How would you describe someone who lies to you? Who riles you up? Who makes you anxious and afraid? Who questions whether you’re good enough? Who has preposterous blindspots and disturbing biases? Who prods you to suspect the worst of others? Who tricks you into doing things you’ll regret? Who encourages your worst impulses?

But this is what our mind does to us on a daily basis!

Your mind is not your friend, The National sings. “It takes you by the hand / And leaves you nowhere.” They’re not wrong.

As much faith as the Stoics had in our “ruling reason,” they were also quite skeptical, even suspicious, of our mind. That’s why Epictetus talked about putting every impression to the test. That’s what Marcus Aurelius was doing in his Meditations, working through his thoughts, having a kind of debate with himself about things he was sometimes inclined to think but knew might be wrong.

And this is the work that we must do. Our mind can be a partner and a friend, sure. But we have to be of two minds about it. Our mind can be a source of strength and support. But it is also not the most reliable or trustworthy of friends. We have to understand, accommodate and adapt to this reality, make our decisions, and think our thoughts accordingly.