaking through the hard red shell to the soft apple” is a joyous one, but I was told this by a man from New England, which is suspiciously close to New Jersey, the birthplace of this violently red specimen.
Verdict: Caramel Apples, duh
Not only are caramel apples easier on your teeth and better tasting, but they inspire culinary creativity and innovation. Is there a candy apple Oreo? Nay. That distinction belongs to the caramel apple. No one gives out candy apple pops on Halloween, do they? No, they hand out these delights. Basically, a caramel apple is a very good-tasting, wonderful treat, and a candy apple is a cloying farce probably invented by a dentist who needed to drum up some business.