Chapter Text
It was an early Friday afternoon, around three or so. Luckily Reddington and the task force had finished a blacklister case earlier than expected so they could all go home and put their feet up until he had new information.
As Red sat in solace, listening to the odd car go by outside his apartment he found himself feeling awfully melancholy and just wishing that he could be near the one person he truly loves and wishes to be more than friends with – if he could even call what they have a friendship.
“You should go and see her, Raymond.” Dembe uttered in his thick African accent from across the room.
“See who?” He asked, as though he didn’t know exactly who Dembe was referring to.
“Don’t try and deflect. We both know you’ve been missing her for quite sometime now. You haven’t exactly been quiet about it.” Dembe told him.
“Quiet? I haven’t said anything about her.” He scoffed.
“You talk in your sleep.” Dembe chimed.
“Eavesdropping are we?” He chuckled.
“You’re doing it again, deflecting – only this time you’re changing the subject as well. Look, it’s only three fifteen if you hurry up and grow some balls you may actually have a chance.” He stated.
“Some balls?...” he asked incredulously. “I’m the Concierge of Crime, Dembe. I assure you I have balls, my friend.” Red declared.
“When it comes to survival, yes. Although, when it comes to Elizabeth… your Lizzie – we both know you’re like a nervous school boy.” Dembe grinned.
“She hasn’t been my Lizzie in what: three, four years maybe? Face it Dembe, yes I may be like a nervous school boy… but aren’t my reasons for that perfectly justified?” He questioned, somewhat needing clarification for whether or not there was a reason for the way he felt or if he was just making any excuse up.
“Yes, they are justified. Nevertheless, you’ve never told her how you’ve felt… only hinted and let’s be honest, it doesn’t matter how many hints one drops, it’s full clarity that makes people take the next step.” Dembe told him.
Red acknowledged Dembe’s words with a simple nod. He stood up from his chair and took the jacket from the coat hook before turning his body behind.
“…what if she takes it the wrong way, Dembe?” He asked after a moment of being in his own head.
“You’ll figure it out, Raymond.” Dembe said with a warming smile.
Red nodded before cautiously opening the door and closing it behind him.
For the first time in years maybe he entered the driving seat of his black Mercedes and began driving. It felt strange to drive again, but exhilarating. Come to think of it, it gave him a sense of control.
However, as he parked his car and began making his way up the staircase of Liz’s apartment building… after all the last thing he needed was to get stuck in an elevator especially with its track record. He began to feel nervous and anxious, even worse than he did when talking about her earlier on.
But nonetheless, he marched onward. He hesitated before knocking on her door but figured that he had to get it done with so he nudged himself forward, closed his eyes and tapped his knuckles on her door.
When she opened the door he wasn’t sure who appeared to be more shocked – her or him. She was dressed in a beautiful short black dress with straps that rested nicely on her toned shoulders. Her face was much more dolled up with makeup, but still an healthy amount… for dating.
“Reddington, what are you doing here?” She asked, blushing slightly.
“Sorry, I-I hope I’m not disturbing anything…” he said, trying his best not to peak behind her. “I’ll come back later.” He smiled sadly.
As much as he tried to hide his disappointment, he just couldn’t – not this time at least.
“No it’s alright, come on in. I’m not going out for a good while yet.” She invited, she knew he could already see what she was up to so figured there was no point in hiding it.
He couldn’t tell her, not now at least. He told her a short while ago that she deserved a bigger life, but the thought of her seeing someone was just too much to bare. He had already seen it once, he couldn’t watch another unfold before his eyes… but he knew deep down he was going to, in fact he was probably going to encourage it and suffer day in day out.
“So, have you got a new blacklister?” She asked as she led him through to the living room and she sat down.
“No, I just figured I’d come by and see you. I know we haven’t really done this lately and I somewhat miss our chats.” He confessed, taking his hat off and placing it on his knee.
He figured that once again giving her hints, chiseling away at bits and pieces of his shielded walls would eventually break him down and she’d realize how he felt… but that never worked out.
“Oh, well I suppose it’s nice to know it’s not just business.” She said.
If only you did well and truly know, Red thought to himself.
“Hmm…” he mumbled, unsure of what to say.
A second later they heard little footsteps coming from around the corner and Red smiled warmly when he saw Agnes. She had grown even more since last he saw her. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been up close to her, known that she was acknowledging his presence instead of the other way around.
He could see her weighing him up in the way she squinted her eyes and tilted her head. He had to admit, she wasn’t very good at hiding her tells... but he found it quite endearing nonetheless.
“Mommy, is that the funny looking man?” She asked aloud, not even attempting to hide it from him.
Liz’s mouth dropped open in shock whilst Red just chuckled. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. He had barely made it out of the door when he heard Agnes ask her mom pretty much the exact same thing. At the time he was a little bit shocked that she didn’t remember how he had cared for her during Liz’s accident but who could blame her? People have different ways of coping with trauma, he assumed Agnes’ was to forget and replace upsetting memories with happy ones. Now however, he found himself laughing at the young girl.
“I guess I am. I’m Raymond or Red, what’s your name?” He asked, holding out his hand for her to shake.
He of course knew her name, he just wanted to go along with the idea of a fresh introduction and make her trust him.
She was still hesitant as she approached him, looking in his beady eyes before shaking his hand.
“I’m Agnes… Red is a funny name.” She stated and he nodded.
“I am a funny man after all.” He grinned and she giggled.
Liz’s heart melted at the moment before her eyes. She had always kept Red separate from Agnes and at a distance to prevent any big questions about who he is because truthfully she didn’t know. Yes, she had said that he was a father to her and a grandfather to Agnes… but lately she had been having the same dream as the one in the motel. Only this time it was between Red and her latest date. She didn’t understand that the way that she felt consciously about him was separate from the way she felt subconsciously. She would always awake aroused from her repetitive dream but didn’t quite realize why.
“Mommy, will you be back to read me a bedtime story?” Agnes asked.
“I’m not sure, sweetie.” Liz sighed. “But I’m sure Baz would love to.” She said positivity.
“Baz?” Red asked, confused as to what Baz had to do with anything.
“Yeah, he started helping me out after he was healed from Mr Kaplan’s fun…” she winked so that Agnes wouldn’t have to hear anything gruesome. “He’s moved boxes here and there, he even helped Agnes build a pillow fort in her room once for the fun of it.” She smiled.
“And here I was thinking he did indeed retire.” Red chuckled.
“He told me that you gave him an early retirement if he wanted it. He knew his arm would never be the same again, but despite his freedom he’s still somewhat remained with you I suppose, by helping me out.” She shrugged.
“Well, he always was one of the good ones...” He smiled fondly. “I assume Baz will be babysitting tonight… what if I, filled in his shift?” He suggested, nervous of her shutting him off.
“Oh you don’t have to. I’m sure you have better things to do.” She waved him off.
“No, I mean it. I’ll gladly help out. I couldn’t think of anything better to do.” He perused and she nodded.
“Very well, but I’m pretty sure Baz will already be on his way. You wouldn’t mind duo babysitting would you?” She asked.
“Of course not.” He said, he certainly wasn’t going to start demanding alone time with Agnes and perhaps helping Baz out would reduce awkwardness if Agnes wasn’t to trust him.
“Okay good…” she smiled, checking her phone. “Gotta go, I’ll be back in a few hours or such.” She said before kissing Agnes goodbye and waving at Red.
He had to admit, he was somewhat hoping he would’ve gotten a kiss on the cheek but he knew he wouldn’t. She was on her way to meet a new guy after all, he had to learn to be okay with that.
~
A few minutes later Baz arrived with a bag full of candy and chocolate, surprised to see his old employer.
“Red I…” the younger man began before trailing off, unsure of what to say.
“There I was insisting upon you taking early retirement after serving God knows how many years to me… loyal to a fault, Baz. I must admit, even after our occasional disputes and disagreements… I cannot thank you enough for sticking with me over these past few years – even if I didn’t realize it.” Red smiled as Baz carefully placed the bags down by the door.
Red immediately chuckled and brought Baz in by his arms for a hug. After all, he hadn’t seen him since the end of his operation when he told him to take an early retirement.
“No thanks necessary, Red. You gave me a purpose in life, more of a purpose then you know. I owe you my life, even after my retirement I couldn’t stay away from Elizabeth. I’m one of the few who know how much you love her and just how much you’ve done for her over the years. I couldn’t rest easily walking away.” Baz explained.
Red had tears swelling in his eyes. Baz was one of the men who he trusted with everything… he couldn’t believe his dedication and loyalty – he was quite surprised.
“And I thank you for that, Baz. I truly do.” He smiled briefly, allowing himself a moment of weakness.
The two of them looked at one another for a small moment before enveloping each other in their arms.
A little while later they heard a rustling at the bags that Baz had brought. It was Agnes having herself a sneak peak into the snacks and goodies he had brought for her.
Red and Baz let go of one another before pacing their way over to one another.
“Watcha wanting there, kiddo?” Baz asked, crouching down.
“Chunky monkey?” She grinned and he laughed.
“Well of course, you know I always bring your favorite.” Baz chuckled and Agnes smiled widely.
Red had the widest smile on his face as he gazed down upon the young girl and one of his most trustworthy of friends. He couldn’t believe just what he had missed on. He had to admit he was rather pained knowing that Liz preferred him to watch from a distance. Though, at least he now had a night of babysitting duties to see to and he knew that he would make it fun for all.
To be continued…