the $80 brunch | DailyCandy

DailyCandy is selling a $40 brunch deal ($80 for a couple) at the Kimberly Hotel in Midtown East. That includes an entree, dessert and two cocktails. It represents a “35 percent” discount. To explain why this is BAD DEAL, let’s listen to a conversation between Renee and Charlee, a young (and fictional) Williamsburg couple with lovably androgynous names, and who always get into fights over deals. Observe: 

CHARLEE: Hey babe. Wanna have brunch in Midtown Manhattan?  

RENEE: Not really, who goes to Midtown on the weekends? 

CHARLEE: But I bought us this great offer: two courses and two cocktails.

RENEE: $40 bucks? A cocktail each? Sure That’s enough to share. 

CHARLEE: Wait, sweetie, there’s no sharing allowed with this deal. So I had to buy two vouchers. So technically that’s $80 bucks. 

RENEE: Hold on, I thought we were saving money? 

CHARLEE: Yes, we’re saving 35 percent! Of course, we’re supposed to tip on the original price of $63 per person, so after tax and 18% tip that comes to $109. 

RENEE: We’re spending $109 on brunch? Listen, we could’ve gone to Balthazar, ordered two Bloody Marys, half a dozen oysters, foie gras terrine and apple pancakes for $79 bucks – and we’d have tipped on $79, not some fictional $123 that we’d never have spent anyway!  Can we at least get some oysters and foie gras at the Kimberly?  

CHARLEE: No sweetie. We can get lobster benedict or whatever then we have to get dessert at The Kimberly. The second course is dessert.  

RENEE: Two dessert courses? What is this a fanny-pack convention at TGI Friday’s? No one orders dessert at brunch! And now we’re stuck with two. Listen, just return the offer and let’s go to Balthazar. 

CHARLEE: The DailyCandy deal is non-refundable.

RENEE: Why didn’t you ask me before buying? 

CHARLEE: I thought the deal was going to sell out. 

RENEE: Sell out? SELL OUT? Did you think The Kimberly was gonna sell out of brunch? Is this brunch endangered like bluefin tuna or Iranian caviar? 

CHARLEE: Well its DailyCandy! You know, I trusted them.

RENEE: I know you did honey. I know you did. Don’t hate yourself. Hate the people who sold you this crummy deal. 

CHARLEE: Okay, let’s go get some tattoos. 

RENEE: Cool.