When we're tired of scrolling through our friends' glamorous vacations on Instagram, we skip on over to Twitter, where nobody has issues sharing their actual, innermost thoughts. We had so much fun going through horny tweets last month, so we've done it again: here are the funniest tweets about sex, sex toys, and everything in between. And of course, don't forget to follow Doc Johnson, @TheOriginalDoc.
Vibrator died so you know what i have to do— (intern)al pain (@Revelacaa) July 30, 2019
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I wonder if people who work in sex toy factories are fond of quoting "Field of Dreams"? pic.twitter.com/dVWA9iEvl9— Water U Luke Ingot (@ThatLukasGuy) August 9, 2019
Okay kids, let’s play a game. This one is called “doggie chew toy or hardcore sex toy”? pic.twitter.com/ufLDqSm6Et— Amanda Winn Lee (@amandawinnlee) July 29, 2019
My v******* got lost in the mail and I was on the phone PRAYING that the customer service rep ain’t ask what it was pic.twitter.com/9Hrueu2zQJ— scotch bonnet (@678VIALVA) July 30, 2019
just took triple A batteries outta my coworkers desk because i ran out of them for my vibrator. a girls gotta hustle— almond joy (@poppunkmomma) July 30, 2019
I keep walking into my bedroom to find that one particular drawer of the dresser has magically slid open, and I’m not sure what to say about it except that it is HIGHLY on brand for me to have attracted a poltergeist whose sole aim seems to be inspecting my sex toy collection— Freya Marske (@freyamarske) July 30, 2019
When I need to change the batteries in my vibrator pic.twitter.com/C9LWG8gRiB— murder not mukduk (@HCloYO) August 5, 2019
Daily laugh: An old squeaker from a dog toy that we keep bc Prudie likes to chew on it. Just found it in the nightstand bc our cleaning person thinks it’s a dildo. IT HAS TEETH MARKS!! She must think we are the kinkiest bitches, also she must know what’s in the nightstand 😬 🤦🏻♀️ pic.twitter.com/Tp4v4S3GTt— Tam🐝 (@TresWayHaught) August 3, 2019
Trying anal for the first time like pic.twitter.com/u365AijopB— Doc Johnson (@TheOriginalDoc) August 12, 2019
When you accidentally bring a sex toy charger instead of your phone charger...(if anyone in the British Library needs their sex toy charging I'm in the Social Sciences section...) pic.twitter.com/qbAwtjjmO4— Fran Bushe - Ad Libido (@franbushe) July 31, 2019
idk who needs to hear this but when tsa says you have to take all electronics bigger than a phone out of your bag at check in it does not apply to vibrators— Emily Sheppard (@epsheppard) August 12, 2019
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