The Best Bottle Of Wine Based On Your Zodiac Sign
We all like to pretend we know about wine. But when faced with an entire wall of Cabernets at the local supermarket or wine shop, even otherwise intelligent people give up and pick a bottle because the label looks cool. No shame in that, certainly, but sometimes figuring out what you like then asking for a little help can lead you to a wine that's absolutely perfect. Of course, the first part of that is figuring out what you want, and when you can't narrow it down much past "red" and "white," even the most seasoned sommelier might find it hard to make a good recommendation.
Perhaps the answer lies in the stars. If astrology can guide us to big decisions like who we marry and where we live, it should be able to pick out a nice red to have with dinner, right? One wine shop and restaurant in Miami thinks so, and has begun offering a monthly wine box based on that month's astrological sign. We chatted with Vinya Table co-owner and sommelier Allegra Angelo and her resident astrologer Valerie Mesa, and they told us the best, affordable bottles of wine for every astrological sign.
Capricorn
Capricorn is a winter sign, a snug and cozy sign kicking off on the shortest day of the year on the winter solstice. "Capricorns are very dark, brooding, and mysterious," says Mesa, "the strong, silent type." They're more pragmatic than emotional, and are embodied by a goat methodically working their way up a mountain. They are often overachievers who love structure and a sense of authority, and would rather do things the right way or not at all.
Allegro chose the Petit Chablis from Yvon et Laurent Vocoret as the wine for our meticulous goats. "This sign reminds me of the Chablis region in Burgundy," says Angelo. "It's very cold, but it overachieves." The petit Chablis is the crème de la crème of wine drinking, an entry-level offering from many top French wine producers that costs far less than their higher-end options. "It's on the low end but it's still very powerful," she continues. "So experts will see a petit chablis on a restaurant's wine list for a (lower price) and be like, 'Oh my god, that's the one!'"
Aquarius
If Capricorn is cold and methodical, then Aquarius is the exact opposite. It's offbeat, eccentric, erratic, and sometimes spontaneous. It's a visionary, much like Sagittarius, but more so in the sense that it looks to the future. "Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, it's a sign of technology, innovation, andalso community," says Mesa. "Leo and Aquarius live on the same axis, but if Leos are all about the individual, Aquarius is about community." Aquarius likes to bring people together for good times and celebration, the catalyst for lasting memories with friends and loved ones.
Almost all wine could be considered the cause of a good time with friends. But Angelo says Orange Wine, and particularly Cardedu's "Bucce" bottling as the go-to for gathering-happy Aquarius. Bucce means "on the skins" in Italian, according to the somm, and it's a heavy skin-contact wine from the island of Sardinia. "To me it represents innovation, and a drive to do something different," she says. "Lots of these producers are smaller, too, like little family, small community producers." The label speaks to Aquarius' creativity too, a funky, tie-dye number Angelo describes as fun and classy at the same time.
Pisces
Pisces are starry-eyed dreamers, a whimsical, musical, emotionally adaptable, and imaginative sign. "A lot of Pisces are typically in creative fields, because they're just great at anything artistic," says Mesa. "They're highly creative, highly sensitive, so their environment involves a very vivid imagination." To put it simply, Pisces are highly sensitive to their environment, and need a wine as reactionary and volatile as they are.
Anyone who remembers the monologues from "Sideways" can probably guess the pick here is Pinot Noir. But Angelo gives it a little twist, recommending a Pinot Noir from Fabien Coche Bourgogne Rouge from the Burgundy region of France. "When we think of all the grapes in the world, Pinot noir is the most sensitive, fickle, and sensual," she says. "They are musical when you drink them and experience them, they are intriguing, creative, and sensitive to their environment. And to me, that's like completely Pisces."
Aries
Aries are the leadoff hitters of the Zodiac, maybe not the strong leaders you'd find in Leo but the perfect people to get things started. "Aries is that initial pick me up," says Mesa. "People born into this sign are highly competitive go-getters, very passionate, hot-headed, and sassy." Baseball fans might remember hall of fame leadoff man Ricky Henderson, who never failed to kickstart an inning and help his team win. But he was also known for his difficult attitude.
Athletic, enthusiastic, and over the top you say? Nothing screams all of that quite like a big Napa Cap. "That's just the spirit of the Napa Valley," says Angelo. "Wines, and particularly cabs, from there have so much energy and intensity and they're fiercely passionate." Her pick for the Aries of Napa Cabs comes from Croze, a velvety, rich wine she describes as a "hotheaded go-getter."
Tuarus
The bull comes out in the peak of spring, where colors shine bright and weather pretty much everywhere is perfect. As such, Taurus is drawn to the finer things in life, and though the sign is ruled by a diligent, earthy ethos it still likes to sit back and relax with a nice meal and glass of wine. "Taurus is all about stop and smell the roses energy," says Mesa, "They just wanna lay back, enjoy the day, and maybe take a nap."
"Oh my God!" responded Angelo, a Taurus herself. "I chose a stop-and-smell-the-roses wine that has a rosy undertone!" The pick: Langhe Nebbiolo from Michele Reverdito. If you're not familiar with this grape, it's one that can be aged for a long, long time, making the end product a result of patience and appreciation for the process. "You can't rush a Nebbiolo when you drink it," says Angelo, "You have to open it, wait, then enjoy it. It's got its own clock." Much like a bull who saunters in and does things on its own time, the grandeur of a good Langhe Nebbiolo comes to you when it's good and ready.
Gemini
Gemini is never satisfied, a fast-moving, constantly stimulated speedster who might be the antithesis to slow-moving Taurus. As a result, they're incredibly fickle and versatile, preferring quick hit, intense interactions to lazy days under the sun. "They're sort of the trickster of the Zodiac," says Mesa. "They're witty, brilliant intellectuals, and they're always on the go and moving."
A light, fast paced wine that's never in the same place twice? "To me, that's 100% Riesling," says Angelo. "It's all over the place, it could be dry, it could be sweet, and it's fast when you drink it." Laser sharp Resiling will keep even the shortest attention-spanned Gemini entertained, drinking down fast and offering something new every time you try a new bottle. Her favorite for Gemini is the Dry Riesling from Gut Hermannsberg, a German producer who keeps their wines bright and fast. And at just $18 a bottle, it won't break the bank.
Cancer
If Gemini is constantly on the move, Cancer is happiest when chilling out at home. Cancers likely thrived during the height of 2020 lockdowns, having nowhere to go and nothing to be mad about. Cancers are the matriarch of the Zodiac, the mom who greets you after a long day with a hug and a hot meal. "They make people around them feel safe, and they like to feel safe," says Mesa. "They're a very emotional, sensitive homebody."
Looking for a wine that makes you feel at home, Angelo opted for Châteauneuf-du-Pape from Pierre Usseglio. It's a blend of grenache, syrah, mourvedre, and cinsault, that's the ultimate wine to enjoy around the family dinner table. "If you envision a Châteauneuf-du-Pape, it's the bottle on the table with a bunch of friends and family around," says Angelo. "If you're tasting this, there's only one place you can be, and that's the southern Rhone, probably in a farmhouse." That said, Cancers are ruled by the moon, and can change mood quickly if conditions shift. The same can be said for this wine, that's initially warm and cozy but can quickly shift to elegant or over the top.
Leo
Leo's just love to be the center of attention, a sunshiny sign who has all eyes on them when they enter the room. At least they hope so. They are creative and expressive, playful, and charismatic. And above all else, Leos like to have a good time. "Leo is all about authenticity, all about celebration," says Mesa. "Leo is a big kid at heart, and wherever they go, the party goes."
One might think this would put Leo squarely in the champagne category, but that would be discounting Leo's love of things that run a little bolder. That's why Cru Beaujolais from Daniel Bouland Chiroubles is the lion's move. It's a light, playful wine that still carries enough flavor and depth to be interesting, and is a hit at every social event it attends. "If there's a dinner with like 10 wines on the table, the Cru Beaujolais is definitely gonna be grabbed for first," says Angelo. "If I go to a party, I'm gonna bring a Leo. But I'm also gonna bring Cru Beaujolais."
Virgo
Virgos are all about organization, whether that means alphabetizing their spice drawers or having every email in a highly specific folder. They're diligent hard workers who don't need the limelight like "Hey! Look at me!" Leos, but still get things done while flying under the radar. "Virgo is very methodical and strategic, so we were able to match that energy with a grape that is very much the same," says Mesa.
Virgo is actually the first sign Mesa and Angelo have collaborated on for Vinya, offering a three-wine boxed set they intend to continue as the signs of the Zodiac march on. The most approachable of the initial selections is a Cabernet Franc from Domaine des Chaintres Saumur-Champigny. "Virgos are more down to Earth, simple, precise, and elegant," says Angelo. "And we think this varietal reflects a more earthy tone, but is a raw, clean wine." She added that the wine can still be a little enigmatic, like Virgos, adding a little bit of mystery to the overall experience.
Libra
Libras love beautiful things, the kickoff sign for fall that always seeks to be in good company. Libras are happiest when surrounding themselves with positive energy, and are perpetual charmers who know how to cultivate the right crowd. "Libras like everything to be aesthetically pleasing," says Mesa. "The vibe of clinking glasses is very much the vibe of the Libra, with somebody who makes you feel good."
Clinking glasses seems almost too perfect for Angelo's selection for Libras, good old fashioned champagne. She suggests Vinya's house champagne, Pierre Cellier, a yeasty, biscuity, red fruit blend of 60% pinot noir and 40% chardonnay that's ideal for toasting any type of good time. It's made by fabled champagne house Phillippe Gonet, but this entry-level bottle sells for about $40 and tastes far finer. Angelo notes it's exactly the wine you want when gathering with people who make you feel good, as the wine has very much the same effect.
Scorpio
Scorpios are the sexiest sign of the Zodiac, and while not always a good decision, are always a good time. The mysterious, passionate Scorpio is a sign of transformation and regeneration, whether that means going all in with one or swearing off them forever. "Scorpios have this sex appeal because they're difficult to read and constantly have these cycles of life and death," says Mesa. "They're what I like to call the lightest side of the dark side."
Much like Scorpios, the Priorat region of Spain is mysterious and often misunderstood. Its wines are rich, sultry, and fruity, but have warm undertones of earthiness and licorice that belie a stronger grounding than their initial flavor bombs let on. That said, Priorats are fairly lawless — there are no rules for what goes into one — so though they're usually made up of Grenache and Carignan, and with Priorat –- much like with Scorpios –- anything goes. And, typically, you either love them or hate them, but they're always intriguing. Angelo suggests the Priorat Mas d'en Gil Coma Vell if you're looking to tempt the scorpion's bite.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius are eternal optimists, enthusiastic, and always down for an adventure. A Sagittarius will take risks, make a plan, and have no problems if the plans fall apart, typically shrugging off potential disaster with a smiling, "What's the worst that could happen?" People born in the Sagittarius season are born around the holidays, and portray the hope, wonder, and open-heartedness that comes with that time of year. "After Scorpio has that death and rebirth phase, Sagittarius is almost like a second chance at life," says Mesa.
And what is more adventurous and open to anything than a wine that comes from the shadow of a volcano? That's the reasoning behind Angelo's pick of Etna Rosso from I Custodi Aetneus, a winery set on the island of Sicily near Mount Etna. It takes a true visionary and optimist to grow grapes with the impending threat of an eruption, especially when you're literally planting vines on the volcano's slope. "When you drink these wines, you can almost taste the thrill and adventure," says Angelo. "They're filled with dark red fruits, and very cerebral." Also, Sagittarius is a fire sign, and, well, this wine is literally fertilized by lava.