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Dear College Grad, You Have No Idea What Lays Ahead... Embrace Uncertainty.

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What do you want to do when you grow up?

My kids, now all in high school or college, have been asked this question ever since they could talk.

“Astronaut,” “bus driver,” “NBA star,” “crocodile hunter” and “actress” they used to say.

Their answers have evolved since then (thank goodness).

Most recently I’ve heard human rights lawyer, navy pilot, “something in media” and “no idea.”

What they ultimately end up doing is still an open field, which is a good thing. Because let’s face it, the future of work is not going to resemble what’s come before.

Millennials – those born between 1982 and 2000 – are facing an increasingly “VUCA” world of Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity and Ambiguity. Most certainly, the employment landscape for those graduating college today will be very different from what it was even five years ago. As stated in a recent McKinsey report, “The world of work is in a state of flux.”

My number one piece of advice to my kids and anyone about to enter the workforce? Get lots of it – from people you respect who have experience you don’t. Just never let what others think matter more than what you do.

With that said, here’s some more advice. Take what fits, ditch the rest and prepare yourself for an interesting ride.

1. Give yourself permission to make imperfect decisions

Many young people put enormous pressure on themselves to make perfect decisions – from picking the perfect college and choosing the perfect major to landing the perfect job once they leave school and, of course, finding the perfect partner. The idea that they might make a misstep at any juncture along the way fills them with dread.

Yet, as any adult with a few decades of adulthood under their belt would know, there is no single perfect path, and often we grow and learn the most from the times we’ve landed in situations that aren’t perfect. In other words, those situations that challenge us in unexpected ways.

I studied business at college and spent most my 20s working for Fortune 500 companies. Some roles I loved, while others…not so much. Yet I grew far more from the ones that didn’t work out well. The lesson:  Make the best decision you can right now, with what you know right now. Then trust that whatever happens, you’ll figure it out.

2. Set your own course

In her book, The Five Regrets of the Dying, palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware wrote that one of the biggest regrets people have as they near life’s end is that they lived the lives others wanted them to live, not the ones they wanted to live.

Your parents may have spent their lives paying off a large home or sending their kids to private schools or enjoying membership in a country club. If that is what excites you, go for it. You may also have come from long line of doctors, lawyers, ranchers or military officers, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right path for you.

Real success comes from feeling like what you do matters; it derives from doing work that is meaningful to you – drawing on your strengths and nurturing your talents. So beware of doing what will gain you approval (or avoid disapproval), if it’s at the cost of doing what will make you happy.

Identify your own values. Make your own plans. Express your own personality. Speak your own thoughts. Build your own life, and when other people’s priorities don’t align with your own, so be it.

3. Build bridges, never burn them

We may live in a world of hyper technological connectivity, but do not assume that the personal touch no longer matters. In fact, just the opposite is true. Building personal relationships - the genuine, authentic kind that transcend Insta likes and superficial selfie snaps - matter now more than ever.

While knowing people who know people is no guarantee of landing a plum job, it certainty increases the chances that you’ll at least learn of those jobs and get an interview. Your networks matter. The more people who know you and your abilities, who know what want and like you enough to help you get it, the larger the pool of those who can help you achieve your goals.

So if someone gives you their time, follow up with a note of thanks. Return calls. Return favors. Invest time in building relationships, and never underestimate where they may one day lead. Be a good friend, the kind people speak highly of in your absence. You have no idea what door a well-placed recommendation might open for you.

4. Leave the field open wide

Young people are, by nature, idealistic. Yet sometimes I see a passionate young person become so obsessed with an idea or pathway that they miss out on other paths that ultimately may be far more satisfying and could enable them to live a far more fulfilling life.) Explore plenty of options, and don’t let preconceptions or long-held ideas keep you from seeing potentially great opportunities.

Within the space of five years, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, the photograph, and the carbon transmitter used in telephones – while also filing over 100 patents for other inventions that amounted to nothing.

The point: You cannot know what’s going to be that one magical idea or option.

5. Defy the rules

While I’m on the Edison bandwagon, here’s something he once said: “Hell, there are no rules here - we’re trying to accomplish something!"

So yeah, break the rules. Challenge the norms. Defy convention. Question assumptions about what can and cannot be done. Ten years from now there are going to be all sorts of cool things happening, and they will not necessarily be obvious extensions of what you can see now. So learn the rules but don't follow them blindly to avoid disrupting the status quo.  This brave new world belongs to those who are willing to disrupt convention and defy old rules.

6. Prepare to pivot

A plane flying from LAX to Sydney doesn’t fly in a straight line. In fact, it spends most of the 15-hour trip seemingly off course, making thousands of micro course corrections as it goes.

Life is like that, too. It’s not linear. Expecting that you’re going to travel along some straight, pre-designated path is, well, delusional. Expect lots of twists and turns as you move along. Perhaps even a few complete turnarounds as you jump off one path and set your sights on an entirely different one. If there is one thing that is certain in this uncertain, brave new world, it’s that agility is crucial.

7. Do your homework, but trust your gut

When it comes to the big decisions in life, research finds that often our first preference is ultimately the best one. Sure, do your homework, but in the end, go with what feels right for you. As Steve Jobs said, “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

As I wrote in this previous column, trust your intuition. Ignoring it and relying solely on your excel spreadsheet of weighted 'pros and cons' can be costly.

8. Reframe failure

If you expect you’re going to land on your feet and hit the home run first job out the gate (or frankly, in any job), you’re headed for disappointment. Life doesn’t work that way. Expect to have failures. In fact, expect a lot of them. Just don’t over personalize them.

So you tried something. It didn’t work out. Join the club of the world’s most successful people. Because they fail far more than the legions who live in the ranks of mediocrity.

Extract whatever lesson you can and move on. Don’t interpret that failure as a permanent or personal deficiency on your part. As psychologist Martin Seligman says, “You can predict a person’s success by how they explain their failures.”

Creating a life you truly enjoy living – one that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, aligns with your values, draws on your strengths, and infuses meaning to your life – will sometimes require disappointing people, stepping away from the pack, and risking falling on your face in the process.

Do it anyway.

Because one distant day you’re going to look back on your one-and-only life, and if there’s one thing you want to avoid, it’s having to wonder “What if I’d tried?”

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