- this month, nigel has decided to put nigel knowstm on pause in order to reflect on quarantine. - as my many, many devoted readers know, i am selfless. i’ve always been a giver. i give too much and never focus on myself. i’m always giving advice, however, i often fail to take that advice myself. last month, i told sara g. that she should calmly explain to her boyfriend that when she takes time for herself, it is not a reflection on him and their relationship. it is actually her investing in their relationship. it’s her taking the time for herself so that she can give to him. fill your beak before you fill others, as i often say. yet, over these past few years, really since i broke out as a star, my beak has been empty. i literally filled my beak for fame and yet fame emptied it for me. being a celebrity comes with its perks, but it also has pitfalls that i often fall victim to. i can never go out without someone asking me, “have you seen nemo?” or, “will you take a photo with me in your beak?” and sure, nemo and i are great friends and often discuss our skyrocketing stardom, but he can’t understand my struggles. he has such limited significance and can often just blend in with the sea anemone. i feel like i can’t deny a fan a photo. i feel such a weight on my wings because i know that a photo with nigel could make someone’s week or year or life even! but what about that toll each photo takes on my soul? i was telling myself that i had to give back. that i had made it! i was one of the few pelicans to make it out. and now i had to give back to our community. i had to “lift the others that came after me” so that we could all take flight. but, i haven’t flown in a very long time. 50