How do you regain love in a relationship? It's difficult and a long hard road without any easy fixes, but there are some definite things you can do to regain love from a partner, be it a long-term boyfriend or a new relationship. It happens to the best of us—that certain point when something seems to click, and you realize the relationship has become dull and the intense love you had has now become just a mutual partnership. You are happy to be together, but not exactly enthralled by the passion.When we begin a relationship, everything is brand new, so the feelings you encounter enthral and fill you with joy. However, after a certain amount of time, it's natural that those feelings start to dissipate. Although you still feel something towards the main squeeze in your life, the love isn't all encompassing any more. So how do you go about regaining love when a coupling reaches that stage?Step One: Take a step backwards to go forward.
Try and remember what those first few days, weeks or even (if you're very lucky) years were like. Ask yourself what you did differently and how you treated each other. And then try, with the co-operation of your boyfriend or husband, to relive those moments. Go out on a first date again, to a nice fancy restaurant, and maybe order the same meals you would have eaten back then. Regain love and passion! For one night, forget about calories and kids and cost for the night! These small things can be very important in trying to trigger your mind in to remembering how you felt about someone, and why you felt the way that you once felt.
Step Two: Compromise, compromise, compromise!
Compromise: It's a key word, and one that I can't emphasise enough. Compromise! At this stage of your relationship, you probably know when your significant other is going to object to something, or when he's going to want to participate in an activity you have no interest in. You will have built up a quick response system to counter these things: "No, I don't want to do this" or "We are going to that dinner party, whether you like it or not". These sorts of stock responses are not conducive to a successful, happy relationship and can stop you from regaining love in your relationship. Instead, consciously think about your answer to one of your partner's requests, take a moment to understand and think about what he's saying, and give a clear, measured response. Hopefully, over time you can learn to compromise on some things, and if he wants the relationship to continue and your love to come back to him, then he'll notice that and respond. Even if you end up disagreeing on something, or saying no, the fact you have clearly considered a response before answering will do the power of good. And hey, you might actually enjoy some of the activities you never would have done before!Step Three: Make new friends and have more of an outside life.
To regain love, you may first have to broaden your horizons, so the man in your life starts to crave attention. When you spend time apart, you will appreciate your time together much more! These outside interests could be anything (except an affair of course) that you find interesting or that you’ve always wanted to try. If you have kids, get to know other parents and spend time with them. If you want to get fit, join a gym and start training your body, not for him, for yourself.
Maybe you've always had a dream of spending time painting, or some other creative pastime. This is your chance to do it! All of these activities have one thing in common—your man can join you in these pursuits. If he does, then as well as spending some extra quality time with each other, you may find a shared love for a hobby or skill. If he doesn’t, at the very least, you’ll start to be happier with your new life, and when a person is happier, it is easier to regain love all around.Step Four: Don't play games.
I don't mean Monopoly or Scrabble! The mind games and digs at each other have to stop. You may feel justified in what you say or what you do during one of these verbal battles, but over time they not only wear you out, but also kill your partner's longing to be with you. Start being straight with each other rather than beating about the bush and making snide comments. Mind games in some situations can be fun, and completely harmless, such as teasing in the bedroom, or play fighting. These can actually help foster a good relationship, and be healthy reminders of why you love each other. However the petty arguments that can start to creep in to a relationship after a while do nothing to help you start to regain love like you felt when you first met. Doing or saying things “to get back” at someone will always lead to regret.Step Five: Be Honest.
Honesty—one simple word, but probably the most important aspect to a relationship, and certainly an essential part of regaining love that may have lapsed. I'm sure you were honest at some point in your bonding, when nothing seemed taboo, and you could tell your partner everything there was to know about yourself. As we grow, things change, and two things happen.
First, you’ll feel more comfortable with your significant other and be able to talk about things that would have before embarrassed you. However, the second things that happens is that you begin to feel uncomfortable telling him certain information, such as about a co-worker that hit on you or sexual repression you’ve been feeling.Because you don’t want to hurt feelings, you simply omit things. It may not be big, but it's all these little lies and dishonesties that could end up costing you a life together. Instead, try being 100% open with your partner. You'll find each other opening up together, and as well as promoting love toward each other, it'll also get you talking, and communicating easily with each other.Step Six: Trust one another. Following on from the last step and working hand in hand with it, trust is the key to a lasting bond of love. If you don't trust your partner, then love is not apparent. If we allow it to, untrusting thoughts consume us. Regaining love without first regaining trust will be an uphill struggle, and so start to work through your insecure feelings as soon as possible. Ask yourself why you have lost the faith you once had in your man, and what either you or he could do to regain that, and make things right again.Step Seven: Communication is Essential.
As with honesty and trust, communication is one of those key elements in regaining love, and is essential for any push to rekindle a relationship. Talk to each other honestly and openly, about the weather, the latest American Idol, and the movie you want to see. Ask him how his day at work went, and tell him how yours was. Although it might seem obvious, it's surprising how many couples forget to just sit down and talk to one another. Small conversions can help you open the doors to the important things you need to discuss.
Step Eight: Regain the romance.
You've been out on that second first date, had your meal and are now sitting, sipping wine. Don't let the evening and the closeness end there, instead hold hands, brush his hair from his face, and generally make a fuss of the man you love. He may need encouraging, especially if he's out of the habit of doing the same, but if he was once a romantic young man, he still has it in him, it just needs to be coaxed out.If you make that first move, you never know where the evening may end up! In general, to regain love in your relationship, romance is essential. This and the other steps listed provide a very good framework for regaining love in that relationship you don't want to end. As with all things, teamwork is essential, so get your partner on board with the program. If he's not willing, or not able, then maybe it's time to look for a new partner who better understands your need for love.