'Bitter like life'

When half the classes you teach take place between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and noon, the topic of coffee is bound to come up at some point.  In many offices, espresso vending machines serve up just about every Argentine hot drink you can imagine: cafe con leche (coffee with milk), cafe cortado (small shot of coffee with a touch of milk), lagrima (hot milk with just a "teardrop" of coffee), cappuccino, tea with lemon, hot chocolate, etc.

"Cafe con Leche" by Reina Resto

Overall I find Argentina's coffee quality disappointing— a sin considering that the country is a next-door neighbor to Brazil and on the same continent as Colombia.  But for some reason, I love these vending-machine brews that pop out at the perfect temperature with just the right amount of caffeinated fluff on top to soothe your taste buds into the sweet-but-not-sugared, bold flavor.

My students, who mostly take their coffee with at least a little milk or sugar, were surprised to learn that despite my sweet and chipper personality (laugh if you must, but I actually am a rather peppy teacher), I like my coffee plain and dark, or simply, cafe solo.  To drive this point home, I even recounted a long-running family anecdote.  My Aunt Natalie, who would love lagrimas, once quipped that her coffee was, "light and sweet just like me," to which I replied, "That makes sense.  Mine is dark and bitter."

The students enjoyed this story enough that they took it upon themselves to teach me a little Argentine Spanish.  When ordering a plain coffee with no milk or sugar, one can say, "Amargo como la vida," or "Bitter like life."

And now it's my new favorite catchphrase.  I still haven't worked up the courage to actually say it when ordering for fear that the barista will A. not understand, forcing me to repeat myself and causing my Spanish-speaking confidence to drop faster than the peso's value or B. cock a dark eyebrow, chuckle and then begin talking to her coworkers in rapid-fire castellano about the crazy gringa.  After all, wouldn't you laugh if someone said they took their coffee bitter like life?

In the meantime I'm content to share this wonderful phrase with other expats, who find it as entertaining as I do.  One of my friends even asked, "So can you order coffee dulce como la vida if you like it sweet?"  We all glanced at each other, considering the possibility.  The quick, unanimous answer: Nah!

It's not like we're in Italy.