The term "personal development” is very much a part of today's lexicon, but have you ever thought about what it really means?
I describe personal development as a transformational journey, and improving your emotional intelligence (EI) can be a major part of that journey. This is because EI develops your self-awareness and gives you the tools to understand your own needs and the needs of others. EI also elevates your self-actualization by allowing you to honor those needs as well as understand them.
But how?
First, identify your needs and differentiate them from your wants. Recognize the moments when you act in alignment with your needs and feel positive from doing that.
Think of EI as a gadget that makes you aware of blind spots in your own personal development. EI opens up new opportunities and possibilities when you don’t see the powerful connection between your logic and your emotions. By growing your EI, you learn to serve your emotions better by utilizing alternative thinking. Alternative thinking means transforming or reframing your negative thoughts into neutral or positive ones.
Yes, your alternative thoughts are powerful, intricate measures that impact your current emotional state. By using them with deep awareness and positive intention, you are responsible for your own emotional state, and you have the ability to reset it. Learning about, measuring and boosting your EI can teach you that.
Although I am a coach who specializes in emotional intelligence, I believe developing personally so as to achieve your goals and aspirations is something you can do completely on your own. You are in charge of your desired reality!
Focus on achieving a fully-developed personal identity (understanding who you really are) to fully connect with all aspects of your personality, including recognizing your potential, personal values, dreams and aspirations.
Transforming from the current version of yourself to the best version of yourself is a lifelong process, not an event. It doesn’t simply happen. It needs constant attention and nurturing. There are no shortcuts. You must do your homework and be clear about the goals and desired outcomes that you, a unique individual in all your complexity, want to achieve.
Furthermore, personal development is not done in a vacuum. To be done correctly, you must have an appreciation for its impact on your human and structural surroundings. In other words, how does your transformation affect those around you and the environment in which you live and function?
Here are the necessary steps in your lifelong personal development journey:
1. Be honest with yourself by identifying your 10 most important values and measuring how much you currently honor them on a scale of 1 to 10. Focus on improving and having an action plan that brings you closer to your potential.
2. Be brave by recognizing your limitations and committing to your desired change.
3. Be curious about goals that support your dreams and aspirations by imagining different scenarios and options.
4. Be excited that you are no longer procrastinating when it comes to your personal and professional goals by telling your support circle about them.
5. Be creative in devising a method to measure your daily progress and create a reward system. Try to not miss two days in a row. If you miss a day, double up the next day.
6. Be proud that you're measuring your progress and closing the gaps, gaining desired outcomes and becoming a better version of yourself. Measure how much you honor your values currently on a scale of 1 to 10, and celebrate your commitment to personal development.
7. Be proactive and ask for help, especially when you need a boost of emotional intelligence in order to be aware of the thoughts, feelings and actions that create your current reality.
8. Be forgiving of yourself and ask for forgiveness from others by accepting your past mistakes and releasing guilt.
9. Be an internal light by glowing brighter for others when you share with them the unique gifts you discovered on your personal development journey.
10. Be progressive by choosing another 10 values you want to focus on. Remember, where your focus goes, your energy flows. Repeat steps 1-9.
Personal development allows you to enthusiastically embrace a learning opportunity — like reading an article such as this one — as an opportunity to learn new skills and perspectives in order to effectuate change and achieve. Other such opportunities include courses and seminars, self-help books, coaching, etc.
Remember that personal development is a lifelong journey, and if you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backward.
