THE BONDS OF LOVE

By Joanne Fairclough

Becoming a new parent can be joyous, but often overwhelming. We hear about a dedicated support service for parents who struggle to bond with their baby – and we get expert tips.

Relationships are everything, but the most important bond is between a parent and baby,” says Carmel Doyle.

As a midwife for 20 years, Carmel has seen first hand that some parents need extra support. Today she manages Mersey Care’s Building Attachment and Bonds Service (BABS).

“During the first few months after birth it’s vital that mums and dads develop a happy, secure and loving relationship with their little one –but sometimes life gets in the way,” she says.

“Looking after a newborn baby can be overwhelming. Problems that you would normally cope with can prove more difficult to manage. If you had a difficult childhood, parenthood may bring back memories of things you’ve tried to forget.”

The BABS team works with other agencies and services to give parents a wide and diverse range of support.

Carmel urges people who are struggling emotionally or worrying about bonding with their little one to seek help.

As new parents we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. If you are relaxed, enjoying time with your baby and as rested as possible, you’ll find your own way of bonding with your little one.

Games like peek-a-boo, singing your favourite song and reading picture books are ideal. Your local library will be a treasure trove – for free!

Gazing into your baby’s eyes, coupled with the warmth of being nestled in your arms is an amazing bonding experience. Skin to skin contact with both parents is very reassuring for tiny babies.

Bathing together is a great way of building trust. You don’t need to do this every night, it’s just as important that you get time to relax!

This is ideal at bathtime or during nappy changes. There are tutorials on YouTube and your children’s centre will have information about local classes.

When your baby starts to make hungry noises, talk to them and tell them that food is coming. This lets them know you are aware of their needs.

“There’s no judgement, we’re just passionate and committed about empowering parents to build a loving bond with their child and helping them believe they’re good enough. All new mums and dads want to be the best possible parent to their baby and sometimes that means getting support. It’s a privilege to help a family thrive”.

• BABS has already achieved national recognition and will this year be showcased at the Royal College of Midwives national conference.

Read Julie’s story on page 10.

A sling is a help to busy parents but the greatest benefit of all goes to your baby. They’re in close contact with your body and the motion of movement is soothing. Check out your local sling library for advice.

For more help and information visit nhs.uk/start-for-life