The lights at CHS Field did not explode and shower Kevin Millar with sparks Saturday night as he rounded the bases for a Hollywood home run only this 45-year-old idiot and New England folk hero could naturally appreciate.
One of the Saints’ original dreamers and court jester of the 2004 World Series champion Boston Red Sox turned back the clock to 1993 in a cameo at bat for the ages during St. Paul’s game against the Winnipeg Goldeyes.
Facing his first live pitching in seven years, Millar belted a two-run home run in the bottom of the second inning, bringing awestruck fans to their feet and his teammates-for-a-night to their knees in unworthy worship.
“You’ve got to be kidding!” starting pitcher Mark Hamburger barked as Millar smiled through his gray goatee and ran a gantlet of head slaps and sunflower seeds in the Saints dugout.
“That’s unbelievable!” screamed manager George Tsamis, who wrapped Millar in a bear hug.
“I don’t know what just happened,” Millar responded. “It must have been the smelling salts!”
The amiable host of MLB Network’s “Intentional Talk” show, in which Millar interviews current players via satellite from ballparks around the big leagues, has material for the rest of the season after being mic’d up for the homecoming.
His last professional at-bat was another novelty act for the independent baseball franchise that revolutionized ballpark entertainment. The American Association sanctioned Millar to suit up as designated hitter for one official plate appearance.
Rick Forney, manager of the defending champion Goldeyes, signed off on Millar’s appearance months ago. But when word reached him that Millar was angling for more than one at-bat, Forney complained to the league office, which told the Saints to throw the old dog one bone and one bone only.
So Tsamis penciled him in at seventh after Millar warmed up with some soft toss. He last played for the Saints in 2010 after failing to secure a big-league job with the Chicago Cubs out of spring training.
His modest expectations belied those of his four children.
“All they said was, ‘Daddy, hit a home run.’ Are you kidding?” he said. “I thought maybe I’d make contact and get a ball out of the infield. I’ll let them know Daddy went deep.”
Millar guessed fastball on a 1-0 pitch and connected off Winnipeg left-hander Zack Dodson, powering the ball through a stiff wind blowing in from left field and off the back of the Goldeyes bullpen.
“He shook twice, so I figured he was coming back to the fastball,” Millar said. “That was pretty cool.”
The Saints feted Millar and the rest of their inaugural team as the club celebrates its 25th anniversary season in St. Paul. The Southern California native and current resident of Austin, Texas, still has a soft spot in his heart for what the Saints afforded him.
“That’s why I wanted to come back here in 2010 — to let the guys know you have an opportunity in this uniform,” Millar said. “Without the Saints, I would never be a big-leaguer. I was just a regular guy. But if you believe in something, go for it.”
Millar already had played junior college and for Lamar University before a tryout with the Saints opened doors.
Before he had the pleasure of making $600 a month in St. Paul, the young third baseman had to fight for playing time. Millar went to manager Tim Blackwell and threatened to leave the team if he did not get off the bench.
The story goes Blackwell took Millar up on his challenge and started him at third base for a week. He committed three errors in the first inning of his first game but came over the top with four hits.
A solid second half of the season drew the attention of the Marlins. In August, Florida signed Millar, pitcher John Thoden and outfielder Rick Hirtensteiner to minor league contracts. Only Millar made it up to the Marlins in 1998.
He went on to 12 major league seasons with Florida, Boston, Baltimore and Toronto. He hit .247 with 170 home runs and 699 runs batted in and earned more than $20 million over his big-league career, according to baseballreference.com.
But it was his three seasons playing first base for the once-cursed Red Sox that defined his unlikely career and ensured he will never have to buy a drink in Beantown again.
He famously said the Red Sox needed to “cowboy up” before rallying from three games down to defeat their longtime tormentors, the New York Yankees, in the American League Championship Series. Millar dubbed his teammates “idiots” as they chortled past St. Louis in the World Series.
“We were just grinders,” he recalled. “We didn’t have what the Yankees had. The Red Sox can win 10 more (championships). But we were the first one in 86 years.”
Millar cowboyed up one more time before riding off into the sunset.
