Dear Friends,

 

As a follow-up to Bo’s letter, which was sent on Sunday through Friends Weekly Digest, I’d like to share some thoughts with you.

 

The recent events in Ferguson, MO, as well as the events right here in our own city, are complicated and disturbing. There are allegations of racism and unfair treatment, as well as questions about privilege and protest. The constant media coverage and heightened police presence seem to fuel uncertainty, anger and questions about trust. This is confusing enough for adults to understand, but when I try and imagine this from a child’s perspective, I realize it is likely our children don’t know what to think or believe.

Given the sensitivity and complexity surrounding these issues, I hope it may be helpful to share a few thoughts on talking with your kids about these difficult subjects.

Children have a way of picking up subtle cues from us and from the media. They often get their first glimpses of stereotypes from the news. It is critical that we talk to our kids when we see generalizations and stereotypes about people in the news. We may feel a sense of urgency for a sustained dialogue on racial equality in our nation, but for our children we should keep it simple. A good way to start a conversation on race is by talking with your child about what respect means and how to be respectful of all people regardless of race, religion, age or any other aspect of a person’s identity.

There are people in our community, including the police, whose job it is to protect us and keep our city and neighborhoods safe. Many of our kids have mentioned seeing more police in the neighborhood and hearing things on the news. Our teachers will continue to listen and redirect conversations that focus on respect for all people, trust in the folks that keep us safe, and an understanding that Friends Seminary is an inclusive and supportive community.

 

Talking about these difficult topics gives us the chance to explain to our children the values and beliefs that are important to our family.  When your children ask you a question, make sure you truly “get” their question and what it is they are asking. If you understand what is being asked and why, then you can provide information on an age-appropriate, and need-to-know basis. And please consider that it is always OK to say you don’t know the answer to their question, and you would like more time to think before responding.

 

As for the Lower School, we will not raise the issues surrounding Eric Garner and Staten Island or Michael Brown and Ferguson, but we will be vigilant about student conversations and any signs of distress.

As always, we encourage you to be mindful of your children’s exposure to the media, and please do not hesitate to reach out to Samantha Meltzer, Cynthia Chalker or me with any questions or concerns.

 

Sincerely,

John Evans

Head of Lower School