Everything Elon Musk Did While Visiting Israel

Facing millions in lost advertising revenue after he championed an antisemitic conspiracy theory on Twitter, Elon Musk toured Israel and met with the country’s leaders. The Onion examines everything Musk did while visiting Israel.

Close enough.

As many others can attest, this is the highest sign of respect from Musk.

According to witnesses, South African–born Musk immediately dropped to his knees after stepping on Israeli soil, overwhelmed with joy to be back in a state segregated by race and religion.

Musk claimed he was the first one to come up with the idea of using tunnels and accused Hamas of plagiarism.

Musk was obviously under the impression that the Israeli government was in possession of the notorious Jewish space laser and was visibly disappointed when he was informed it didn’t exist.

Musk attempted to demonstrate his Cybertruck’s ability to handle rough terrain, but wound up trapped in the wreckage of a building with the vehicle’s wheels spinning.

Ahead of the billionaire’s visit, Netanyahu was nice enough to set aside a Palestinian neighborhood for Musk to destroy.

And learned some new ones!

Musk quickly bonded with the young woman over the hilarious memes they both shared on their accounts, and the two discussed how offended the woke snowflakes would be when reading their most fire posts.

This was one of the first things he did in Israel, and even though the man said no, Musk laughed and did it anyway.

Musk offered Netanyahu $20 million to take Gaza private.

This happened several times. Nearly every hour, in fact.

Musk then shot his own foot off with a rocket launcher.

All he has to do is reply with a photo of himself alongside Netanyahu anytime he posts a conspiracy theory about Jews destabilizing world governments.

Although Netanyahu thought it would be fun to shoot missiles at American protestors, he ultimately declined.

Shit really fucks you up.

The epic meme Musk left at the holy site featured a picture of Minions with the text “God isn’t real.”

Musk donned his signature trench coat, gloves, and plaid deerstalker cap as he pulled out a magnifying glass and scoured Israel for clues.

Musk spent the majority of his visit with Netanyahu grumpily staring at his phone and grunting whenever the Israeli prime minister attempted to communicate with him.

He claimed it was to help promote free speech.

Musk was surprised to run into the New York City mayor, who loved Israel so much during his August visit that he decided to rent a condo and remain in Tel Aviv.

He thought it was pretty good but a little spicy.

It was nice for once to forgo the self-driving feature and do it himself.

Someday the technology will catch up with his vision.

Yeehaw.

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