Dear Son I Hope You Fail

(Editor's Note: This story about his son, Jarrett, "coming of age" as a deer hunter is republished courtesy Daryl Ratajczak, the former Chief of Wildlife Management for the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency. Ratajczak now works as a Wildlife Biologist for the U.S. Forest Service in New Mexico. You can read more of Ratajczak's writing on his Nemophilosophy Blog.

His over-sized blaze-orange coat hung down to just above his knees. Actually, it wasn’t his at all. It was mine. The fact was, it was a whole lot cheaper dressing my son in my old hand-me-downs rather than buying him new hunting gear every year. The kid was growing like a weed.

It wasn’t but a half-dozen years ago I started taking him with me. At first he spent most of his time sleeping at my side. He never really was much of an early riser so staying awake in the stand or blind was often difficult. I didn’t mind. And apparently my arm made an excellent pillow.

I did make sure I always kept him warm though, so that probably played into his coziness. Down jacket, thermal underwear, two pairs of socks, and of course, the hand-warmers. Always had to have the hand-warmers. He had them in every pocket, even pockets he could barely reach. Thanks heavens they sold those things in bulk.

That’s always the hardest part of deer hunting, staying warm, especially when the frost is playing tag with your fingers and toes. It wasn’t the cold that usually woke him though, it was the sun. Sometimes it’s just too dang bright to sleep.

After a while basking in the sun’s glorious rays, I could see life coming into his young innocent mind. It usually started with the twitching of his eyes. Slowly he would become more aware. And soon he’d come to realize where he was. A yawn at first. Then it started with the questions.

When are the deer coming Dad?

Why didn’t you wake me?

When are we going to have breakfast?

What causes the leaves to turn yellow?

When are the deer coming Dad?

I had a whispered response for every one of them. Isn't it funny how the deer are always coming "soon."

Days like this I cherished for I knew one day they would end. My son grew into an amazing shot and it sure wasn’t on account of me. Maybe it was those video games he played in his spare time. He killed a deer every year from the time he was eight until the time he was fourteen. Some year’s he killed more than one deer but he only took one shot each and every time. And I was there every time, usually coaching him. Whispering in his ear...hold still until he comes a bit closer, wait until he’s broadside, just relax and breathe, hold steady, and finally fire when ready.

Without a doubt I enjoyed those times, probably even more so than he. So when the day finally came, I was crushed. We had just made it to the blind we were going to hunt when he turned and said, "Dadis it okay if I hunt by myself today?"

I knew it was coming. I just didn’t want it to come so quickly. Days at first, and then years. They drifted quickly by like a sparrow song in the wind.

I walked away and sat alone for the first time in many years. I was just up the hill of course. Close enough to keep an eye on him, yet far enough to leave him alone. And I sat and scribbled some notes on a pad I always kept handy. And as I sat and watched my son in the distance, I wished for him to fail.

To my son and my long-time best hunting partner...

I HOPE YOU FAIL

I HOPE YOU FAIL to get discouraged after a long hard day in the woods and not seeing a dang thing. Animals spend every waking minute of their lives out there; they know what's going on. They know who is in their living room especially if it's a loud smelly intruder that pays no mind to the wind or to their movements. Remember, the loud clumsy cat catches no mice. Once you learn to mind your movements YOU WILL SUCCEED at seeing more game.

I HOPE YOU FAIL to get discouraged when you miss a shot. It is going to happen no matter how good of aim you think you may have. Adrenaline is a real thing and a live animal in your crosshairs often creates a deluge of uncontrollable energy. And don't forget, animals move unpredictably at times, so risky shots need not be taken. That animal is giving its life for your pursuit, it deserves nothing less than a quick clean kill. Once you learn to control your emotions and take ethical shots YOU WILL SUCCEED at making good clean kills.

I HOPE YOU FAIL to get discouraged at what others may think of what you kill. This is a life lesson more than a hunting lesson. There will always be someone wanting to put you down for whatever reason. This includes not only those that don't like hunting but some of the most passionate hunters as well. Why? Because humans are imperfect and they are showing their flaws instead of yours. Be proud of all your actions, especially your kills. You are the only one pulling the trigger. If it's not something that makes you happy, don't pull the trigger. Once you learn to be happy with your decisions YOU WILL SUCCEED at having a successful hunt regardless of the outcomes.

I HOPE YOU FAIL to do it all alone. Though some prefer to hunt by themselves the outdoors is much more meaningful when it is shared. Much can be learned from those who have worn and tattered boots and locks of gray, grizzled hair for they have undoubtedly failed numerous times but are wiser from each mistake. Listen well but think critically. They will teach you life lessons and ways of the woods but you need to apply your own knowledge to what they speak. Once you learn to listen more and speak less YOU WILL SUCCEED at gaining wisdom and becoming a true student of the forest.

Last but not least

I HOPE YOU FAIL so that you can learn to SUCCEED in all that you do.

Good luck out there and enjoy the hunt.

(You can also follow Ratajczak on his Facebook page.)