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OHellNo #4
Battle of the Bulge
From New York Times Bestseller Mimi Jean Pamfiloff comes BATTLE OF THE BULGE, Book Four of the OHellNO Series. (A Standalone.)
“Chicks can’t be bodyguards. Especially hot chicks.”
MY NAME IS MITCH HOFER. I’m a world-famous swimmer from Australia, best known for three things: my gold medals, my looks, and filling out a swimsuit with my…eh-hem—bulky equipment. Let’s just say there’s a reason my nickname is “the Bulge.”
But beyond the fame, sponsors, and glory, there’s more to me than people know, including one hell of a mess I’ve gotten mixed up in. Life-or-death stuff, so bring in the professionals. Just don’t give me a chick bodyguard. Especially a young hot one who distracts me at every turn and hates my guts…
MY NAME IS ABI CARTER, and I hate Mitch Hofer. Yeah, he might be the sexiest champion swimmer in the world, but I’d give this guy a gold medal for being a first-class jerk.
Unfortunately, my boss has given me a choice—guard Mitch or get another job. And I really need the money. I can be professional, but if Mitch says “chicks can’t be bodyguards” one more time, I just might strangle him myself.
Still, something about the way Mitch keeps looking at me makes me think there’s more to his story. It’s almost as if he’s trying to drive me away. But why?
“Chicks can’t be bodyguards. Especially hot chicks.”
MY NAME IS MITCH HOFER. I’m a world-famous swimmer from Australia, best known for three things: my gold medals, my looks, and filling out a swimsuit with my…eh-hem—bulky equipment. Let’s just say there’s a reason my nickname is “the Bulge.”
But beyond the fame, sponsors, and glory, there’s more to me than people know, including one hell of a mess I’ve gotten mixed up in. Life-or-death stuff, so bring in the professionals. Just don’t give me a chick bodyguard. Especially a young hot one who distracts me at every turn and hates my guts…
MY NAME IS ABI CARTER, and I hate Mitch Hofer. Yeah, he might be the sexiest champion swimmer in the world, but I’d give this guy a gold medal for being a first-class jerk.
Unfortunately, my boss has given me a choice—guard Mitch or get another job. And I really need the money. I can be professional, but if Mitch says “chicks can’t be bodyguards” one more time, I just might strangle him myself.
Still, something about the way Mitch keeps looking at me makes me think there’s more to his story. It’s almost as if he’s trying to drive me away. But why?
278 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 14, 2019
About the author
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
70 books4,259 followersBecause Mimi wants to focus on writing and her freakin' awesome fans, she does NOT monitor this site. PLEASE GO TO her Facebook
FAN PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MimiJ...
or her website:
www.mimijean.net, and sign up for her newsletter if you want the latest FREEBIES and news!
****
MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF is a New York Times bestselling author who writes insane plot twists that will have you burning through the pages. Whether it’s Romance, Suspense/Thriller, or Fantasy, there are always big heroes to root for, smart and resourceful heroines, and a ton of heart pumping excitement in every story.
Mimi lives with her extremely patient husband (“Be right there! Just one more page, honey!”), two pirates-in-training (their boys), and their three spunky dragons (really, just very tiny dogs with big attitudes) Snowy, Mini, and Mack, in the vampire-unfriendly state of Arizona.
FAN PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MimiJ...
or her website:
www.mimijean.net, and sign up for her newsletter if you want the latest FREEBIES and news!
****
MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF is a New York Times bestselling author who writes insane plot twists that will have you burning through the pages. Whether it’s Romance, Suspense/Thriller, or Fantasy, there are always big heroes to root for, smart and resourceful heroines, and a ton of heart pumping excitement in every story.
Mimi lives with her extremely patient husband (“Be right there! Just one more page, honey!”), two pirates-in-training (their boys), and their three spunky dragons (really, just very tiny dogs with big attitudes) Snowy, Mini, and Mack, in the vampire-unfriendly state of Arizona.
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February 11, 2019
Battle of the Bulge is book four in the OHellNo series by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff. I’ve loved this series from the first book but still, really had no idea what to expect with this one. And of course, in the usual Mimi Jean way, I was surprised as heck! I’m adding this to my suspense shelf as well because oh my gosh, it really was suspenseful!
Abigail (Abi) Carter is nearly twenty two years old and in a bit of a mess, or more like, her mom is. She is very close with her mom and she has come into some financial difficulties. Abi wants to help her and also needs the money to pay for her final semester of school. So she decides to go to work for Georgie’s husband Sam (from the previous book) as a bodyguard. Yes, a female bodyguard. So she goes to bodyguard boot camp and is the best student they had. Now she’s ready for her first job but it turns out that the client she is supposed to protect is one she wouldn’t mind killing herself.
Mitch Hofer is a professional swimmer headed for the Olympics. Swimming is his life, his mistress, his wife, his everything. Except that he has gotten himself into a bit of a mess as well. And now there is a price out on his head. He refuses to let the bad guys ruin his life so instead of hiding out, he hires Sam and his bodyguards to protect him. Only one of them is the one person he doesn’t want around, and the one person he’s pretty sure would let the killer get to him.
Abi tries to do her job and protect Mitch while at the same time, Mitch fights her every step of the way. She really has no idea why he seems to dislike her so much. Or is there another reason he doesn’t want her around? And Mitch really does need protection because they are finding trouble around every single corner they turn.
I loved this. In true Mimi Jean fashion, she keeps us guessing throughout as to what is going on. And, at the same time, we have the crazy chemistry growing stronger between Abi and Mitch. This was silly and fun and sexy and steamy and suspenseful as heck with a big surprise ending. Every one of the books in this series has been so different and so amazing. Now I am even more excited for the next book in the series, book five, My Pen Is Huge, which is Leland’s story. Let the awesomeness continue!
For more about this book and so many more, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/44036...
Abigail (Abi) Carter is nearly twenty two years old and in a bit of a mess, or more like, her mom is. She is very close with her mom and she has come into some financial difficulties. Abi wants to help her and also needs the money to pay for her final semester of school. So she decides to go to work for Georgie’s husband Sam (from the previous book) as a bodyguard. Yes, a female bodyguard. So she goes to bodyguard boot camp and is the best student they had. Now she’s ready for her first job but it turns out that the client she is supposed to protect is one she wouldn’t mind killing herself.
Mitch Hofer is a professional swimmer headed for the Olympics. Swimming is his life, his mistress, his wife, his everything. Except that he has gotten himself into a bit of a mess as well. And now there is a price out on his head. He refuses to let the bad guys ruin his life so instead of hiding out, he hires Sam and his bodyguards to protect him. Only one of them is the one person he doesn’t want around, and the one person he’s pretty sure would let the killer get to him.
Abi tries to do her job and protect Mitch while at the same time, Mitch fights her every step of the way. She really has no idea why he seems to dislike her so much. Or is there another reason he doesn’t want her around? And Mitch really does need protection because they are finding trouble around every single corner they turn.
I loved this. In true Mimi Jean fashion, she keeps us guessing throughout as to what is going on. And, at the same time, we have the crazy chemistry growing stronger between Abi and Mitch. This was silly and fun and sexy and steamy and suspenseful as heck with a big surprise ending. Every one of the books in this series has been so different and so amazing. Now I am even more excited for the next book in the series, book five, My Pen Is Huge, which is Leland’s story. Let the awesomeness continue!
For more about this book and so many more, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/44036...
February 20, 2019
Now available
Amazon -> https://amzn.to/2M51PJx
I've delete my previous rant about book trolls. Thank for your patience! But I've now read the Advanced Reader Copy of this book one day before its release and can absolutely say, congrats Mimi. Mission accomplished. I giggled like a school girl!
Battle of the Bulge is book #4 of the OHellNo series by author Mimi Jean Pamfiloff. It's a standalone enemies to lovers, romantic comedy that will have you laughing and smiling throughout.
February 14, 2019
Favorite Quotes:
There’s a market for everything these days. Example: the horrible swimsuits Mr. Jackass wears from his sponsor, Weeno. They have things like panda or elephant faces on the front, positioned just so, in order to make the animal’s nose protrude like little penis puppets.
A generous salami does not make up for his despicable personality.
We cussed like two pirates at a rum festival.
Damn, someone should write a bad country song about it…Kissed at dusk. Dumped at dawn. Pumped my heart into a sad, sad song. And cue twangy slide guitar.
I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have men just look at me like a piece of eye candy. … I’ll find out tonight… My dress is so tight you can see my ovaries.
She takes one look at me, and her smile drops. “Dear, are you all right? I own cotton balls with more color.”
My Review:
I smirked, giggle-snorted, and laughed aloud throughout this delightfully irreverent read. I adore Mimi Jean Pamfiloff’s clever humor, witty wordplay, and endearingly flawed characters. She has a cheeky writing style that I will never tire of.
There’s a market for everything these days. Example: the horrible swimsuits Mr. Jackass wears from his sponsor, Weeno. They have things like panda or elephant faces on the front, positioned just so, in order to make the animal’s nose protrude like little penis puppets.
A generous salami does not make up for his despicable personality.
We cussed like two pirates at a rum festival.
Damn, someone should write a bad country song about it…Kissed at dusk. Dumped at dawn. Pumped my heart into a sad, sad song. And cue twangy slide guitar.
I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have men just look at me like a piece of eye candy. … I’ll find out tonight… My dress is so tight you can see my ovaries.
She takes one look at me, and her smile drops. “Dear, are you all right? I own cotton balls with more color.”
My Review:
I smirked, giggle-snorted, and laughed aloud throughout this delightfully irreverent read. I adore Mimi Jean Pamfiloff’s clever humor, witty wordplay, and endearingly flawed characters. She has a cheeky writing style that I will never tire of.
February 12, 2019
What a fun book! This is a romantic comedy filled with with some over-the-top scenes that really had me laughing out loud.
There heroine was awesome. She was such a contradiction. The book starts out with her training to be a bodyguard and then we learn that she was a really shy child. I was expecting to see her fumble in this new career of hers. Instead she turned out to be really good at it.
Mitch is another contradicting character. He comes off pretty egotistical in the beginning but you soon learn there is more there than just the bulge. I loved these two together. Their battle of the wills was very entertaining.
This series has been pretty fun. We even get a look into the next book. Lexington and Gisselle are two side characters we meet in Battle of the Bulge. They both had a big presence so I know their book is going to be full of more laughs.
There heroine was awesome. She was such a contradiction. The book starts out with her training to be a bodyguard and then we learn that she was a really shy child. I was expecting to see her fumble in this new career of hers. Instead she turned out to be really good at it.
Mitch is another contradicting character. He comes off pretty egotistical in the beginning but you soon learn there is more there than just the bulge. I loved these two together. Their battle of the wills was very entertaining.
This series has been pretty fun. We even get a look into the next book. Lexington and Gisselle are two side characters we meet in Battle of the Bulge. They both had a big presence so I know their book is going to be full of more laughs.
February 13, 2019
4.5 stars
Mimi manages to put her heroines in the most ridiculous of situations, saying the most outrageous things and making absolute fools of themselves. And somehow, it makes them all the more lovable and endearing. I honestly thing that I am seeing into the heart of the author when I read her stories because they all have the same quirky humor in them that couldn’t exist if it didn’t genuinely exude from Mimi herself. Her stories are all adorable and unique and Battle of the Bulge does not disappoint.
When Abi starts her new job as a private bodyguard, she does not expect to be guarding an almost-one-night-stand who rudely kicked her out the next morning with no explanation. But needing the job, she agrees to protect Olympic swimmer and model of teeny tiny bathing suits, Mitch “the Bulge” Hofer.
Mitch, who is infuriatingly smug, is being targeted by people trying to kill him. But Abi knows she’s not actually going to take a bullet for the jerk that humiliated her. She’s just supposed to be the “owl”, the eyes and ears of what’s going on around him. She’s just going to do her job and get out of there, away from the sexy, sometime nice, then a jerk again, man. That’s the plan.
What follows is an adorable story of name calling, reverse psychology and revelations that are sweet and endearing. As the fourth book in a series, Battle of the Bulge is best read along with the other books in the OhHellNo series, but it certainly can be read as a stand alone as well. Familiarity with the other books gives a background on the other characters and makes their crazy seem not as insane, but I suspect that Mitch and Abi would be just as fun if this was your first foray into the utterly enjoyable world of Mimi’s stories.
Battle of the Bulge perfectly showcases Mimi’s talents as a silly, snarky and engaging writer, and it was just plain fun to read.
Want to read
October 4, 2019Battle of the Bulge is on sale for $0.99 (regular price $2.99) on Amazon today (10/4/2019)💞 Smart Tass (The OHellNO Series Book 1) is FREE on Amazon!
October 3, 2019
Wow, this was horrible. And as an Aussie, I’m kind of offended by what a giant prat the apparently “Australian” hero was. If you don’t want to start a relationship with someone, don’t. But spending lots of sexy time with her, then treating her like a two-bit whore, ostensibly to scare her away because you are the target of a hit man and you want to protect her? I call bs. Plus the endless references to the (ginormous, ladies, absolutely HUGE) size of his dick annoyed me. Talk about objectification.
Added to that, Abi was a psycho idiot. And totally non-credible as a body guard. Bodyguard? A girl who can’t keep her mouth shut and is so naive and gullible that she’s more likely to endanger the target? What a ridiculous mess. Got to 60% and cut my losses.
There are much better college romances out there, with more believable and likeable douche-canoe heroes (who actually step up), and heroines with more self-respect and brains than this.
Keg party anyone????? Ugh!!!
Added to that, Abi was a psycho idiot. And totally non-credible as a body guard. Bodyguard? A girl who can’t keep her mouth shut and is so naive and gullible that she’s more likely to endanger the target? What a ridiculous mess. Got to 60% and cut my losses.
There are much better college romances out there, with more believable and likeable douche-canoe heroes (who actually step up), and heroines with more self-respect and brains than this.
Keg party anyone????? Ugh!!!
February 14, 2019
ARC REVIEW
Another outstanding book from MJP. We first met Abi and Mitch in the last book but this book can be read as a standalone. I would still recommend reading the previous three because they are just awesome. Mimi's New Adult-Sports-Romantic-Comedy blend is typical Mimi; humorous situations, dirty jokes, characters you want to throttle at times and always a romance that hits the spot.
Abi is smart and very loyal to those she loves so when her mom hits a rough patch and is on the verge of losing everything from her business to her home Abi steps up and takes a job with her best friend's fiance, Sam, as a bodyguard. After weeks of training hell Abi is ready for her first assignment, that is until she realizes she's protecting Mitch Hofer.
Mitch has his reasons, he comes off as a chauvinist and self centered but through the first person narration you find out he's a complex guy. There is somewhat of a method to his jerkish ways. But one thing for sure he can't have Abi guarding him, or be anywhere near him. He's too attracted to her, to worried that he will once again be the cause of some he cares about getting hurt especially after she's saved his life the first time.
Overall, it's a fun read. I read it in one sitting (took me about 3ish hours), my curse I inhale her books only to regret reading it too fast. It is alternating first person POV, more Abi than Mitch, but it isn't long before you realize Mitch is more what he seems.
Another outstanding book from MJP. We first met Abi and Mitch in the last book but this book can be read as a standalone. I would still recommend reading the previous three because they are just awesome. Mimi's New Adult-Sports-Romantic-Comedy blend is typical Mimi; humorous situations, dirty jokes, characters you want to throttle at times and always a romance that hits the spot.
Abi is smart and very loyal to those she loves so when her mom hits a rough patch and is on the verge of losing everything from her business to her home Abi steps up and takes a job with her best friend's fiance, Sam, as a bodyguard. After weeks of training hell Abi is ready for her first assignment, that is until she realizes she's protecting Mitch Hofer.
Mitch has his reasons, he comes off as a chauvinist and self centered but through the first person narration you find out he's a complex guy. There is somewhat of a method to his jerkish ways. But one thing for sure he can't have Abi guarding him, or be anywhere near him. He's too attracted to her, to worried that he will once again be the cause of some he cares about getting hurt especially after she's saved his life the first time.
Overall, it's a fun read. I read it in one sitting (took me about 3ish hours), my curse I inhale her books only to regret reading it too fast. It is alternating first person POV, more Abi than Mitch, but it isn't long before you realize Mitch is more what he seems.
February 14, 2019
Mimi Jean does it again! This time she brings us an Aussie world class gold medal swimmer, Mitch Hofer (that name still puzzles me) and Abi Carter quiet, smart student now turned bodyguard to make some money and best friends with Georgie. Abi has history with Mitch, a one perfect night, no sex, that ends up with him tossing her clothes in her face and shoving her out the door. She hates Mitch. Mitch doesn't think women should be bodyguards. The tension between the two went from hysterical to I wanted to smack Mitch over the head. Abi is working for Sam and Mitch has hired his company after his life has been threatened and those threats are serious. He's moved to the states after this Uncle is killed and Mitch refuses protective custody.
MJ pulls out all of her snarky bits for the this one. The banter between these two was hysterical as was the girl talk between her and Georgie. I haven't laughed like this for a while, and though the book had it's serious moments and plenty of suspense the best part of the story was watching Abi and Mitch's relationship unfold. Not to say it was easy going... not a chance. I loved Abi's attitude and inner dialogue along with Mitch's Weeno wear and his hidden soft spot for Abi. They were perfect together. The book is a keeper. Smooth Mimi Jean style, storyline woven seamlessly, and never a dull moment make this one to add to the must read shelf. The laughs make it perfection.
advance copy graciously provided by author
MJ pulls out all of her snarky bits for the this one. The banter between these two was hysterical as was the girl talk between her and Georgie. I haven't laughed like this for a while, and though the book had it's serious moments and plenty of suspense the best part of the story was watching Abi and Mitch's relationship unfold. Not to say it was easy going... not a chance. I loved Abi's attitude and inner dialogue along with Mitch's Weeno wear and his hidden soft spot for Abi. They were perfect together. The book is a keeper. Smooth Mimi Jean style, storyline woven seamlessly, and never a dull moment make this one to add to the must read shelf. The laughs make it perfection.
advance copy graciously provided by author
February 7, 2019
Another hilarious romcom for the Ohellno series! Luckily, they can all be read as stand-alones as each book centers around different characters so previous books would give you a some back story on other characters and some deeper insight into their friendships, but you could easily dive into this book first.
Abi and Georgie are the kind of best friends that push each other out of their comfort zones constantly. Abi has always been shy but fiercely protective. When her dad dies and her mom is in danger of losing everything, Abi decides to train to be a bodyguard because it pays REALLY well and she's good at blending in.
She quickly figures out that part of the great pay is because your client may be a horrible chauvinistic jerk. Also, he may have thrown you out after an amazing night together like yesterday's trash. Yep! Her first client is "The Bulge" aka the sleazy swimmer she'd thought she'd connected with and was a great guy. Wrong! And now everything rides on her being able to be professional and possibly even save his life. It doesn't help that he doesn't believe women can be good bodygaurds.
Will she be able to prove him wrong, or will she kill him herself?
I adore this series! And Bulge didn't disappoint! It's got a strong, sassy female lead and a male lead that you can't quite figure out if he's hiding a heart of gold or not throughout most of the story. Watching Abi struggle with keeping her cool when Mitch is constantly making her want to strangle him is hilarious. I did not see the real threat coming at all which is a huge testament to Mimi's writing skills as it made total sense when it finally comes out.
Abi and Georgie are the kind of best friends that push each other out of their comfort zones constantly. Abi has always been shy but fiercely protective. When her dad dies and her mom is in danger of losing everything, Abi decides to train to be a bodyguard because it pays REALLY well and she's good at blending in.
She quickly figures out that part of the great pay is because your client may be a horrible chauvinistic jerk. Also, he may have thrown you out after an amazing night together like yesterday's trash. Yep! Her first client is "The Bulge" aka the sleazy swimmer she'd thought she'd connected with and was a great guy. Wrong! And now everything rides on her being able to be professional and possibly even save his life. It doesn't help that he doesn't believe women can be good bodygaurds.
Will she be able to prove him wrong, or will she kill him herself?
I adore this series! And Bulge didn't disappoint! It's got a strong, sassy female lead and a male lead that you can't quite figure out if he's hiding a heart of gold or not throughout most of the story. Watching Abi struggle with keeping her cool when Mitch is constantly making her want to strangle him is hilarious. I did not see the real threat coming at all which is a huge testament to Mimi's writing skills as it made total sense when it finally comes out.
February 15, 2019
In this stand alone fourth book in the Ohellno series, Mitch, Olympic medal winning swimmer, bathing suit model, and all around hunk is in desperate need of security. Abi is in a bad spot and needs the security job badly to save her mom’s home and business. Unfortunately, she finds out that the person she has been assigned to protect is also the hunky swimmer who she had an amazing night with (no sex) but was then rudely thrown out of his bed in the morning with no explanation. These two are either a match made in heaven or a match made in hell. Who is the real Mitch and can she keep him alive to find out? This book is a real page turner which will keep you on the edge of your seat. If you have read the previous books in this series, you will love the way this book adds to the story. If you haven’t, you will love the book anyway ( but I suggest you get the others)! Another great book by Mimi Jean!!
February 18, 2019
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I'm always looking forward to Mimi's book, you honestly never know what you're going to get. And this was such a treat to read. I'm a bit late to this series, mainly for the lack of reading because I own the previous three ... I enjoyed every moment of Battle of the Bulge and the title just cracks me up.
We've got a wicked smart, quick and unique heroine. She's definitely someone I never expected with being a shy female bodyguard. Abi is amazing at her job and is so protective of those she loves, which kind of says alot when it comes to the jerk that she has to watch over. But my goodness, the loathing is deep for her current client, who she just happens to have a little bit of a history with. As much as she wants to quit, this job pays well and she needs the money to stay afloat.
Since I don't really want to refer to this guy as 'the Bulge', we'll use his real name, Mitch. Besides being an absolute a** to Abi every waking moment they're around each other, you can quickly sense that there's more to this guy than what we see. And that definitely kept things a bit suspenseful because someone is after him and he's hoping he'll come out of this alive.
If at most, both of these characters are a walking contradiction, but once the truth is out there, you'll be certain that they couldn't be more perfect for each other.
Their story pulled at my heart more than I expected it to, yes everything about this book is very much a romcom. But Mimi just puts the right amount of angst to really get your heart going. Absolutely loved their story and can't wait to go back and start this series from book 1.
Major thank you to the author for the reader's copy!
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This review was originally posted on Romance Schmomance
February 19, 2019
Prepare for a rollercoaster of laughs.
What do you get when you take a shy girl with a protective streak, add an excessively endowed hot Australian swimming megastar, and allow Mimi Jean Pamfiloff to tell their story? You get hidden agendas, misdirects, a speedo warehouse full of snarky nicknames, and a riot of laughs. Basically, you get a great book.
What’s any logical girl to do since letting her guard down resulted in humiliation and getting a door slammed in her face? Leap head first into a new career as a bodyguard of course.
When Abi and Mitch met the night of his house warming party they were inseparable. What started off as a seemingly instant connection between the two turns south “the morning after”. Now Abi just wants to forget him and what almost, could have been. There’s just one problem. Her first assignment after completing a month of grueling bodyguard and survival training in the freezing Alaskan wilderness is none other than Mitch "The Bulge" Hofer. How is she supposed to help protect someone she hates? She does hate him right?
Mitch is a hot Australian swimmer with 4 Olympic medals, a modeling/spokesman deal, the world at his fingers, not to mention a gaggle of groupies that accompany him everywhere in public. Unfortunately he’s also got a bounty on his head, someone wants him dead.
Abi and Mitch must learn to deal with each other as they navigate assassination attempts, withheld information, and so much sexual tension they can only be protesting against the other too much.
Mimi Jean once again writes a book that is snarky, fun, twisty, and unexpected in the way you’ve come to expect from her. Although you can read this as a standalone it is a great fourth installment to the “series” with interconnected characters. There is a mild cliffhanger at the end, but she wraps up the story commendably while leaving it to easily and seamlessly continue into another installment.
What do you get when you take a shy girl with a protective streak, add an excessively endowed hot Australian swimming megastar, and allow Mimi Jean Pamfiloff to tell their story? You get hidden agendas, misdirects, a speedo warehouse full of snarky nicknames, and a riot of laughs. Basically, you get a great book.
What’s any logical girl to do since letting her guard down resulted in humiliation and getting a door slammed in her face? Leap head first into a new career as a bodyguard of course.
When Abi and Mitch met the night of his house warming party they were inseparable. What started off as a seemingly instant connection between the two turns south “the morning after”. Now Abi just wants to forget him and what almost, could have been. There’s just one problem. Her first assignment after completing a month of grueling bodyguard and survival training in the freezing Alaskan wilderness is none other than Mitch "The Bulge" Hofer. How is she supposed to help protect someone she hates? She does hate him right?
Mitch is a hot Australian swimmer with 4 Olympic medals, a modeling/spokesman deal, the world at his fingers, not to mention a gaggle of groupies that accompany him everywhere in public. Unfortunately he’s also got a bounty on his head, someone wants him dead.
Abi and Mitch must learn to deal with each other as they navigate assassination attempts, withheld information, and so much sexual tension they can only be protesting against the other too much.
Mimi Jean once again writes a book that is snarky, fun, twisty, and unexpected in the way you’ve come to expect from her. Although you can read this as a standalone it is a great fourth installment to the “series” with interconnected characters. There is a mild cliffhanger at the end, but she wraps up the story commendably while leaving it to easily and seamlessly continue into another installment.
February 10, 2019
This was a fun read from start to finish. Abi is striking out on a new career for herself as a bodyguard and Mitch is her first client and he’s not too impressed to have a female guarding him.
The story had me hooked with it’s charismatic male lead “The Bulge” Mitch Hofer, an Olympic swimmer and swimwear model (his nickname just cracked me up) and Abi, his enthusiastic bodyguard. To add interest, the chemistry between them is out of this world but Mitch, who is really quite a nice guy, comes across as an obnoxious bore and very ungrateful and Abi, who turns out to be more than she seems.
This was a fast paced read, with plenty of humour and a little action. There’s surprises here and there and the addition of visiting pasted characters which is always welcome. A great addition to the series, I highly recommend it!
The story had me hooked with it’s charismatic male lead “The Bulge” Mitch Hofer, an Olympic swimmer and swimwear model (his nickname just cracked me up) and Abi, his enthusiastic bodyguard. To add interest, the chemistry between them is out of this world but Mitch, who is really quite a nice guy, comes across as an obnoxious bore and very ungrateful and Abi, who turns out to be more than she seems.
This was a fast paced read, with plenty of humour and a little action. There’s surprises here and there and the addition of visiting pasted characters which is always welcome. A great addition to the series, I highly recommend it!
February 13, 2019
See the full review at HarlequinJunkie.com
Actual Rating: 4.5 Stars
Battle of the Bulge was a hilarious yet heartfelt novel filled with all the raunchy, snarky goodness I expect out of Mimi Jean Pamfiloff’s work. What I wasn’t expecting was to fall absolutely head over heels for Mitch and Abi, or to be so surprised by the final epic plot twist. (Why do I picture MJP laughing and saying “Excellent” a la Monty Burns when she reads that last sentence?)
Mimi’s OHellNo series might as well be called OHellYes, because I just can’t get enough of it. Abi and Mitch, particularly, resonated with me. As with all of the characters in this series, there was a whole lot more to them than met the eye. I loved that these two were both reaching out beyond their comfort zone, whether it was shy Abi with her dangerous new job as a bodyguard, or Mitch pushing himself physically and socially. Read More
Actual Rating: 4.5 Stars
Battle of the Bulge was a hilarious yet heartfelt novel filled with all the raunchy, snarky goodness I expect out of Mimi Jean Pamfiloff’s work. What I wasn’t expecting was to fall absolutely head over heels for Mitch and Abi, or to be so surprised by the final epic plot twist. (Why do I picture MJP laughing and saying “Excellent” a la Monty Burns when she reads that last sentence?)
Mimi’s OHellNo series might as well be called OHellYes, because I just can’t get enough of it. Abi and Mitch, particularly, resonated with me. As with all of the characters in this series, there was a whole lot more to them than met the eye. I loved that these two were both reaching out beyond their comfort zone, whether it was shy Abi with her dangerous new job as a bodyguard, or Mitch pushing himself physically and socially. Read More
February 14, 2019
I've read this entire series and it just gets better with each book. But what really sets this one apart is that even though the "bulge" is talked about all throughout the book, this is a sweet romance that relies on the characters and their dialogue instead of the smexy times. Sure the smexy times are more at the end of the book and its hawt, but we really get to know Abi and Mitch. Plus, come on, no one writes a rom-com like Ms. Pamfiloff. I couldn't help but giggle throughout most of the book. The "enemies to lovers" trope is perfection when Ms. Pamfiloff's writes it. Sure, sure, I've read other books using the same trope but Ms. Pamfiloff is the queen in my opinion.
So why did I like the book? Easy, I just pictured Ian Thorpe as Mitch. And yes, I do watch the Olympics, especially swimming. *sigh* I remember the battle between the Aussies and Americans. Gary Hall, Ian Thorpe, Janet Evans, etc. Most fun I've ever had watching the Olympics. But I digress...okay, so it's the characters, Abi and Mitch. Abi and Mitch are very well thought out and well-written characters. You get to know them, their thoughts, reactions but more importantly how they relate to each other. You can also relate to them as real people. Abi with her issues and Mitch with the ongoing threat to him and why. It was interesting getting into Mitch's head when it came to swimming and why it was so important to him.
Abi is just pure fun and joy. I loved that Georgie and Sam played a big part in this book. You need to read book #3 for them. Oh man, I missed them and it was great to see Tass and Elle from the first two books, too. I forgot how much fun Elle and Tass really are the geekiness is still strong with those two. LOL! Plus, getting the real story about Georgie and Abi and the deep love that they really have for each other. And I can't forget Sam. The banter between Abi and Sam is classic but you can see the real respect that they have for each other.
I'm not going to spoil how the book plays out but I highly recommend that if you are looking for a fantastic enemies to lovers story, look no further than this book. In fact the whole series. The books can be read out of order so don't worry about that. I can't wait to see the next book in the series. Leland, hopefully, will continue the story about the photos and how he ties into Mitch.
So why did I like the book? Easy, I just pictured Ian Thorpe as Mitch. And yes, I do watch the Olympics, especially swimming. *sigh* I remember the battle between the Aussies and Americans. Gary Hall, Ian Thorpe, Janet Evans, etc. Most fun I've ever had watching the Olympics. But I digress...okay, so it's the characters, Abi and Mitch. Abi and Mitch are very well thought out and well-written characters. You get to know them, their thoughts, reactions but more importantly how they relate to each other. You can also relate to them as real people. Abi with her issues and Mitch with the ongoing threat to him and why. It was interesting getting into Mitch's head when it came to swimming and why it was so important to him.
Abi is just pure fun and joy. I loved that Georgie and Sam played a big part in this book. You need to read book #3 for them. Oh man, I missed them and it was great to see Tass and Elle from the first two books, too. I forgot how much fun Elle and Tass really are the geekiness is still strong with those two. LOL! Plus, getting the real story about Georgie and Abi and the deep love that they really have for each other. And I can't forget Sam. The banter between Abi and Sam is classic but you can see the real respect that they have for each other.
I'm not going to spoil how the book plays out but I highly recommend that if you are looking for a fantastic enemies to lovers story, look no further than this book. In fact the whole series. The books can be read out of order so don't worry about that. I can't wait to see the next book in the series. Leland, hopefully, will continue the story about the photos and how he ties into Mitch.
February 15, 2019
BATTLE OF THE BULGE is the 4th book in the OHellNo series. It's actually my first read from Mimi Jean Pamfiloff but I had no problems jumping right into the middle of this series!
Mitch Hofer is an Australian Olympic swimmer who's known for more than just his skills in the pool. But he's in need of a bodyguard and Abi Carter just happens to be perfect for the role. The only problem? Mitch and Abi's almost one-night stand and the fact that they can barely stand to be in the same room together!
Oh my, out of all the rom com I've read, I'm not sure I ever remember reading such wonderfully snarky tongue twisters, phrases and come backs! So many times, I found myself snickering and outright LOLing. I immediately connected with Abi, she was absolutely hilarious, loyal and sweet but also tough in an almost accidental way, like she stumbled upon her courage and strength without really meaning to. It took me a little longer to warm up to Mitch. Several times I wanted to smack him upside the head, shake him so that he'd see what an awesome woman Abi was. But of course, things aren't always what you see and it becomes evident that Mitch has more to offer than just his...ahem...swimmers!
There's a bit of suspense in this one as Abi tries to protect Mitch from some unknowns. The twisty turns kept the pages flying and before I knew it, I was 70% in! Mitch and Abi's romance is a super slow burn but absolutely worth the wait. I definitely need to go back to book one in the series, I don't want to miss any more of these fabulous, quirky, comical characters. Told from dual POVs with a happy ending. I voluntarily read and reviewed this book.
Mitch Hofer is an Australian Olympic swimmer who's known for more than just his skills in the pool. But he's in need of a bodyguard and Abi Carter just happens to be perfect for the role. The only problem? Mitch and Abi's almost one-night stand and the fact that they can barely stand to be in the same room together!
Oh my, out of all the rom com I've read, I'm not sure I ever remember reading such wonderfully snarky tongue twisters, phrases and come backs! So many times, I found myself snickering and outright LOLing. I immediately connected with Abi, she was absolutely hilarious, loyal and sweet but also tough in an almost accidental way, like she stumbled upon her courage and strength without really meaning to. It took me a little longer to warm up to Mitch. Several times I wanted to smack him upside the head, shake him so that he'd see what an awesome woman Abi was. But of course, things aren't always what you see and it becomes evident that Mitch has more to offer than just his...ahem...swimmers!
There's a bit of suspense in this one as Abi tries to protect Mitch from some unknowns. The twisty turns kept the pages flying and before I knew it, I was 70% in! Mitch and Abi's romance is a super slow burn but absolutely worth the wait. I definitely need to go back to book one in the series, I don't want to miss any more of these fabulous, quirky, comical characters. Told from dual POVs with a happy ending. I voluntarily read and reviewed this book.
February 11, 2019
Thank you to Mimi and her team for the ARC copy of this!!!
I think a few tears slid down my leg while I was reading this!
Mimi has really let her natural snark lose in this, the fourth book in the OHellNo series, I'm thinking this is the best so far!
I absolutely loved it!
This time we get Abi and Mitch's chance at a HEA, and Mimi goes crazy!
We start with a failed hookup for Abi and the "built" newest hunk in the swimming and swimwear words., Mitch. After being unceremoniously dumped by Mitch the morning after their non event, Abi decides she hates Mitch and never wants to see him or hear his name again,... ever!
But the world and Karma have different ideas for her, and after her training as a security guard for Sam finishes with her passing with flying colours, she finds herself on her first assignment. Awesome!!.....or not!!!
Who's her first job babysitting for? Mitch. of course!
With this being an ARC review, I don't want to give too much of the story away, suffice it to say, it is well worth the read and the laugh!, and if you have read and loved Mimi's previous books in this series, you will absolutely love this one. Mimi obviously had a ball writing it!!
After a LOT of hilarious moments with our couple, and some serious stuff too, they get together, and the reader is set up nicely for the next book in the series, My Pen Is Big. Can't hardly wait!!
I think a few tears slid down my leg while I was reading this!
Mimi has really let her natural snark lose in this, the fourth book in the OHellNo series, I'm thinking this is the best so far!
I absolutely loved it!
This time we get Abi and Mitch's chance at a HEA, and Mimi goes crazy!
We start with a failed hookup for Abi and the "built" newest hunk in the swimming and swimwear words., Mitch. After being unceremoniously dumped by Mitch the morning after their non event, Abi decides she hates Mitch and never wants to see him or hear his name again,... ever!
But the world and Karma have different ideas for her, and after her training as a security guard for Sam finishes with her passing with flying colours, she finds herself on her first assignment. Awesome!!.....or not!!!
Who's her first job babysitting for? Mitch. of course!
With this being an ARC review, I don't want to give too much of the story away, suffice it to say, it is well worth the read and the laugh!, and if you have read and loved Mimi's previous books in this series, you will absolutely love this one. Mimi obviously had a ball writing it!!
After a LOT of hilarious moments with our couple, and some serious stuff too, they get together, and the reader is set up nicely for the next book in the series, My Pen Is Big. Can't hardly wait!!
October 13, 2019
Suspend all disbelief when reading this because how Abi is a bodyguard is so farfetched and ludicrous, it's actually funny. Usual antics and craziness that has been part of this series. A quick and easy read.
March 25, 2019
This is a reluctant 4 stars for me. I laughed a lot and totally fell in love with Mitch. But I just couldn't get behind the heroine. On one hand I live the idea of a female body guard. But I didn't like this female body guard.
Anyway this book was well written and is sure to be a hit for anyone who enjoys insta love and a well endowed athlete.
Anyway this book was well written and is sure to be a hit for anyone who enjoys insta love and a well endowed athlete.
April 11, 2024
A delightfully fun and fast paced rom-com
I'm not sure quite what I was expecting from this book. Having read some of the other OhHellNo books I knew this would be really well written and highly entertaining with some great characters to boot. What I didn't expect was the very witty plot that twisted this way and that and in some totally unexpected directions. In fact at one point I though MJP had dropped the ball and left a very loose thread in the story line, but no a few paragraphs later she picked up that strand and wove it into the rest of the tale.
Abi and Mitch are wonderful characters, they're a little larger than life but in the best of ways possible. I absolutely adored their love-to-hate you relationship, the snark, the battles and the unresolved sexual tension. Despite some very over the top action, the story still felt very believable and it totally engaged me from start to finish.
This is a wonderful book. it's funny, sexy, entertaining and full of feels. I thoroughly enjoyed every single page of it and highly recommend it as one to at to your TBR list.
I'm not sure quite what I was expecting from this book. Having read some of the other OhHellNo books I knew this would be really well written and highly entertaining with some great characters to boot. What I didn't expect was the very witty plot that twisted this way and that and in some totally unexpected directions. In fact at one point I though MJP had dropped the ball and left a very loose thread in the story line, but no a few paragraphs later she picked up that strand and wove it into the rest of the tale.
Abi and Mitch are wonderful characters, they're a little larger than life but in the best of ways possible. I absolutely adored their love-to-hate you relationship, the snark, the battles and the unresolved sexual tension. Despite some very over the top action, the story still felt very believable and it totally engaged me from start to finish.
This is a wonderful book. it's funny, sexy, entertaining and full of feels. I thoroughly enjoyed every single page of it and highly recommend it as one to at to your TBR list.
February 20, 2019
3* it wasn't what I expected because the story was kind of dragged
February 20, 2019
I love how Mimi mixes together new characters with previous characters in the series; in Battle of the Bulge, we literally get to catch up with all of them, YAY.
Adorkable heroines and douche to darling heroes make up the OhHellNo series with lots of sass to accompany the steam, Battle of the Bulge is no exception. However, Mimi takes it a step further with the addition of thriller elements when Mitch is life is threatened and a bounty placed on his head!!! With Abi’s new career as a bodyguard in order to help her mother financially, Mitch and Abi are thrown together under tense circumstances exasperated by their previous encounter which ended epically awfully.
Abi is blind to who she truly is but with the help of Bodyguard Bootcamp alongside the need to prove herself to Mitch who is adamant that women cannot be bodyguards, Abi is soon embracing her kickass nature. Loyal friend, amazing daughter and all around good person, Abi deserves respect and thankfully, does not put up with being treated badly. Although I will say she does forgive easily, personally I would have tortured Mitch a little before granting forgiveness 😉
Mitch is a swinging pendulum where his emotions are concerned. Despite his attraction to Abi he is determined to resist her because of the danger he currently faces. Causing Mitch to act out of character in order to push Abi away. Add in his dedication to his sport and his belief that it should be his only focus and you have a very complex situation for Mitch to work through.
The historical elements of the plot added depth to the story and an interesting plus topical aspect to the story, providing credibility to the thriller components included in the narrative. This was balanced by the colourful imagery of the swimsuit sponsors Mitch is contracted to – the fashion show was a hilarious part of the proceedings.
Adorkable heroines and douche to darling heroes make up the OhHellNo series with lots of sass to accompany the steam, Battle of the Bulge is no exception. However, Mimi takes it a step further with the addition of thriller elements when Mitch is life is threatened and a bounty placed on his head!!! With Abi’s new career as a bodyguard in order to help her mother financially, Mitch and Abi are thrown together under tense circumstances exasperated by their previous encounter which ended epically awfully.
Abi is blind to who she truly is but with the help of Bodyguard Bootcamp alongside the need to prove herself to Mitch who is adamant that women cannot be bodyguards, Abi is soon embracing her kickass nature. Loyal friend, amazing daughter and all around good person, Abi deserves respect and thankfully, does not put up with being treated badly. Although I will say she does forgive easily, personally I would have tortured Mitch a little before granting forgiveness 😉
Mitch is a swinging pendulum where his emotions are concerned. Despite his attraction to Abi he is determined to resist her because of the danger he currently faces. Causing Mitch to act out of character in order to push Abi away. Add in his dedication to his sport and his belief that it should be his only focus and you have a very complex situation for Mitch to work through.
The historical elements of the plot added depth to the story and an interesting plus topical aspect to the story, providing credibility to the thriller components included in the narrative. This was balanced by the colourful imagery of the swimsuit sponsors Mitch is contracted to – the fashion show was a hilarious part of the proceedings.
February 14, 2019
Forth installement in the ohhellno! Series.
Featuring character cameos from the previous books, Abi and Mitch.. who we met in book 3..this book is a wonderful mix of enemies to lovers/RomCom/contemporaryRomance and a thriller all rolled into one. This book is independent enough to be read as a standalone, but there are too many great characters with their own interesting back story for it to be read as so. If you haven’t read the earlier books in the series.. and to enjoy it at its fullest I would highly recommend reading the whole series from the start.
Finding herself with the weight of the world on her shoulders and a protect every one she loves attitude, Abi can’t help but try to solve her mums financial problems... which is how she finds herself working as a body guard for her best friends fiancé.
With memories of a wonderful night in which she thought she met her soulmate, Mitch...(who happens to be an Olympic swimmer and swim wear model) her client, is the one man she herself would love to put a hit out on. He’s more than a little resistant to have the wonderful abi as his bodyguard, and will do anything to keep her safe, even if it means breaking her heart and putting himself at risk.
This is another fantastic example of Mimi’s wonderful sense of humour at its finest, with a unique and interesting story that is packed with laughs and action and wonderful chemistry between the characters. This is a favourite series of mine by the author and this book did not disappoint.
I love how the books are interconnected and how each story starts seemingly in one direction but you end up in a completely different one that you expected... wonderfing how...🤣🤣🤣..but always happy with the story and how you got there!
Featuring character cameos from the previous books, Abi and Mitch.. who we met in book 3..this book is a wonderful mix of enemies to lovers/RomCom/contemporaryRomance and a thriller all rolled into one. This book is independent enough to be read as a standalone, but there are too many great characters with their own interesting back story for it to be read as so. If you haven’t read the earlier books in the series.. and to enjoy it at its fullest I would highly recommend reading the whole series from the start.
Finding herself with the weight of the world on her shoulders and a protect every one she loves attitude, Abi can’t help but try to solve her mums financial problems... which is how she finds herself working as a body guard for her best friends fiancé.
With memories of a wonderful night in which she thought she met her soulmate, Mitch...(who happens to be an Olympic swimmer and swim wear model) her client, is the one man she herself would love to put a hit out on. He’s more than a little resistant to have the wonderful abi as his bodyguard, and will do anything to keep her safe, even if it means breaking her heart and putting himself at risk.
This is another fantastic example of Mimi’s wonderful sense of humour at its finest, with a unique and interesting story that is packed with laughs and action and wonderful chemistry between the characters. This is a favourite series of mine by the author and this book did not disappoint.
I love how the books are interconnected and how each story starts seemingly in one direction but you end up in a completely different one that you expected... wonderfing how...🤣🤣🤣..but always happy with the story and how you got there!
February 13, 2019
Absolutely fantastic!!!! Once again M.J. writes another amazing, LOL book of awesomeness! I loved the dynamics, and the flow of the story. Of course the characters are perfectly written and leave you unable, or unwilling to put it down.
March 15, 2019
I'm so glad I bought this book in paperback. I laughed so hard so many times. This book is fantastic! I loved both Abi and Mitch. This book is definitely unforgettable.
June 15, 2019
Love!!!!
I was a little behind on this series, but all caught up. This book is hysterical, I couldn't put it down. Loved it from beginning to end.
I was a little behind on this series, but all caught up. This book is hysterical, I couldn't put it down. Loved it from beginning to end.
February 21, 2019
Giggles galore
Abi is a riot! I love her! She is one baddass and hilariously snarky bodyguard. Miss Mimi has become one of my favorite go-to authors. She never fails to entertain. I also learned some interesting new slang words, my favorite being crunt. Want to know what the heck I'm talking about? Go read and find out. Another satisfying read. Thank you for the giggle fest Mimi
Abi is a riot! I love her! She is one baddass and hilariously snarky bodyguard. Miss Mimi has become one of my favorite go-to authors. She never fails to entertain. I also learned some interesting new slang words, my favorite being crunt. Want to know what the heck I'm talking about? Go read and find out. Another satisfying read. Thank you for the giggle fest Mimi
February 27, 2019
Rating: 2-2.25
Soooo... I’m in the minority here, the reviews for this book have been high. Yet I found it to be simply ok. This was my first time reading something from this author. While it wasn’t horrible- the story was silly.
The light-hearted nature was ok- considering I was reading some pretty dark stuff prior to this story. But overall this was a 2 star rating reading for me. The chemistry between Abi and Mitch was lacking... even the report of them being in love- had me scratching my head. Like... when did that happen?! I just didn’t get.
I am, however, interested in reading the next story, Leland and Gisselle.
Soooo... I’m in the minority here, the reviews for this book have been high. Yet I found it to be simply ok. This was my first time reading something from this author. While it wasn’t horrible- the story was silly.
The light-hearted nature was ok- considering I was reading some pretty dark stuff prior to this story. But overall this was a 2 star rating reading for me. The chemistry between Abi and Mitch was lacking... even the report of them being in love- had me scratching my head. Like... when did that happen?! I just didn’t get.
I am, however, interested in reading the next story, Leland and Gisselle.
April 14, 2019
Sexy and funny couldn't stop reading
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