Social Psychologist, Bestselling Author, International Keynote Speaker, Power & Presence, Bullying & Bravery
After my talk at WOBI in Sydney earlier this month, I was asked to share what I viewed to be the single-most important bit of advice for leaders, and it’s this: Every single person wants and needs to be seen. Take the time to do that. It’s not frivolous. It’s not secondary or tertiary. It’s not “woo-woo.” It is the most fundamental psychological need in relationships, inside and outside work. And it is, tragically, often neglected by leaders who most need to do it. SEE each other.
#validation 💯 (also in our relationships we need to be heard - not just listened to - but heard with a view toward understanding one another) 👊
I couldn’t agree more Amy, people need to feel validated and understood by their leaders. You can’t create the conditions for trust and psychological safety without connection.
By 'seeing' another human, you tell them: - You matter - You belong - You are worthy - You are enough - You are important Be humane. Make a difference. Amy Cuddy
Introverts don’t care so much to be seen.
So true. We all long to really be seen, not superficially, but as the magnificent humans we each are. Take the time to be present when you're with someone -to really see them...and "get" them. It makes a huge difference, and we can all make a difference.
Spot on. Seeing and connecting with your team requires skills such as listening, presence, curiosity, among others. Self-awareness as a leader of where you fall & how to improve these skillsets will support your ability to connect with others.
Attention is an innate human need. An experiment allegedly carried out by Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II in the 13th century saw young infants raised without human interaction in an attempt to determine if there was a natural language that they might demonstrate once their voices matured. The experiment had to be halted because, without social interaction, the babies were dying even though their other needs for food, warmth and shelter were met. There is a simple African greeting which means ‘I see you.’ Says it all really…
Your message resonates deeply. Recognizing and valuing each individual is the very essence of truly impactful leadership. It's by genuinely 'seeing' our teams that we can inspire and motivate, and that's where real change begins.
I think it's belonging and mattering. Wherever I am on the introvert-extrovert spectrum I'd like to be understood, appreciated, validated. Even catered to on occasion, especially if I find I'm on the Cassandra-end of things...like, "You outlier, you, who routinely stirs stuff up. We value you and your annoying opinions!" And when that statement is part of the culture, everyone who has a little outlier in them is breathing easier. And they can contribute more real stuff, not just go-along-get-along.
Principal at Lumen Christi Catholic Primary School
7moIt was so lovely to finally meet you in person Amy. I love your messaging and it is core to who I am as a leader. Thank you for continuing to inspire the world to be better.