A Day in the Life - The Return to Happiness
Every great sequel has an awesome name and so does this!
Every great sequel has an awesome name; Star Wars: the Empire Strikes Back, The Dark Knight, Matrix Reloaded. I think you can also see what kind of films I like to watch - maybe I should broaden my horizons!?
This particular sequel is called “The Return to Happiness” which is exactly what I have discovered in the last 12 months. Whenever I write an intense blog such as my last one about suicide, I always make a mental note to write a more uplifting one next time. So here it is.
About nine months ago I wrote “A Day in the Life” which described a typical day of torture and suffering in my head - from sleepless nights to panic attacks, struggling to breath, never leaving the house, not eating etc etc. In my first 4-5 therapy sessions I was told to focus on things that made me happy but for weeks I couldn’t find anything and nothing gave me any pleasure.
But eventually that slowly changed. So now I want to show you what a good day looks like for me now. I have found happiness again in many things and I genuinely appreciate them like never before. Of course I have some bad days but that’s not for now - this is an uplifting and positive blog so bugger off bad thoughts!
EXERCISE: My new obsession is going to my local iron paradise (I can’t thank you enough Ben A🏋️); a haven for bodybuilding and weights. I’m no bodybuilder (not even close!) but it gives me real peace and happiness. It was intimidating at first but now I’m even fist pumping a few guys as I walk in. Yes, I did just say fist pump, that’s what my new gym-buddies do. They also wear tight vests (I’m not at that stage yet) and talk about their complex protein diets. I can happily spend 2-3 hours there a day; headphones on, enjoying the discipline and process of lifting weights, sweating and counting my reps. I don’t think about anything else - its calming, therapeutic and always the best way to start my day
SUNSHINE ON MY FACE: I’m happy any day when the sun is shining, lapping up the blue sky and the warmth on my face. It is a huge comfort and I’ll chase every corner of the sun in my garden that I can. I know we’re heading in to Winter but when the sun bursts through the clouds and hits unexpectedly, that’s a huge comfort.
WOOF WOOF: My new bestie - Nutmeg. It’s true what they say about pets helping people with mental health problems. The walks, the hugs, the ball chasing and my new silly pet voice. I’ve perfected my dog-owner talk. “ You’re such a good girl. Who’s a good girl? Yes, you’re a good girl”. I love the regular walks, with a ball, with friends in a park, with my amazing family.
TUNA: Having lunch together with my family at home - it sounds so simple but for months and months I was never present and couldn’t focus on whatever was going on . We often have a spread of bagels, cheese, egg and onion, humous, smoked salmon. For me it is always a tuna, sweetcorn and pickle sandwich which I have perfected after 40 years (yes im old!) of being obsessed with tuna.
LIVE SPORT: I appreciate watching live sport like never before (maybe because of the lockdown enforced embargo). Whether it is Spurs or Saracens with the kids and my wife, I love it. Often eating chips and occasionally bribing the kids with sweets (good parenting). The bonus of rugby is that we play on the pitch afterwards, sometimes taking selfies with the players.
BOOTCAMP: If I had the luxury of a whole week (I sometimes do!) I would go to my favourite bootcamp called No.1 Bootcamp. It's a great reboot for my head and is pure fun and healthy living. Six hours of exercise a day, incredible healthy food, ten minutes from the beach, lovely people and pure relaxation for my head. Take a look!
THE FUN LIST: I worried I wasn’t making the most of my days (I hate not working to be honest and that was grating on me) so my wife’s great idea was to make a list of new and fun things to do, and commit one or two days a week to ticking a few off. Here are a few I’m doing/done: Learn the rubik's cube, go to an art class, climb the O2, play tennis, go to a fitness exhibition, Brighton (love the seaside) for the day, Paris for the day, a Jet Boat ride etc.
Hopefully you can see that things are generally much better now. I have six good days a week and one bad day which is pretty normal for most people. Except my bad days are a lot darker than the average but I understand them now and realise what triggers me. I’m also down to one or two panic attacks per month instead of twenty (yes really - TWENTY) a day - so that’s clearly massive progress. My medication and therapy help me but so do all these things above which make me smile.
Now I just have two favours to ask you please: 1) Send this to two people in your network who just might be struggling and can’t find anything to be happy about. I remain staggered that the awareness around mental health and depression remains so low. 2) Can you give me good ideas to add to my FUN TO DO list? I'm all ears….
Love reading these buddy. Don’t be modest. You’re defo ready for the tight vest!