Top tips for surviving motherhood: You got this Mamas

As we approach the New Year of 2020 (gosh how quickly did this come around?), we often focus on our goals for the New Year or how we want our life to be different. Maybe you are a bit like me where you are quick to think of all the great things you want to achieve next year and the positive changes you will be making to bring yourself closer to your ideal self. Being a coach I think that self development is so important and starting the new year with new objectives fills you up with a sense of excitement of what is to come and what you can achieve for yourself. 

However, I equally think that it’s super important to celebrate yourself and acknowledge all you have done so far. I mean what better time to celebrate than December right? I can see you hmm-ing and thinking “I haven’t completed all that I said I would” or “I have only lost 2 of the 5kgs I wanted to shed” or even “Achievements? What achievements, I’m barely making it through day by day”. But believe you me, even making it through the day is an achievement worth acknowledging. 

As mothers or even women we have the tendency to be quite harsh to ourselves in general. We beat ourselves up when we are not perfect, have not done what we should do or when we haven’t been superwoman. Let’s face it, superwoman is a myth. Yes, maybe this mother looks like she has got it all under control and is floating on a cloud of confidence and calm. Who knows, maybe she does have it under control at this point in time because she has support from family, nannies, cleaners etc. But I can assure you that she  too has her own issues that she is dealing with. Everyone has them – they are just different. So for this month, let’s all make a pact. Let’s stop comparing, let’s stop beating ourselves up for not doing what we should be doing and just celebrate us. 

I really want you to take the time to honour yourself this month. As mothers we are often rushing through life, moving from one task to another and yet feeling that there is so much more to do. We never really stop to think – wow I have done this today and kept my children fed and alive. We do not stop and we keep giving ourselves more and more things to do. I know I am guilty of that. I have had some major achievements this year and I did not take time to properly acknowledge them because of all the new ideas that popped up in my mind that I could not (no the truth is did not) want to delay. Everything felt pressing. That meant that I didn’t properly celebrate my book being published or me getting certified as there was always more to do. And what a shame that is! Especially since I dedicated so much time, energy and effort into making these things happen. 

You got this!

So let’s just stop and acknowledge our journey. It’s a form of self care to really give yourself credit for what you have accomplished – no matter how little the task may feel to you. Pat yourself on the back because you bloody well deserve it and also because, maybe, no one else may do it if you don’t. Be proud of what you achieved. If you are not too sure where to start, here are my 3 top tips:

1. At the end of each day make a list of at least three things that you are proud to have done today. It can be anything from waking up and looking after your little one, even though you are feeling tired, to having exercised for the day or finishing a work deliverable. At the end of this little exercise, put your hand on your heart and breathe in love for yourself. 
2. If a little voice pops up telling you that you could have done more. Thank it and say “I did the best that I could today and there is nothing else to say. I have all the time I need to do everything else”. Be kind to yourself life happens and everything cannot always run like clockwork. Speak to yourself as you would to your best friend.
3. Make a list of ten things that brings you joy and love doing. Make it a mix of small things like your favourite show or a walk in the park to your favourite chocolate. Reward and treat yourself this month with all your favourite things. Don’t hold back. This is the month to indulge and treat yourself. But also think of how you can weave these lovely things regularly into your life in the new year.

Actually I think that superwoman is not a myth. I personally believe that we are all superwomen for showing up each day and being there for our littlest loves despite everything else that is going on.

Always find the time for self care and connect with other like minded mothers.

Angy Tsafos is a life coach and energy worker at the NET Life. Using NLP, coaching, reiki and other techniques, Angy is passionate about empowering and nurturing women  to thrive by leading a more  positive life away from stress, anxiety, guilt, harsh inner critic and limiting beliefs. You can find more information at www.thenetlife.co.uk or follow her at the_net_life on Instagram. 

Pictures by Viola Carnelos Photography