Yesterday, news broke that Gravel-Voiced Zaddy Idris Elba is bringing his snack buffet to Tom Hooper's new film version of Cats. As a Snack Cat. A kibble (or a bit). Producers have not announced which cat he'll play, but let me be the first to say I don't care at all. Idris is going to throw on some spandex and sing and maybe lick himself a little bit and I'm putting myself on bed rest from the excitement. What cat is he playing in Cats? The cat of my dreams. Idris Elba could play Garfield and I'd be like, "Yas, zaddy, cancel Mondays! Smother me with lasagna! Nermal is a narc!"
Idris Elba doesn't even have to be playing a cat at all. He can play anything he wants. Idris Elba could get cast as the plums that were in the icebox which you were probably saving, and I'd be like, "This is just to say, Idris is delicious. Give him a Golden Globe."
Idris joins previously announced castmates Jennifer Hudson, Taylor Swift, and James Corden in the big-screen take on the long-running musical about alley cats, their existential crises, and how high they can jump. Confidential between you, me, and Taylor's voting record, I really don't understand how this movie is going to work. Will the performers be doing motion capture? Will it be animated? Will there be wigs?!
They are humans playing actual li'l kitty cats, and I just have a lot of questions from a basic, logistical point of view.
But let's presume that this will be a live-action film in which Taylor Swift and James Corden put on furry coats and learn feline choreography. What will Idris wear? Well, it turns out he's been cosplaying the Cats lewk for years:
But one fur-lined collar does not a Cats cat make. What is he, playing Natasha in The Great Comet? (Would watch.) No—Cats, the musical, is probably best known for its striped and calico'd skintight outfits, and I am praying to all that is holy that Idris will soon squeeze all 6'3" of his scrumptious goodness into a size extra-sexy spandex body-oddy-oddy-suit. The public needs it.
In order to give Idris a better sense of what that might look like, I was going to Photoshop Idris' head on to the body of a bunch of models wearing spandex tights or bodysuits, but then I was like, "What if I just posted some pictures of spandex tights and bodysuits and then accompanied them with shirtless GIFs of Idris Elba and everyone just uses their imagination to combine the two?"
This is truly investigative journalism.
Okay!
Lewk #1
Here's a bodysuit that is telling a color story which maybe isn't cat-adjacent, but I feel like Idris should screen test it just in case.
And here is Idris Elba shirtless!
Lewk #2
Again, I am not totally sure that these suggestions are helpful for costuming the movie Cats, but I am doing my best!
And here is Idris Elba dancing!
Lewk #3
Okay! Now we're talking! Here's a lil pair of compression tights with a camo moment happening. Very chic, very mysterious, very hard to find. Like a cat!
Under Armour UA Mid Season Reversible Wool Base
Under Armour UA Mid Season Reversible Wool Base
And here is Idris Elba unfortunately putting on a shirt.
And here is Idris Elba saying "I'm coming for you"!
And here is Idris Elba reading this article!
Hmm, I may have gotten distracted. The fact is, Idris Elba looks damn delicious in anything, but let's put him in some cat spandex, just to be sure.
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