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336 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 11, 2017
I wonder if she still thinks of me as much as I do her. I wonder if she knows she’s the only reason I’m still breathing, still fighting, and still holding on.
“I can’t leave you alone and I can’t move on because you’re everything to me. You always have been and you always will be, and I know damn well you feel the same, even if you want to stand here, look me right in the fucking eyes, and lie to me.”
I wonder if she still thinks of me as much as I do her. I wonder if she knows she’s the only reason I’m still breathing, still fighting, and still holding on.
How much can a man take before he breaks? When do the dreams stop giving him comfort and he has to accept that he’ll never see her again, touch her again or hear her say “I love you” again?
I’m broken and scarred and half the man I used to be, but if she’ll let me explain, I hope to God she can put me back together again.
I hug him tighter, one last touch of his warm body against mine, one last second of feeling his heart beating with mine. I take it all in and shove it into the compartment in my brain reserved just for him, where I can take it out whenever I want and remember this moment. This one moment where I could pretend, for just a few seconds, that this could be my life. Wrapped up in this man who went through hell and found his way back to me.
He makes me feel whole, he closes up wounds while at the same time ripping them wide open…and I never want it to stop.
I would do anything for Eli, anything he asks, and that includes breaking myself wide open and letting him see all of my scars, inside and out.
I’m standing here in this room, alive and breathing and fighting because of YOU! Because in between the torture and the beatings and the fucking hell, year after year, I couldn’t get you out of my head. I didn’t WANT to get you out of my head. Your smell, your smile, your laugh, your taste, your touch… it’s the only fucking thing that made me want to wake up every damn day and to go through that shit again and again. Thinking about you and fighting to get back to you is the only I could fucking survive.
How much can a man take before he breaks?
1,843 days. That's how long I survived in that hellhole. They tried to break me, but I resisted. And I owe it all to the memory of warm summer nights, the scent of peaches, and the one woman who loved me more than I ever deserved to be loved. Now, I'll do anything to get back to her.
Only Shelby Eubanks isn't the girl I left behind all those years ago. She's someone else, a stranger. My Shelby would never give up her dreams, would never disappear into her mother's ambitions. But I won't give up on her. On us. I may be broken, and scarred, and not the man I used to be, but I will do whatever it takes to remind her of the story of us.
How many people lose someone they love, knowing they’ll never see them again, never touch them again, never hear their voice again, only to find out it was all a mistake? How many people wish they could turn back the clock in time os they could look into their loved one’s eyes, run their hands down the side of their loved one’s face, and hear them speak? It’s a dream that everyone who’s lost someone has. A dream that slowly turns into a nightmare you feel like you’ll never wake up from. Something you know is impossible, but you can’t stop obsessing about. I’ve prayed and I’ve screamed and I’ve cried, wanting the impossible, and now I have it.
He’s alive.
I’ve become this numb shell of a woman I don’t even recognize anymore for a man who probably only used me, but I don’t know how to stop. He left this town without saying good-bye and then he left this earth without giving me closure. He left me to pick up the pieces and protect his family and his name and I hate him for that. I’ve allowed someone else to make all my decisions, rule my life and crush my dreams because I don’t know how to stop loving him more than I hate him.
"I meant everything I said in my first few letters. I love you. Only you. Always you…”
Five years, two weeks, four days, and nine hours ...
I wonder if she knows she's the only reason I'm still breathing, still fighting, and still holding on.
THE STORY OF US was such a heartbreakingly beautiful 2nd-chance lovestory! Full of sadness & grief & hopelessness, but also so full of love & hope!!! Just perfect!
Please run to your nearest amazon for your own Eli - this one is MINE! And don't forget to order a huge box of tissues while you're at it! ☺
Five years, two weeks, four days, and nine hours ...
I wonder if she knows she's the only reason I'm still breathing, still fighting, and still holding on.
THE STORY OF US was such a heartbreakingly beautiful 2nd-chance lovestory! Full of sadness & grief & hopelessness, but also so full of love & hope!!! Just perfect!
Please run to your nearest amazon for your own Eli - this one is MINE! And don't forget to order a huge box of tissues while you're at it! ☺
“I’m dying.
I’m alive.
I can’t breathe.
I’m whole.”
““Go away! Take your lies and your fucking Ryan Gosling references and shove them up your ass!” she finishes, rounding the doorway and moving out of sight.”
“She makes the bad all go away, and that’s exactly where it needs to stay.”
“The walls have officially crumbled on this house of lies and I’m finished. I’m done being taken advantage of and used for everyone else’s agendas. This is my life and it’s about damn time I start living it again and making my own damn decisions.”
“Life’s too short to fight a war you can’t win, son, no matter how wrong it is or how angry you are. Pick one you can win.”
“Two broken pieces don’t make a whole. They just make a bigger fucking mess for someone to clean up. You don’t need any more messes in your life and all the time in the world isn’t going to fix mine.”
I’ve died a thousand times over the years, all for him.
I’m broken and scarred and half the man I used to be, but if she’ll let me explain, I hope to God she can put me back together again.
I’ve waited long enough. Shelby is the main reason I’m still here, alive and kicking, and it’s time she knows that. It’s time for me to take back what was always meant to be mine.
“You saved me, Shelby,” I whisper, pressing my forehead against hers. “For five years, you saved me, and you didn’t even know it. Now it’s my turn to save you.”
“I can’t leave you alone and I can’t move on because you’re everything to me. You always have been and you always will be, and I know damn well you feel the same, even if you want to stand here, look me right in the fucking eyes, and lie to me.”
…
“I don’t give a shit if you’re with someone else, he’ll never love you the way I do. He’ll never fight for you the way I do and he’ll never fucking see you the way I do!”
“I’d rather be a complete mess with you than spend another day shattered all over the floor alone.”
“I’d rather be a complete mess with you than spend another day shattered all over the floor alone.”~ Shelby.
“I’m dying.
I’m alive.
I can’t breathe.
I’m whole.”
““Go away! Take your lies and your fucking Ryan Gosling references and shove them up your ass!” she finishes, rounding the doorway and moving out of sight.”
“She makes the bad all go away, and that’s exactly where it needs to stay.”
“The walls have officially crumbled on this house of lies and I’m finished. I’m done being taken advantage of and used for everyone else’s agendas. This is my life and it’s about damn time I start living it again and making my own damn decisions.”
“Life’s too short to fight a war you can’t win, son, no matter how wrong it is or how angry you are. Pick one you can win.”
“Two broken pieces don’t make a whole. They just make a bigger fucking mess for someone to clean up. You don’t need any more messes in your life and all the time in the world isn’t going to fix mine.”