Have you ever worked with someone who sucked the life out of the room? A distinct shift occurs when they enter a meeting or open their mouth during a conversation, yet they seem utterly clueless about their effect on others.
If you answered yes (or maybe silently suspected you were that person), there’s good news: You can cultivate the two aspects needed to combat that undesirable outcome.
Your self-awareness and energy have a symbiotic relationship, and the savviest leaders understand that mastering that winning combo is the key to career success; here are six ways how:
1. Understand that self-awareness isn’t just about you
Self-awareness is not just about knowing how you move through the world; it’s about knowing how your energy affects others. (Read: It’s not just about you.) This perspective allows you to understand that everything is connected—your interactions with other people, how they perceive you, your attitude, and your responses to them in the moment—and all can be enhanced through better self-awareness.
2. Don’t assume you know how others perceive you
What we think we’re projecting and how others receive our energy can be two very different things. To bridge the gap, seek the input of others. Ask trusted colleagues how you came across in a meeting, and if it wasn’t what you intended, use that knowledge to be more mindful before your next gathering.
3. Realize that your energy sets the tone for others
Years ago, at a CEO forum I attended, a speaker discussed how we show up — literally — to the office. He said the way a leader addresses her team members, especially her first interaction, sets the tone. For example, when someone asks, “How are you?” he suggests a reply like, “I’m on fire!” rather than “Fine” or “Okay” to produce more positive energy.
4. Hone your powers of observation
Awareness is all about honing your powers of observation, and the best way to increase it is to pay attention. And spoiler alert, you can’t effectively do that when you’re multi-tasking. So get into the habit of putting down your phone and giving others your undivided attention. Listen to understand what they’re saying instead of using that time to formulate what to say next. Be genuinely curious. And pay attention not only to their words but their body language. If something seems incongruent, there’s a high likelihood that something is amiss.
5. Watch what you take with you
In our busy worlds, we tend to rush from one thing to another, managing our time in the name of efficiency and productivity. Unfortunately, this kind of never-ending activity often leaves us feeling stressed, and we can’t help but bring that negative energy with us in our interactions with others. But by regularly hitting the proverbial pause button, you’ll allow yourself a few moments to reset before moving on to your next meeting—and leave your stress behind.
6. Choose to be intentional
Before you head into a team huddle, begin a pitch, or meet with a client, make a conscious choice about what energy you want to project and then do that. A huge part of self-awareness is being intentional about your state so you can positively affect others.
When you master your self-awareness and energy and their impact on others, you’ll enhance your communication and relationships, becoming a more effective and successful leader.
