Cutting My Hair Short - Rethinking Beauty Standards
Well…I did it. Cut my hair down to pixie length! I prefer that term to ‘boy-short’ because hair is gender-neutral, ya know? It feels appropriate to dedicate a whole blog post to the conversation around hair and beauty…because certain hairstyles seem to accompany certain adjectives. Long hair often provokes the words: earthy, goddess-like, feminine. Short hair: edgy, boyish, maybe lesbian?
I always considered myself to be quite feminine (by societal norms), and took pride in maintaining a feminine beauty standard which certainly included long hair (in that narrow-minded view). But, to be honest, I just couldn’t stand having hair in my face! It was always pulled back in a bun; only on special occasions would I really let it down for a look. I do wish that it didn’t bother me so much, but it came down to function over fashion for me. Especially on this long cross-country trip, I wanted a hairstyle that would be easy to maintain!
As I walked into a hair salon in Missoula, the fear and shame started to creep in. Would the men I’d dated in the past feel embarrassed to have been with me? “If they didn’t get closure, I bet they’ll have it now”, I thought. Would I ever date again with my short hair? Would everyone just assume that I was a lesbian? My whole love life went up in flames in my mind - mini ego deaths at every turn. I had thought about cutting my hair for a few months before, so there were no tears for the loss of locks. However, I did get this knot in my stomach… was I still beautiful? I couldn’t quite convince myself of it as I looked in the mirror, feeling like more like a toy-soldier than a woman.
It was important for me to experience that doubt because it revealed the shadow-self that still needed love within me. My shadow (really, the inner child that felt invalidated) needed to be embraced and loved unconditionally. I was reminded that we are souls having a physical experience - we are here to play and experiment! I decided to have fun with it, mess around with new looks and new identities, and challenge my ego who loves to dictate what is socially acceptable. Now, I can laugh when I think about all the fears I faced in the salon.
This week has been about reconnecting to my divine feminine. Embracing my sensuality, replenishing my body with high vibrational foods and spring water, and going confidently in the direction of my dreams with this new mask. Every morning I make sure to look in the mirror and tell myself I am gorgeous, brave, smart, loved, desired, admired. I am an amazing human being! And so are you. So, I’ll challenge you now to think of a part of your appearance that strongly defines who you perceive yourself to be. What would happen if you lost that? Could you still love yourself?
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