Heinz Is Sure You Wanted Mayonnaise Ice Cream

We all scream for salad cream

In proof that not even brands are immune from the cabin fever-ideas of quarantine, Heinz UK has introduced “Creamz,” DIY kits that allow you to make ice cream of various Heinz condiments — ketchup, mayonnaise, salad cream, BBQ sauce and Saucy Sauce (basically a mix of ketchup and mayo). Each kit includes a recipe card, a reusable ice cream tub, and an engraved spoon and ice cream scoop. Oh, and whatever condiment you’re making ice cream of. Because you’re making ice cream out of condiments.

What counts as a “weird” ice cream flavor is obviously influenced by culture and tradition, and something like mayonnaise — which is just fat and oil — doesn’t actually seem that incongruous with the concept of ice cream when you break it down. It could probably work well! But also, say “Ketchup Creamz” out loud to yourself. No thank you.

And in other news...

• Almost 90 percent of meat plant workers who have contracted the new coronavirus are minorities. [Bloomberg Law]
• Tyson, Heartland Dairy, and Williams-Sonoma are among the companies listed in this report that source workers from rehabs, and pay them little to no money. [Reveal]
• Alinea made a coconut custard that resembles the new coronavirus, which is being criticized as being a little... tasteless (sorry). [Book Club Chicago]
• In one corner, you have people who are lining up for hours to get into the Upper West Side Trader Joe’s even though many other grocery stores exist. In the other, neighbors who are putting up petty signs because the street conversation is too loud. Nobody wins. [NYTimes]
• There is also a petition to get Trader Joe’s to stop the exoticism in its product naming conventions, like Chinese food being under the label “Trader Ming’s.” [Change.org]
• Ahead of a potential trade deal with the U.S., a number of UK grocery stores say they won’t accept chlorinated chicken or hormone-injected beef. [BI]
• Jimmy John’s employees in Georgia were fired after making a noose out of pizza dough. [CNN]
• A necklace that tracks your eating habits, for the dystopian dieter. [Chicago Sun Times]
• Chuck E. Cheese filed for bankruptcy, and is relying on its delivery-only concept, Pasqually’s Pizza, to appeal to “more mature taste preferences.” [RBO]
• [bangs clipboard] SOUP TUBE:

• All AM Intel Coverage [E]