It’s that season again where I have to remind my fellow men:
No lobsters on the pants unless you’re literally holding corn on the cob at the moment you’re wearing them
No anchors, sails or flags on the belt unless you’re a Kennedy
Brown shoes with white soles are for beta males
Seersucker always looks like s*** in real life, only works on the mannequin, don’t be the one in your group who thinks they can “pull it off” this summer - you cannot
Madras is lame, also never looks good IRL, only on the website
Waxing is not as traumatic as it looks, they can do just your shoulders and upper back in under 20 minutes, don’t be shy - make an appointment and go
Nothing sleeveless if you can’t curl 30 lb dumbbells at a minimum, otherwise no one wants to see your spaghetti arms
No sunglass cord around your neck - if you lose them it wasn’t meant to be, if they’re Oakleys try to lose them intentionally before someone offers you a minor league baseball contract
Leather shoes without socks is disgusting and I will have you arrested (boat shoes and driving mocs excluded but please consider a modern no-show liner if possible)
No flip flops on an airplane and for god’s sake get a pedicure once a month until Labor Day - I’ve been told the first thing women notice is the hands and feet, it’s evolutionary, either way don’t have claws or talons it’s 2024
Thank you for being civilized this season.
Financial Advisor
5yThis is amazing!